Onarga Township High School - Onarquois Yearbook (Onarga, IL)

Page 26 text:

I, Larry Wulff, do hereby will my ability to miss school to Gene Dickenson. I, Larry “ Al” Balding, do hereby will my excellent throwing arm and my favorite tomato patches to Earl Bork and Jack “Bewsey” Bailey and hope they will make good use of them. I, Quentin “Q Cultra, do hereby will my criminal mind to Jack Bailey and Earl Bork who will be needing it a lot. I, Ernest “Ernie” Wright, do hereby will my ability to peel to John Pruitt, who seems to need it. I, Barbara “Barb” Fisher, do hereby will my ability to refrain from using profane language to Diana O’Hare. I, Dan “Speed” Norvell, do hereby will my ability to get to school on time to Bucket Hoy. I, Donald “Butch” Crist, do hereby will Laurie to Bob Harris for his sister-in-law. I, Maxine “Gertie” Gercken, do hereby will my height to Elaine Bohlmann. I, Marjorie Margie” Weakley, do hereby will my long naturally curly hair to Diana O’Ha re. I, Tom Weakley, do hereby will my ability of getting caught by one of those Baker girls to Glen Molck. WE, the Seniors girls, do hereby will our'ability to steal waterriTeloilS out of tiie boys' locker room and not get caught to the Junior girls. WE, the Senior Class, do hereby make this our last will and testament in the year of our Lord, One thousand nine hundred and fifty-seven. Witnesses: Fay Krapf, Ralph D. Buswell

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CLASS WILL We, the Senior Class of Onarga High School, State of Illinois, being of sound mind and memory???, and considering the uncertainty of this frail and transitory life, do therefore, make, publish, and declare this to be our last will and testament. First of all, we do hereby will the following to our dear beloved cooks, janitors, and teachers: We, the Senior Class, do hereby will the cooks a cook book. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to the janitors, who try to keep the school clean, our paper wads, marbles, pencils, rubber bands, broken waste-baskets, etc. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to Mr. Bus well, a sign that reads: “You have talked long enough! This is to save his voice in homeroom. We, the Senior girls, do hereby will to Mrs. Krapf the honor of baby sitting with our future children. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will Mr. Jones a new story book for Social Problems Class. We, the Senior girls, do hereby will to Mrs. Callaway our old shorthand, typing, and bookkeeping papers. May she put them to good use next year. We, the Senior Boys, do hereby will our long bushy hair to Mr. Callaway. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to the rest of the teachers, the honor of not seeing our shining faces in class, hearing our smart remarks, intelligent answers, etc. We, the Senior girls, do hereby will our ability to come from behind and win to the Junior girls. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to the next year’s Freshman Class the student handbooks we never received. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will the Freshman Class our dear beloved decals. They’ll need three years to see them. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to the Sophomore Class our ability to maintain good grades, get on the honor roll, and stay home and study at night instead of roaming the streets. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will the Junior Class the ability to be scouts and never Brownies. We, the Senior Class, do hereby will to the Junior Class the concession stand and hope that the “Observers” won’t take it away from them. The loyal, honest Seniors of 1957 now will; I, Ardis ‘’Oscar” Harshbarger, do hereby will my ability to be quiet in study hall to Rita Thomas. I, Larry Salmon, do hereby will my ability to sing, to Andy Neilson. I, Ellen “El” Schmidt, do hereby will my ability to go steady with two fellows at one time to my sister Judy. I, Diana “Di” Baker, do hereby will my ability to get my shorthand done in World History Class to anyone dumb enough to try it. I, Duane “Charger” Erwin, do hereby will to the Junior Class--ME, so I can stay to torment them. I, Ruth “Ruff Virkus, do hereby will to Rita Pool my bookkeeping knowledge. I, Robert “Rex” Patterson, do hereby will my seat in Social Problems Class to Joel Eshleman, so he can sit and look out the window and catch up on his sleep. I, Barbara “Dead-Eye” Swearingen, do hereby will my summer tan to Marilyn Harding. I, Nancy “Nance” Natterstad, do hereby will my ability to go steady with the same boy for four years to Mary Ann Shephard and Sandi Link. I, John “Zirk” Zirkle, do hereby will my great height to Gene Olson. I, Mary “Christmas” Crist, do hereby will my driving ability to Wilma Walters.

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Hollywood, California May —, 1967 Squire CXientin Cultra Cultra Ranch Cultraville, Australia Dear Quen, I certainly enjoyed my stay last month at your 750,000 acre sheep ranch with its 300 oil wells. There was just one drawback, I just couldn't get used to diving into that swimming pool filled with money. Well, now I know why they call you “Scrooge. As for myself, I just finished my latest picture with Natalie Wood. It's called “Alone In The Desert. Of course I had Natalie to keep me company, but you don't know the tremendous strain you go through. Speaking of strains, I just happened to be in the old home town a couple of days ago. You'd be surprised. Oiarga has changed hardly at all. I stopped in at the old high school, and I saw Mr. Jones, who's still Principal and head of the Science Department. Mr. Jones was in the process of giving IQ Tests to the Seniors. You remember the IQ Tests, don't you Quen? I used to think IQ stood for Idiot Questions. Anyway, you’ll never guess who Mr. Jones's chief assistant in the electronics field is. Why it’s good ole “Charger Erwin. I understand Duane was responsible for the wire tapping of the boys restrooms to put a halt to the wastepaper-basket gang. On the way out, I met Mrs. “Butch Johnson, head of the Commerce Department. I can't understand how Nancy can teach school and raise ten kids at the same time. After leaving the school, I happened to bump into Ernie Wright, and I mean bump into. Ernie came careening out of a corner and ran into me. After I came to, Ernie and I had a nice polite conversation about the weather, and then we went down to Durham Park where we beheld Wright's Drag Strip. Ernie was in a hurry to get there because he was slated to drive against Robert “Rex Patterson. Rex was just back from Africa where he and JohnZirkle and Larry “Al Balding had conducted their latest Safari. Next year the Rover Boys plan to cross the Amazon Jungle by dog sled. They always did do things the hard way. After the race, I talked to Ernie's chief mechanic, Tom “Greasy Thumb Weakley. Tom’s one of the best mechanics in the business, and you know he'd have to be to put a car together after Wright gets through with it. Tom’s wife, Diana, was at “Greasy Thumb’s greasy elbow handing him tools. After that, Rex, Ernie, and I drove over a block south to Bill Reed’s Marathon Station. We saw Onarga’s Famous Story-Teller propped up in a chair chewing the fat with Don Crist, “The Gentleman Farmer of RidgeviHe. As usual. Bill was expounding on the subject, “Why The Cubs Will Win The Pennant This Year. We asked Don about his old side-kick, Larry Wulff. He said that Larry had moved out to Arizona, where he now has a pig farm, and he has become Arizona State’s Champion Hog-Caller. Going into town, Ernie pointed out the old Mode Theatre, now a spacious block long Burlesque Palace owned and operated by Barbara Fisher and Maxine Gercken. They say the popcorn there is the best in the Middle West.