Onarga Military School - Parade Yearbook (Onarga, IL)

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1.4 flat fm' fjxmfgxt' ANKAKEE KRO IKLE VOLUME XXV NUMBER 1 JUNE 4 1969 PRICE ONE CENT ORIGINATES NEW RADIO PROGRAM Mr Wllllam Varney ncwlv dls covered radlo star has just been sxgn d by Burp Bottlmg Co for a two year contract to begm next Sunday even1ng Burps were xfrald to make a longer contract for fear of a sudden sales loss when tele vlslon lets everyone get a look at Mr Varney The company reallzes damage to the health of chlldren caused by fr1f1ht would be drast1c Varney s program conslsts of Jokes and after each one Burps advertlse thelr products flr that let down feellngl SALES OF NEW HEALTH BOOK REACH NEW HIGH Mr Ralph Gast yesterday made hxs mllhonth collar from the royal ty of hls recent health book It has been pred1cted that the book w1ll rank hxgh among the classlcs M C st begmns bv suggestmg that the leader F156 pr xmptly at the crack of dawn and vlgorously exerclse for at least half an hour fChanged quxte a b1t 1n ?5 years hasnt he J Don S'mth foremost sports au thorlty ln Amerlca trled the pre scribed courses for a whole week When asked for a press statement Smlth rose w akly from his hospl stuck to somethmg mllder 1ke t ming tlgers The Marmes Need YOU' See LT LOL WESLEY MARSHALL Lo cal Recrultmg Ofhcer A free candy bar to each recruit' ARE YOU DEAF Huh What Then Get An EDDIE MURPHY Hearing And Two Sizes--Too Large Too Small S500 S10 00 BAILEY S Bouncing Boxing Gloves 16 oz twlthout horseshoe lmmgj New bouncing feature an exclusive patent of Inventor Phll Barley Syn thetlc rubber exterior in cholce of iolors mldmght black and blue gory red and tombstone gray Paar of socks given with first 10 orders DR DAVIS Memory Course Elght Lessons Eight Dollars Payable in advance! lest you forget to remltl Our motto Your memory ns the thmg you forget wnthb Address all mqulrles to Dr Darrel Davls tor IS It Barrel Davlsj 22 Memory Lane Bourbonnals Ill HOBOES OF AMERICA ELECT NEW KING WITH A SUPERIORITY COMPLEY The most dlstmct honor that can befall any hobo befell Asa Bonner last week when the Hoboes of Amer ICA elected hun thelr kmg Thelr cholce was a wlse one as Bonner IS one of the most ably fltted men for that profe lon 1n America Born wlth a splendxd averslon towards work of any sort Asa w1ll always be able to meet people wlthout of fendlng them wlth a superlorlty ccmplex NEW CURE FOR BROKEN NOSES WALL STREET WALLOWS IN CHOAS AS FRED ADAMS CORNERS THE GOLD MARKET The flnancxal clrcles of the World have been hopelessly and brutally plunged mto n verty Adams knows he has the Morffans and Vanderbllts by the neck and everyone 15 won dermg what thls demon w1ll do next Sulcldes have ncreased alaxmmgly People are begmnmg to speak of 1929 as The Good Old Days' FRANKLIN ROBT SCHMIDT INVENTS NEW PLANE TO REPLACE JET PROPULSION The fleld of avxatlon has been further advanced w1th a new prln clple that beats anythlng yet trled The details are st1l1 a mxlltary sec ret lt has been rumored that only Schmldt hlmself can understand tho. plans Hts test pxlot Raoul Gagne sald that he had clncked the new plane at over one thousand mlles per hour The plane should prove to be eco nt mlcal as xt uses water for fuel Buckmg thls step forward IS Mr