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Page 23 text:
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Senior P opllecy May 1, 3955 A D I am an anthropologist It's my Job to supple ment the records of history with new sources Many ruins of old cities and towns have been discovered in the past years and it has been my duty to see what's in hem that is of any value To get an idea of my line of work, here is an excerpt of my studies of the past month April 11, 3955 Reports came in today of the discovery of the long lost metropolis of Olds, Iowa My assignment is to search the graveyard for clues I will record what's on the tombstones April 13 Arrived in Olds last night The graveyard turned out to be a 'gold mine of information It is reported that the class of 1955 of the old high school is buried here I will begin the research tomorrow April lk I've found 1t'l The long lost grave of the second president of the I F F , Larry Barquist On the stone is the motto of the freeloaders nOn my honor I will do my best to help myself and cheat the rest ' Death was attributed to overeating The next to be uncovered was a tribute to Carol Sandburg, the great operatic soprano Her great career is said to have had a tragic ending She choked on a high C during her 222nd appearance in Carnegie Hall April 15 Today I tried a likely spot in a tangle of skunk cab bage My labors were not in vain It was the grave of an inventor by the name of wayne Tolander He made a flying saucer to aid him in breaking the then existing record of 50 dates in one year In the same cabbage patch was the grave of Delmar Ross a tester for the BP0StP0m Refineriesn IDC His iob was to test the ability of motor oils to res1st being burned away It took Mr Ross exactly 13 months, 13 days, 13 hours, 13 minutes, and 13 seconds to burn out the death was from oil fumes Inscribed on the next tombstone was 9 memorial to Patricia Butch er, who was known as 'Miss Hair Dresser of 1960 Death came to Miss Butcher very suddenly when she drank a glass of her famous Jake' tonic by accident April 16 A grave marker for Roger Canby, the famous English professor of Sing Sing University was dug up next His life was ded icated to the elimination of the confusing irregularities of the English language A sample of his work was the origlnation of the new verb forms bring, brang, brung Cause of death w s choking to death on xylophagous The next was the queerest gravestone I have ever seen It was a square block with a tiny mouse perched on each corner It readd NI dedicate thls memorial to the mice that made me famous It was sign ed by Mary Erwin Records show she had a different method of taming them She kept the mice by her side at all times, even at night Cause of death was a rabid mousebite A military memorial marked the grave of Commander Ronald Brown of the Car Decorator's League of America He was in command of the grem ling who decorate parked cars on dark streets on dark nights Cause of death was a hit and run driver As you see, my work is quite varied and interesting I hope vour intellect has profited from my studies Henry County Mutual Insurance 0 T Wilson Insurance Agency Mt Pleasant, Iowa Mt Pleasant, Iowa I O I . ll . . 1 . . .L. . . . x entire stock of the company and put it out of business. Cause of I II . - I! N : u. ' J 5 - at . : , . . . .
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Page 25 text:
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THE SENIOR WILL X the Senlor Class of l955 olty of Olds county of Henry state of Iowa, Unlted States of Amerlca do nereby make known thls document as our last wlll and testament ARTICLE I The Senlor Class H1115 1ts Urandstand seats t the Junlors May you have another new add1t1on to watch AQTIcLr II lhe Senlor Class M1115 lt 7 l Republlcan majorlty and 5 5 ratlo of boy supremacy to the JUHIOTS May the better Cman of courseb v1n ' ARTICLV III Fo our teachers we bequeath our complete et of notes taken ln class, also our thou ts and serene expre slons of ea er chlloren at work AQTICLE L Patty Butcher Vl1lS her blc brovn e es nd thelr WIHHIH5 ways to anyone vho can use them to h1s best dvantave Larry Barqulst w1lls s eeldency of the I F L Ro ce hlller 'ay h1s ulcers be small ones wayne Tola der vllls n1s odel A QTlVlUQ and nls hot water bottle defroster to Lyle Conrad ay yO r tlres stay on ermanentlw Delmar Ross mllls h1s snot hot rod to rances Lrwln 1D the hope that she can mare 1t run Vary Erwln wllls her lnterest 1U junlor boys to Carol uraber May you succeed as well as Mary Roger Canby mllls h1s Job as pub11C relat1ons dlrector to h1s proteges Larls Shelman and Davld Evans Carol Dandburg wllls her fellne ways to Norma Abrahamson Lay her meows always be heard Larry Barqulst W lls hls ab1l1ty to W1SCOHStFu6 facts and 1nn ocent statements 1n the best sob SISYPF tradltlon to Duayne Benson son May your rortrayal be less real1st1c than Ronald's Delmar Ross W1 ls h1s llrltly used r 5 matter WGlCH has had very llttle mlle and has been urlven by Olds school te chers only to larlene Anderson, vho wlll undoubtedly D t them to better use ayne Tolander Y1llS hls ab1l1ty as a f c1al COUtOTt1OH1St to che r peoole vhen they need lt least to Davld enver May your furny faces be better aporeclated than h1s Carol Sanoburv wllls ner b1OHO8 a1r to argorle Mullln Are you UOlH to bleach yolr halr blonde so that you can be a dumb one999 PHYYV Butcher llls r 11 ht Tl ht foot to Fr Anderson It 1S for the accelerator Fred Mary Wrwln wllls her Sd1tOT13l capaclty to anxooe wlth enough per severance to contlnue WOFklHg when all around h1m 1S 1U fUfmOl1 Ponald Brovn wllls U13 tall dark and hand one physlque to Ann Mullln e're sure lt w1ll come 1n handy Mary Erwln wmlls her knowledve of dark country roads to Marearet Evans May the knovledpe be very useful Delmar doss wllls h1s lonr term v1s1ts to t Pleasant to Edvard Evans May your v1s1ts be unmarred by complloatlons In w1tness of the Senlor Class, we have slgned sealed publlshed and declared thls to be our last wlll and testament R K Crane a Compan, Mt Pleasant, Iowa -L , ve I . . - I I D . ' 1 . I x 1 , , Y I 1 ' A . . v. . 3 - O . U K . . W . , . V. . S : A . Y. . : . 0 ' -'- l I I ' A - ' s - - ' H I rsh S . QJ . . 1 O 1. , N '5 , y, a.' ' ' ' ' f A .1 . 1 a Q . f 2. ' ' hi pr -' ' .F. . . to y I . ' ' ' , . . A X . '. , , . 5, - H . nl K ' - V 0 L v- 1.1, ' K- 1 P A VV. 4. ' ' I I F -. ' ' 5. M . . . . . , . f . 6. V. . . . . . F' , . F I' W . . ,' I 0 W 8. . i . . . M. . . - 9. Ronald Brown wills his ability to portray dead men to John Peter- : Q D ' Q 10. . 'l ' s '51 5 a' J 'l' . ' H' age A ' , 4 ' ' a 1 . 1 ' ' , be . , 11. W. , J. . . . 3 . . . e A U ' I W 3 , t 12. .' Q ' ' h ' M ' ' ' ' , O g ' t ..: 13. , , v' .. he 'g, 3 ' O . . . ' I . ' 1 . . 14. L ' ' A ' ,' ' Q - . . Y . . L A. . 15. . 1 ' L' , g . s A ' . . U W . V. A . A . 16. ' f O O h o -' 3, o 7, ' 5- X , , : O v A O . N . , A . , 4' . , H 0 I I A wr O
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