Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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screwed the stopper from the hot water bag and pour him- self out a cup of hot coffee. Talk about your light house- keeping! The stomachache was only a fake; all he wanted was the hot water for his coFfee; he had the grounds in the bag all the time One old Irishman in the seat in front of me was mad at everybody, and when the conductor shouted Iona tIeowne 20 Station, the Irishman looked out, and after getting a glimpse of a rickety, old station, he said, '1 dont believe I would tell everybo ly about it anyway. Une old girl 21 few seats behind me had her kld with her, and I don't know what he was trying to do, but the Irishe man said that maybe he was trying to sing, but it sounded more like moving furniture. Pa. always told me I had a good voice for singinge if he forgot h0w my voice sounded when I was gone he would just teat a rag. Finally we landed in that good, old town of Cincinnati, and when I stepped out of the station, I walked up to a policeman and asked him how to get to where I was gomg, and he said to take a green hotse-car. I says, All right. how often do they run PH and he says they run OE and 011 all day, but more off than on. He says, HThe car you want goes over Third street and comes back on Fifth. Says I. ttVVhatts the matter, is it ashamed to come back on the same street it goes down on ? I asked him again how often they were running, and he sait, fti-weekly; they go down one week and try to get back the next HI-Iow in the world do people living along this street get to the theaters ? says I, and he says, NThey don't go; they just stay at home and laugh at these cars? He left me then and in about a half hour he came back and. says, III-lavenjt any ears passed ? and I says, 1 Yes, but none with a green horse. Bing! 21nd I saw stars, but when I came to I was seated in the corner of that car and the con, ductor was standing over me. Says he, lIAre you in here 125 on purpose?U So few people ride on that line he couldn't believe he had a passenger. Being a passenger, I handed him a dime and he handed me back a safety pin and two cough dropsi I says, ttWhatls that? and he says, ttYour change; thatls all Ilvc taken in so far today. After a while a lady got on the car with a goat, and the conductor said tlLady, you cant ride on this car with that goat, and she says, KII tlonlt intend to; Illl pay the goatls fare and get out ancl walk myself, but as she had forgotten her pocketbook, the driver came in and milked the goat for the tfairl when he got hungry. Finally I saw a sign out 'tBoarders Wanted,H and I got off the car and went up to the door, rang the bell and a lady came to the door and says, IlDid you ring? I says, No, but the hell did. I told her I wanted board. She says, IiAlI rightf and takes me up stairs to my room, and by the way. did you ever hoard? Well, you dont know what youive missed. My room was one of these regular boarding-house rooms; it was; so small that they had to paint the gas and the furniture on the walls, and the bed was one of these beetle hound shapes aboutras wide as a narmw pillow, and as long as a short bolster. The door opened out in the hall because the room couldnlt accomodate you and the door at the same time. When I went to bed at night I had to balance myself on my heels and my neck and peel myself like a banana and hang my clothes out of the Window. The first night every time I fell asleep I fell out, but the second night I bought a pair of stirrups and fastened one 011 each side of the bed and let them hang down, and your Uncle Fuller would ref mount every time heId fall out. Since then I have tried 964 boardiugehouses, and if somebody will start up a new one Illl give it a trial. The last place where I boarded I had a room-mate who was a bicycle rider. Did you ever sleep with a bicycle rider? Don't do it, for he'll kick the bed-clothes 0H: and

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keep you busy chasing blankets and dodging feet all night. Hettl take your neck for a handle-bar, put his cold feet in the middle of your back and think he's coasting, but really this is the best time to sIeep, when heis coasting, for When he gets his knee rubbing up and down your backebone you know he has his feet on the pedals again. I kept a bicycle lamp fastened to the bottom of the bed to let him know he was going some. Shortly after I reached the city, I strolled up Vine street one evening and I took in everything from soup to nuts. I stopped in one of those places where you throw at the babies, and for every one yoniknock down you get a rope. and if you smoke enough of the rope they'll wrap you up and put you away. But I didn't hit any babies, so I wrote home and told mother how I missed the children. I went into one of those Fine show places where they have the female singers, and while they are doing stunts it sounds more like a tom-cat serenade with a bull-pup leader. These same girls, after they have hnished their turn, come down and love you in that touching way: they love-touched me Q t0 the tune of all I had $11 tPa, please send me $15 for booksj One of the queens came out and said she would sing a song dedicated to the milkmen of Louisville. entitled, Yes, We XYill Gather By the River. I was walking down the street the other day and some kid had a package of hue crackers and asked me for a light I handed him my cigarette and I thought the kid handed it back, but the dentist thinks he'll have my teeth all right by Thursday. This town has got some mighty funny girls though. One of tern told me not long ago that she didn't want to get tangled up with a fellow who has bad cigars and no money. and sit and look at his face and watch his beard grow. I know that therels no sense in this damn thing, and I just wrote it to keep the gas aeburning and to spite my room- mate when I knew he wanted to go to sleep. Of course, I could have figured up how much I owed everybody, but I wanted to get a little sleep myself. 7 H. E. C. $$mggt$ Love. whispered an alarmed wife, poking her sleeping husband in the ribs, lIXV'alce up the pantry, and they are eating up all my pies.' There are burglars in tIWell, what do we care, mumbled Robbie, so long as they do not die in the house. One day she wore a waist composed of numerous Little holes, beneath which her bosom rose: I, careless, dropped her porcelain filling through Beyond my reach Ah, whither flown; who knows? G O 126 Shrine Of the mighty. can it be That this ii. all that remains. of thee? . Thu chtlty. Having always been at daggers drawing, And one another clan er ClanHU' . 1 p 5 Tim, .8 emors. To the brisk voice of Dr. Vt'ziy, They dance around with but little to say, The Juniors. Where did you COme from, babies dear, Hut of the everywhere into here? ' TIM Freshman,