Robert Fortner of Carml Ill who owns all the blg oll companles lll the Unlted States Now that cars 'Ire a thmg of would become lt' planes were the past Fortner an absolute pauper run on water Be At Soldiers 1 1965 GENERAL RON FURNO wlll revlew the Greatest Military Medical Unit of the U S Army ever assembled Field Sunday June THE KANKAKEE KRONIKLE Editor DUFF FORTIER Pub lished weeklv Subscrlptlon rates 524: yearly Donations Cheerfully Accepted and Needed SUCLESSOR TO EINSTEIN TAKES OVER MATHEMATICS DEPARTMENT AT YALE As llVlllg proof of the old saylng If at flrst you dont succeed try try and try Zlgalfl lS true M Franklm Wlllls Cole Street w as glv en the most promlnent math profes sor hxp ln lhlS country Although met wlth bltter dlsappomtments 1n hls early l1fe Mr Street never gave up lnstead he courageously tackled Busmess Arlthmetlc made a won derful success of 1t and thus began has bulhant career NEBRASKA DOCTOR DISCOVERS Scottsbluff Nebr flgured ln the news for the second t1me In 25 years when one of 1ts physlclans announc ed dlscovery rf a painless cure for broken noses 1Th1s town caus d lldllOll3l turmoxl resultlng tn 10 amendments to the constltutlon when 1t attempted to s cede from the state rf Nebra kai The Doctor a one Ted Schmndt flrst reallzed the need for such a treatment back 1n hls school days of yole Sand Mr Walter Lvnch on whom the exp rlments were trxed lm to give up my tltle broken noses th an not too anxlous of havmg more fall Schmldt will thls experlme 1 h we a chance to try lt on hls own IIUS WORLD WAR III BELIEVED AVERTED The whole world has been watch mg wnth an anx1ous eye the peace negotlatlons that have be n ln prog ress betwe n Germanv and Bohem ld The whol mlx up began when Kung Russell Rechka CLXVI of Bo hcmla mvaded Germanys eastern border Kaiser Robert Tallman 1m medlately retallated by sexzlng the entire Bohemlan navy Perhaps the most famous lnterna tloral flgure of the pre ent tlme IS Homer Erzinger to whom the cred lt goes for completlon of the nego txauons Mr Erzmger ro e from anonymlty to fame as a dxvorce lawyer fer royaltxes and oon gradu ated to affalrs of lmportance TRY A KELLY KOFIN For Size and Color Kofflns DeLuxe Drape Shape Reat Pletf Pay on Tlme tBoth Waysb 9 ' , . . -V1 V , . - 4 ' e ' . ' .. - . ' ls D ' . - , , r. lg l v ' ' ' ' ' . ' ' ' ' ' S ' ' ' . -M' i . ' SS, . . - . . . . . . .: I - . - -- , - . - . - 'D ' . . ' Y- f - ' - , ' , .L - f l n i i if i if i,-ii Y V Y- fiin D Y rn g 4 . I . . r. l V t , ' . . la ' , ' ' - ' ' e ' e' ' . ' ' ' . 1 s . ' ' ' ' f in . 1 ' ' , ' , ' . ' ' . V , ut H , ' ' 5 , I l , - -- ' . . ' - . 7 ' l S ' - ' Hin v , ' e ' ' '- - - ' . ' ' : z tal bed and said: I should have , . , - - - any man in America anyway, and if Q . . - I. ' I ' . .Q . H ' . 5, . . 1: . . I. 1 - D 5 2 1 . . - V---fr - Ffffivw, . Sv r - y 1 , , , . . X .V ., W Y . , - 1 E I v I I 1 .1 , ' I ' ' 3 ' - . . ' ' L3 D z - . . ' I y I -l - 4 . ' 1 ' . . - . . ' 2 ' ' . 1 - ' ' ' ' K ' . . , - . L ' l , .4 D .' w . . f 2 , ' mm im-W ' . ' S ' ' . . - . r . ' ' -1 ' - . ' , l ' . . , . ' . ' , ' , . . . A . t ' ' . S - - - - 1 ' ' ' . . I ' T' 1 1

