Ohio Mechanics Institute - OMIA Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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i'di' . CLASS PROPHESY It was a blistering hot night in August. I was strolling along a dark street in Cairo, Egypt, thinking of what I had accomplished in the last ten years of my Iifeenothing. Upon turning a corner I ran full tilt into a little drama which was being enacted. A man, standing with his back towards me, had a pistol leveled at another young man who was holding a bag. The fellow with the pistol seemed very anx- ious to take charge of the bag which the other carried. I stepped up behind the robber and knocked the pistol from his hand, and the high- wayman, finding himself without a weapon, turned and tied. The stranger, for so I took him to be, turned to me and said, ;Sir, I am deeply indebted to you. Had it not been for your timely appear- ance and quick action, I would have found myself out just two thous- and dollars which isnit my own, I am ------ . Well! if it isnit Bud. How in the world did you get into this God-forsaken place'Pi uJimmy Campbell, as I live, I didnt recognize you in that outfit. What are you trying to do? Masquerade as an engineer W No, not masquerading. This is the real thing this time. I am with a New York construction company and have charge of the re- construction of the pyramids. You know a lot of these grave diggers have been tearing them apart looking for mummies, and I have the job of putting them together again. I have quite a nice place with the firm, being chief construction engineer. Started as a field man after I left the University of Cincinnati and have worked my way up. Tonight, When you interrupted the little party with the holdup man, I was on my way to the pyramids With the payroll for the men. But tell me about yourself. What have you been doing to make a name for yourself? Oh, Pve been roaming about this old world, here and there, not doing much in any place. At present I am here because I ran out of funds, and the captain of the steamer informed me that he didnit make a habit of carrying passengers gratis. PM have to lay here until I accumulate some wealth; then I guess Iill go back to the States to Spend- it.' Whafuhave the boys back home been doing, the rest of the class of i231? ttSmittie, Iill call him that, although he really ought to be Mr. Smith now, has risen quite a bit in the world. After he left the 0. M. L, he took a liberal arts course at Harvard. When he graduated, he got a position as editor of one of the International Trade Pressis technical journals, but that was a little too tame for him, so he got in to the newspaper game and is now managing editor of the largest newspaper in the States, The Cincinnati Daily Fasces. He has also written several books. A few of his latest works are: The Exercise Afforded by Cutting a Big Lawni, and iA Broken Arm, or the Police Court of Montgomery, Ohio! ttJoe Jorling took heed of the saying, Go West, Young Man, Go Westf He thought that because he was so good at riding the fellows up in the gym and got the nickname ticowboyii he could be areal cow- boy and ride horses, but every time he climbed astride one of those bi'oncos he had to lay up for a week, so he came back East and got in with a cigarette manufacturing corporation. Two years ago he bought the controlling interest in the factory and now puts outa cigar- ette named after himself, The Joriina. They tell me that he still bums matches, although he is well supplied with cigarettes. HI suppose I donit have to tell you about Carl Koehler, as you were an auto-racing fan yourself and probably know of the records he has been making. His latest speed attained was two hundred and fifty miles an hour out at Los Angeles. When he isnit racing, he is practic- ing his profession as physician. When he left the O. M. I. he went to medical college and graduated with high honors. He is one of the best physicians in the country, but practices only for special work. nHerman Yung, our math genius, followed the engineering line as I did. He is down in Mexico at present, doing some kind of engineer- ing work. I don't know just What it is. He is With a firm that is a rival of mine. He has plenty of opportunities down there to exercise his mathematical ability. nGordon Meyer has ilollowed the chemical field. He perfected and patented a process to make home brew so that a day after it is

