Oswego High School - Paradox Yearbook (Oswego, NY)

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PARADOX 1932 Class Will We, the Senior Class of the Oswego High School, city of Oswego, County of Oswego, State of New York, United States of America, being unusually sane and sound of mind, possessing all other faculties of superhuman understanding required by law, to make, publish, and declare this to be our last will and testa- ment, revoking all former wills composed by us at any time, heretofore. Whereas, we, the Class of ' 32, wish to leave to our worthy successors, not only our loyal and devoted spirit of progress, but also the vast amount of wisdom we have acquired during our brief sojourn of anywhere from fourt to eight years in these halls of learning, that they too may eventually reach a similar status of knowledge. The following Items we do here inscribe in this, our last will : Item No. 1 — We hereby order the faculty with the exception of the male instructors, who will be the honorary bearers of our body to its final resting place, to administer the last rites of a worthy and dignified service. Item N. 2 — To the all-enduring Faculty, we respectfully submit our most heart-felt gratitude and the space necessary for this one sentence in appreciation of their services rendered to us. Item No. 3 — To the Alma Mater we leave the above mentioned faculty more capable and efficient from their long association with us. Item No. 4 — To the School ' s most meticulous authorities, we leave provisions for a Barbed- Wire Fence to protect the terraces and the struggling grass from the vicious and relentless onslaughts of irresponsible Freshmen. To those insignificant members of humanity who possess sufficient nerve to call themselves Juniors, we reserve Senior Hall, better known as 313, and its ever present custodian. Miss Dean. To any popular and worthy Jun ior, President Jack Deno gladly relinquishes his office. To Liz Spencer we leave a pink hair ribbon and an over-sized suit of rompers that she may continue to act the Bubbling Infant. To Miss Leroy, we leave a Twenty-four cylinder I Hixenberg Special which she may proudly display as her own personal TAXI with that nonchalant young man, Mr. Samsel, in his rightful place — Behind the wheel. To Francis (Fox) Riley, we leave a new debate team under the leadership of Cortland (Sarcasm) Raby, to increase his worries and troubles that may hasten the day of his becoming temporarily incensed with AMNESIA. To any worthy underclassman, Adele McDonald bequeathes her wisdom and ability to master foreign languages. To any male student aspiring to become an impassioned debater, Freddy Kane leaves such oratory as never fell from the lips of mortal Man. To Kay Matott, Bud Fletcher and Eileen Somers give up the spacious auditorium stage for solo tap dancing in future Minstrel Shows. To the vast army of lovers in the School, Jane Contryman will disclose by what syragetic attraction she has been able to hoodwink Bob Putman, and also the secret of the art of keeping her man happy. —PAGE SEJ ' EN—