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My f f ,Uawlfe CLASS WILL We the senlor class of Onarga M111tary School bemg composed of 1As and subject to the draft board s call at any moment do tender th1s as our last w1ll and testament I, Fred Adams do w1ll to Magor Stlenecker my trlple remforced trous ers made espec1ally for Slldlflg down banlsters I Phll Balley do wlll to Gordy Sherwood my mastery of the art of tylng tles and shoe laces I Asa Bonner glve unto George K1tSOS my 4F card I Darry Davls bequeath to Ralph Huston my untlrlng energy and commandlng VOICE I Rosle Erzmger w1ll to Capt Homer my beaten and battered cornet 1n hopes that some day he w1ll be as good on It as I was I Duff Fortler do w1ll to Llttle Soc Tallman my powers of dolng the 120 yd hlgh hurdles 1n slxteen seconds I Bob Fortner do w1ll to Rance all my broken drum stlcks so there w1ll be plenty of heat ln the dormltory next w1nter I Raoul Gagne do leave to Garvln my good luck Wxth the draftqsj I Ralph Gast confer to the Speedy Burns my ab111ty to get up at flrst call I K1nky Kelly do Wxll my beautlful head of halr to MISLGF Hales I Wally Lynch do leave to Mr Lester my Thesplan p1n and the ab1l1ty to make tear Jerkmg speeches on the spur of the moment I Wes Marshall do Wlll to Corporal Stehowsky my book entltled How to Get Better Passes More Often I Edd1e Murphy do w1ll Captain Davxs my patent formula for sleep mg m class wlth my eyes open I Russ Rechka do w1ll to each and every prep ln the Rankln House one Q13 dose of arsemc I Bob Schmldt do w1ll my ab1l1ty of handlmg women to Fred Vlllanl I Ted Schmldt do w1ll my pos1t1on as Edltor ln Chlef of the Onargosy to some unfortunate underclassman flt for nothlng better I Don Smith do w1ll to Captaxn Ludwlck my cheerful morn1ng dxs posltlon I Frank Street leave to Bob Sm1th my genlus ln flgurlng out prob lems 1n the h1gher planes of buslness arlthmetlc I Bob Tallman do W1ll to Moe Utters my blrd llke appetlte and dalnty ways of eatmg food I B111 Varney do wlll to Bxg Joe my mastery of the Engllsh language Attested TED SCHMIDT EDDIE MURPHY Tommy H1CkS WILHGSS Donnv He1n Wxtness Babble Joe Gravett Attorney at Law Q' f ' ' ' ,L J' V, 1 ' 1 . . . . , v 1 . , . v , - s r v r - v v v v ' 1 v y v v v - v y v v ' y v ' ' cz as - v v I4 xv v v ' . . . V s v Y 7 ' Y V - - v 1 ' 1 V - 9 1 - . V . . . 7 Y ' 1 , . Y ' ' , .

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7ke 44 pmacfe Cadet Sergeant FRED ADAMS C1rculat1on Manager of Onargosy Sports Edltor of Onargosy 44 Sports Edxtor of Yearbook 44 O M S Club 43 44 Golf Medal 43 R1fle Medals 42 43 44 Rifle Team 43 44 Ordnance Detaxl 44 Red Cross 43 Scholarshlp Plns 42 43 44 Soclal Sclence Award 43 Offxcers Club 44 Spent hlS tlme on the Cub Wa111ng Wall OMS Cadet F1rst L1eutenant PHIL BAILEY Commander Company A Football 43 Ba ketball 44 Track 43 44 O M S Club 43 44 Off1cers Club 43 Mlnstrel Show 43 44 End Man 43 44 Natl Ath Scholarshlp Society 44 Rlfle Medals 43 44 V1ce Pres O M S Club 43 44 Crack Company 43 44 O M S 880 Record 44 The human dynarro OM Cadet Captaln ASA BONNER Oxdn nnce Medals -ll 42 43 44 Offxcers Club 42 43 44 Rxfle Team 42 43 44 Track 42 43 44 Camera Club 43 O M S Club 41 42 43 Ordnance 4l 42 43 44 O 'Vl S Hurdle Record 44 H w he could tak the tall txmbers I ' ' '43 . , , . , . - , , . , as ' ' - - , .S ' ' 1 9 , 44 . . 1 v 1, . ' ' 7 Merit Pins '43, '44 , -Y ' 1 Y U 1 S . . . ' ,' ,' ,'44 0 e '