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WILL OF THE SENIOR CLASS OF ,23 We, the senior class of 1923, being of sane judgment and sound mind, knowing that ere long we will be no more of the Ohio Mechan- ics Institute school world, do deem it both wise and necessary to make, publish, and declare this our last will and testament Article One: The parking space in front of the building, for- merly occupied by seniorsi machines, we bequeath to our beloved president, Mr. John T. Faig, as a parking place for his Franklin. Article Two: To our faculty we give our most sincere gratitude for the hard labor spent in forcing knowledege into our heads. We also leave in the minds of the faculty a beloved memory of our studious ways. Article Three: To the juniors we give and bequeath all executive positions on both THE MICROMETER and THE OMIA staff. Article Four: To the sophomore class we bequeath our wonder- ful ability to make excuses when tardy or absent. We also give them. a rope with which to pull themselves through xtheir junior year. Article Five: To the present freshman class we leave well- trained ancient history ponies; also the privilege of initiating the incoming freshman class. Article Six: To the incoming freshman class we leave that re- nowned and illustrious work of literature, Sympathy. 7 Article Seven: To Miss Noble We bequeath the three hundred and some odd themes which it has been our pleasure to hand in to her at various times for grading tF., P., V. PJ Article Eight: To Mr. Johnston we bequeath our physics lab notebooks, full of novel tif not correctl observations and data taken during our school year. We also give him the privilege of pounding alternating; currents into the domes of the present junior class. Article Nine: To Mr. Richard we leave our solid knowledge of college algebra. We also leave him the right to feed doped chewing gum to the college algebra class of the next year. Article Ten: To Mr. Ecker We leave all our broken test tubes, flasks, and beakers, together with our five dollar breakage fee. We also leave him the privilege of wearing rose-colored socks and a differ- ent colored tie every day. Article Eleven: To Mr. Frey we leave our four-year old, worn-out drawing boards and T-squares and also the right to assign a new drawing each week to the future senior class. Article Twelve: To Mr. Mitchell we bequeath all the tools, gears, and other machinery which we have constructed during the past year. We also leave him all the goldfish which the juniors may be so rash as to put into his cooling tank. Article Thirteen: James J. Campbell and H. Hilman Smith be- queath to Joseph Weber, their successor, their respective gifts of diplomacy and argumentativeness. Article Fourteen: To any ambitious member of the junior class we leave a megaphone so that the loyal CM rooters of O. M. I. may be able to hear his voice. Article Fifteen: To any member of the junior, sophomore, 0r freshman class so desiring, the individual members of the senior class leave the following: 1. Jimmie Campbell: The dictionary from which he writes his English themes. 2. Joe Jorling: His ability to smoke other peoples cigarettes and his own pipe. 3. Carl Koehler: Wonderful curly hair, the result of standing out in the rain night after night. 4. Gordon Meyer: Two books entitled, itThe Morning After the Night Before, and HThe Face on the Barroom Floor? 5. Bud Schuster: Beautiful Mephistophelian eyebrows, to be applied for at once. 6. Hilman Smith: One scarlet fever edition of thride and Preju- dice. '7. Herman Yung: His college algebra and solid geometry genius. eeJohn E. Schuster.

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made it tastes as if it had been aged in the wood for fifty years, and its got a kick like a mule. His latest invention is a white ink that wonlt: blur. He recently sold five hundred bottles of this to Hilman Smith for his photograph albums. ttI guess that's about all I know about the gang, but if you will stop out to see me, P11 give you their addresses and you can write to them yourself. Having been away from the States for some little time, I have lost track of their doings almost as much as you have. iIIf you want to make some money so you can get away from this hole,come out and I will give you ajob shoveling dirt; Of course we don,t pay much, but I believe the pay is commensurable with your ability. You would probably have to work only three or four years to accumulate enough to start for home. ttWell! so-long, Bud; see you tomorrow. I shall have to be running along now so that I can get back before some other ustick-up artist relieves me of the payroll? uSo-longf' 1 echoed, tTli think over your proposition. And as I continued on my way I meditated on the best way to scrape up the most money with the least effort. e-John E. Schuster. KoehlerettThe Cake Eater. CAN YOU IMAGINEe Mr. HMac scowling? Johnny Schustei' other than he is? Joe playing basket-ball quietly? Ed Dorsey without dimples? Mr. Tatum five foot-three? , Mr. Boebingor without glasses on top of his head or minus his school bag? Belinda Johnson without that Suthlun drawl? The Studio without its present occupants? The Mike omce without Hilman and Jimmie? Ruth Without that funny little laugh? Earl Hopper without a magazine? ttMickey and Beell not giggling? Carl Koehler without a marcel? Molly Without Johnny 01' Johnny without Molly? Helen Cahill Without curls? Alice Rohe angry? Ray Huber talking in a Whisper? President Faig taking his Hease ? Herman being wild? Smith taciturn? Doc Ecker not immaculate? Joe Jorlingls hair mussed? Wallace being unconcerned when there are ladies present? Englekamp working industriously?