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Page 133 text:
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ll F1 dmwfwm 1.na:r',::r.n1i.lf.gv.Ai' ' - l fl! ffl S e :ft v?: N Hr I . THE DEAN'S CALENDAR AND ALMANAC JANUARY, 1928 Fifth Month-Color: Red Clnkj Prevailing Evil-Examinations. QE I Suggjgts Sgyjgygs This Dm in Hisrory S 7:14 12-O3 Happy New Year. M 8100 52 Back to school. Two weeks of happy memories. T 8:01 14 Mrs. Oswald sprained her ankle during the Xmas Holidays. W 8202 15 Ben Campbell's car was wrecked-a lecture on careful driving was then delivered. T 8 303 16 Bulletin board disappeared-much woe. F 8304 17 Ft. Scott was whipped by the Lions, 38-36. S 8505 18 Some whispered something about student govern- ment. S 8306 19 Miss Casebolt had on another new outfit. M 9 514 49 Ashlar staff introduced to student body. T 7350 00 Miss Penn broke down and smiled. W 7351 00 Ten below zero. T 7352 00 Miss McCormick was dressed in red. F 7153 44 Ruth Allen missed a question in history-Frlday the thirteenth-always unlucky. S 7354 19 Prof. Reser went fishing today. S 7 355 44 A big date night. M 7 356 33 Bolivar beat us 41-29. T 7 357 23 Kathleen Wilson has gained iive pounds but we love her just the same. W 7358 24 Girl's basket ball team again defeated. T 7159 54 Abraham Lincoln presented at Memorial Hall. Good, but the school kids were noisy. F 6302 23 W Club-the live organization-began to func- tion again. S 6 303 00 Several of the boys cleaned their rooms looking for text books. S 11355 '33 All dates called oif until after examinations. M 6:04 32 A deluge of scarfs descended upon OWC. T 6 305 23 Mrs. Oswald announced that there should be silence in the study hall. W 6506 00 The last day before the execution was spent in prayer and fasting. T 5100 45 Semester exams. Oh, why didn't we study? F 5302 55 Ditto. Stefansson lectured at night. S 12322 11 The shock of the two previous days was too great. S 12 330 12 Some students were out but were nervous wrecks. M 9 300 ,44 Second semester enrollment begins. T 8300 359 Second semester classes organized with some of M. U. with us. Weather Forecast for January, 1928 1-1: Quiet and uneventful except for the fact that it will be hard for Austa to convince everyone that she really got Christmas presents from ten different fellows. 15-27: Growing restlessness and uneasiness due to the impending storm of 27-31: The worst storm in the history of the Freshmen will sweep away all the reserves and many will not survive. ,wt H i N: 7 gg f'l,12,Q' nrarymfavmaw-'4r,Wa'.'l.v.H gn, 4
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Page 132 text:
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' 'The jC1,S'HL,A1L c c as . Ls , 3 - Us THE DEAN'S CALENDAR AND ALMANAC Dictionary of Facts-Continued FACULTY: Darwin's missing links. W CLUB: Now you tell one. CHAPEL: ? ? DATE RULES: The cruel mandates of a Roman Imperator exist- ing only to be broken. REGISTRAR: The guy who messes up your grades, sends out fluk cards and plays the piano in chapel. PRACTICE ROOMS: Just what the name implies. STUDENTS: Species of homo sapiens who infest the halls, talk loLliLdly in classes, do nothing, and finally receive a degree to make room for ot ers. OZARK WEMPS: Key's gang of jazz butchers. . PHILO: A powerful organization of yesteryears-The wind Blow- ing it out apparently. Q. P.: The Carthage agency for a money trust, meaning Quick Petters. RHO ALPHA: A gang of mentally deficients who never consider dating an activity, but think it passed out with their grandmothers. SIGMA LAMBDA CHI: Sources of revenue for cleaning and press- ing brigands, and heavens gift to the bootleggers. SPANISH CLUB: An organization to furnish Margaret Holt with popularity. THREE WISE FOOLS: Benny Martin, Bill Johnson, Chas. Baker. WHISTLER: Benton Burdette Wood will give 31.00 in cancelled postage stamps for the best explanation--profanity will be censored. WORK: What most students attend college to avoid. XYZ CLUB: An -organization firmly intrenched in the belief the Freshmen MUST rule the upperclassmen. ZERO: The temperature of a girl whose date took her to the Philo informal. . . an sa A,
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Page 134 text:
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ll THE DEAN'S CALENDAR AND ALMANAC It Womft loc Long Now, or What Hozjtjtfencdl It was shortly after examination papers had been graded and several professors of a well known college were considerably fatigued. To what extent you will learn laterj. The rosy throated dawn had made a wonder- ous entrance within the Golden Gates and St. Peter Was taking advantage of a lull in business to enjoy life. His herald approached him with the information that a sad looking assembly were even now mounting the golden stairs. The first one an- nounced was a pale-complexioned man with a shock of unruly hair. You, sir, said St. Peter, Arc Professor Brewer, professor of Bible and Social Sciences ?', Yes, sir. Is it true that you contribute much to the possibility of wild night life among the pupils ? I hope not, sir. The rumor has reached me that there is so much enforced sleep- ing in your classes that your students can't sleep at night and so go out to search for amusement. And you are very proud of your ability in mo- toring are you not '? Yes, I am rather proud of it. You shouldn't be. Stand aside. Gabriel ushered in the second unfortunate. It proved to be Prof. Russel. Prof. Russel professor of History, I believe ? Yes, sir. Mr. Russel, I have heard you are a philosopher. I suppose you can answer a question for me ? Nothing is too hard for a philosopher. All right, answer this: Is there anything in the world that can be cut at both ends and still make it longer? You are joking me, of course. That is too simple for an answer. I insist. Well then, there is no such thing. That's foolish. How about a ditch? N ext! The last person came striding in ahead of Gabriel. I am Prof. Wood, expounder of literature and languages of Ozark Wesleyan College, Carthage, Missouri. tLooking around at the groups of angelsj. Ah, so. I always suspected the harps were part brass. Now if there should be anyone here who- Prof. Wood, how long has this Ozark Wesleyan you speak of been a worth-while college '? Four years. How long have you been a teacher at Ozark Wesleyan ? Four years. Take them out, Gabriel. Gabriel led them to an elevator and pushed the button. Going down! ll I IE .it if I i ?l EI s iq, 2 l l Q E ri rg, ls I 3 ll is fa I r- 32 F E M fffhglf . . it 5+ I it N W K
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