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Page 10 text:
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You ' ve written your thesis, The Attects of Accumulative Social Conditioning on American Response Patterns, and now you ' ll be writing resumes — a lot of resumes, unless Uncle Arnold ' s real estate firm has a xerox machine. Now that there ' s no draft, maybe you ' ll go to Europe for a year — just to get perspective. Or then again, you might do your escaping at home. You pack your clothes, books, slide rule, manuscripts, dress patterns, record albums, dog or cat (stuffed or otherwise), and diploma; you say your goodbyes to dorm, house, roach infested apartment, and moldy roommates; and you promise all your friends you ' ll keep in touch (ha-ha). You then join the thousands of other new grads who are battling for the jobs that the kids who stayed behind already have. You learn the words overeducated for this position and inexperienced for that, and you remember what it was like to be thirteen and in between worlds. You ' ve just graduated, my friend, from the true tootsie pop of life — welcome to the stick.
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Page 9 text:
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What rhymes with stadium 7 Ohio State, Woody, Block O and Brutus, Buckeyes, ' ' Fight the Team Across the Field, ' ' Hang on Sloopy, Cheerleaders, Beer blasts, Screaming until your lungs fall out, Touchdown, The Best Damn Band in the Land, Tearing down goal posts, Tearing out your hair, Victory Bell, Stomping Michigan, ■■Hold that line, Field Goals, And total, complete insanity. Yet at forty-seven when your diploma is just a yellow piece of paper on a wall you ' ll sneak a radio to work in Houston, watch a TV in the corner bar in Manhattan or by your pool in LA. Everyone will stare at you as you scream yourself deaf when the Bucks make a touchdow But you don ' t care. Naw, you don ' t care, cause that stadium is your stadium, and that team is your team, cause you ' re an alumni from State. And you bet your sweet ass that ' s Ohio!
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