Olds Consolidated High School - Raider Yearbook (Olds, IA)

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Senior P opllecy May 1, 3955 A D I am an anthropologist It's my Job to supple ment the records of history with new sources Many ruins of old cities and towns have been discovered in the past years and it has been my duty to see what's in hem that is of any value To get an idea of my line of work, here is an excerpt of my studies of the past month April 11, 3955 Reports came in today of the discovery of the long lost metropolis of Olds, Iowa My assignment is to search the graveyard for clues I will record what's on the tombstones April 13 Arrived in Olds last night The graveyard turned out to be a 'gold mine of information It is reported that the class of 1955 of the old high school is buried here I will begin the research tomorrow April lk I've found 1t'l The long lost grave of the second president of the I F F , Larry Barquist On the stone is the motto of the freeloaders nOn my honor I will do my best to help myself and cheat the rest ' Death was attributed to overeating The next to be uncovered was a tribute to Carol Sandburg, the great operatic soprano Her great career is said to have had a tragic ending She choked on a high C during her 222nd appearance in Carnegie Hall April 15 Today I tried a likely spot in a tangle of skunk cab bage My labors were not in vain It was the grave of an inventor by the name of wayne Tolander He made a flying saucer to aid him in breaking the then existing record of 50 dates in one year In the same cabbage patch was the grave of Delmar Ross a tester for the BP0StP0m Refineriesn IDC His iob was to test the ability of motor oils to res1st being burned away It took Mr Ross exactly 13 months, 13 days, 13 hours, 13 minutes, and 13 seconds to burn out the death was from oil fumes Inscribed on the next tombstone was 9 memorial to Patricia Butch er, who was known as 'Miss Hair Dresser of 1960 Death came to Miss Butcher very suddenly when she drank a glass of her famous Jake' tonic by accident April 16 A grave marker for Roger Canby, the famous English professor of Sing Sing University was dug up next His life was ded icated to the elimination of the confusing irregularities of the English language A sample of his work was the origlnation of the new verb forms bring, brang, brung Cause of death w s choking to death on xylophagous The next was the queerest gravestone I have ever seen It was a square block with a tiny mouse perched on each corner It readd NI dedicate thls memorial to the mice that made me famous It was sign ed by Mary Erwin Records show she had a different method of taming them She kept the mice by her side at all times, even at night Cause of death was a rabid mousebite A military memorial marked the grave of Commander Ronald Brown of the Car Decorator's League of America He was in command of the grem ling who decorate parked cars on dark streets on dark nights Cause of death was a hit and run driver As you see, my work is quite varied and interesting I hope vour intellect has profited from my studies Henry County Mutual Insurance 0 T Wilson Insurance Agency Mt Pleasant, Iowa Mt Pleasant, Iowa I O I . ll . . 1 . . .L. . . . x entire stock of the company and put it out of business. Cause of I II . - I! N : u. ' J 5 - at . : , . . . .