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Page 17 text:
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PARADOX 1932 Class Will We, the Senior Class of the Oswego High School, city of Oswego, County of Oswego, State of New York, United States of America, being unusually sane and sound of mind, possessing all other faculties of superhuman understanding required by law, to make, publish, and declare this to be our last will and testa- ment, revoking all former wills composed by us at any time, heretofore. Whereas, we, the Class of ' 32, wish to leave to our worthy successors, not only our loyal and devoted spirit of progress, but also the vast amount of wisdom we have acquired during our brief sojourn of anywhere from fourt to eight years in these halls of learning, that they too may eventually reach a similar status of knowledge. The following Items we do here inscribe in this, our last will : Item No. 1 — We hereby order the faculty with the exception of the male instructors, who will be the honorary bearers of our body to its final resting place, to administer the last rites of a worthy and dignified service. Item N. 2 — To the all-enduring Faculty, we respectfully submit our most heart-felt gratitude and the space necessary for this one sentence in appreciation of their services rendered to us. Item No. 3 — To the Alma Mater we leave the above mentioned faculty more capable and efficient from their long association with us. Item No. 4 — To the School ' s most meticulous authorities, we leave provisions for a Barbed- Wire Fence to protect the terraces and the struggling grass from the vicious and relentless onslaughts of irresponsible Freshmen. To those insignificant members of humanity who possess sufficient nerve to call themselves Juniors, we reserve Senior Hall, better known as 313, and its ever present custodian. Miss Dean. To any popular and worthy Jun ior, President Jack Deno gladly relinquishes his office. To Liz Spencer we leave a pink hair ribbon and an over-sized suit of rompers that she may continue to act the Bubbling Infant. To Miss Leroy, we leave a Twenty-four cylinder I Hixenberg Special which she may proudly display as her own personal TAXI with that nonchalant young man, Mr. Samsel, in his rightful place — Behind the wheel. To Francis (Fox) Riley, we leave a new debate team under the leadership of Cortland (Sarcasm) Raby, to increase his worries and troubles that may hasten the day of his becoming temporarily incensed with AMNESIA. To any worthy underclassman, Adele McDonald bequeathes her wisdom and ability to master foreign languages. To any male student aspiring to become an impassioned debater, Freddy Kane leaves such oratory as never fell from the lips of mortal Man. To Kay Matott, Bud Fletcher and Eileen Somers give up the spacious auditorium stage for solo tap dancing in future Minstrel Shows. To the vast army of lovers in the School, Jane Contryman will disclose by what syragetic attraction she has been able to hoodwink Bob Putman, and also the secret of the art of keeping her man happy. —PAGE SEJ ' EN—
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Page 18 text:
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PARADOX 1932 To Doris Shares we extend our best wishes for her success in the Dramatic World. To Messers Bennett and Fitzgibbons, we leave encouragement, for they will need an extensive amount of it in preparing students of the Science Department for the Regents to come. To Fran Kenific and Camel Callison. Bob Workman and Fran Wells leave the distinction of being the Most Popular boys in the school. To the industrious girls of the institution. Mary Mercier leaves the trait of being at the right places and doing things at the right time with the right spirit. To the hard-working Study- Hall teachers, we provide automatic Recorders so that the Roll may be more easily and efficiently taken, together with Radios to amuse the students. To Principal Charles E. Riley, we leave a squad of assistants to aid him in writing Tardy Slips. To the Librarian, we leave Day-Beds to accommodate those students weary in mind and spirit, who spend three-quarters of their time dreaming within the portals of their Rendezvous, the Library. To Prof. Bliss Lytle, his senior friends extend their best wishes for the continuance of his research into the elementary principles of Evolution and the Fourth Dimension. To John Hanley, Frog Donahue bestows his position of being the only giant in the ( ). H. S. To any student interested in the mechanism of school government, John Neville bequeathes his office as president of the Student Association. To Dan Conway, Ernest Spring le aves his confirmed reputation as a Woman Hater. For Chottie Benz and Betty Dain, we provide a Matrimonial Agency where they may spend the rest of their days looking for Ideal Men. Likewise, any other property, real or personal, that we may possess, we bequeath to the executors, to be distributed as they see tit. We. therefore, make, constitute, and appoint as executors of this will, the Faculty of the Oswego High School with the injunction that they scrupulously carry out these, our last desires. In witness whereof, we have hereunto set our hand and seal this seventeenth day of June, in the year of Our Lord. ne Thousand Nine Hundred and Thirty- two. ( signed) THE SENIOR CLASS. WILLIAM WOOD, Attorney at Law. Witnesses : Student Association i iharles Brown, illne McGee. -PAGE EIGHT—
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