Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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ONLY A DREAM ed around the festive board-a Senior's ban- :queteit is not to be forgotten. Those smile ing faces, that sumptuous repast, those noble speakers, and, above all, the tinkle of the wine glass lending its enchantment. We are all of us so buoyant, so light and airy that we feel the necessity of putting down everything that is placed before us, the slogan being, HI-Boys, take it all, from soup to nuts? We had a good time, but I am told that there must be something radically wrong with some of our number, and that they had better be cut open and have something sewed up, from the way they put the food and drink under their belts Now it seemed to me that I had partaken in moderation of that sumptuous spread, but nevertheless I tossed and tumbled about my bed that night until I hnally rocked myself to sleep. But my, oh my, such a sleep! I dreamed of money borrowed and money lent, of millions made and millions spent, of classmates who would and would not marry, and fmally I settled on our friend Harry, I was carried on to forty years hence. He, after graduating, had practiced, become famous, made a for tune, and finally, as his business became too wearing on him, he gave it up and settled into retirement, becoming a bloated bondholder and capitalist. 0 104 He traveled about from place to place, and it wasnt a great while until he became separated from his fortune Get back into harness and take up tooth carpentry again? Not much; Harry wasn't built that way, for he had retired from business. Money wasn't any object to him now, for he had home. He had been pondering over the future for weeks, wondering what pursuit to follow, when 10! and behold! the cloud burst forth and unravelled to him its 'isilvery liningy'e an ALETHIAN of 1908. Why not, he had been its Literary Editor, and he could reflect with much pleasure upon his renowned success and the wonderful popularity the book had enjoyed. lTll write for a living; it's much easier than workingf says llMC. Well, he wrote and he traveled U mean he received his Ilbumps'd, but he is one of those persistent fellows that are never licked. I was told that one day he stepped into an office and inquired for the Editoruin-Chief. The ofhce boy informed Mac that the fellow in question was in the next room, and concluded his remark as follows: 'tSay, mister, I'm awful glad you came in. I wanted to get off this after- noon to go to de football game, and de boss wouldnlt let me, but dis will do just de same.u But you couldn't fool Mac; he wore a rubber suit and had a board fastened in the seat of his trousers all the time. It was upon One of these rapid- exit stunts that I accidentally stumbled on to Mac. Did you

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Thereis Nickell, a lad who we must not forget, For a dentist I'm sure he's wholly unlit; For distilling 0f moonshine he is the real stuff, If helll be good he can go on with his bluff. Nicholson, from Rhode Island, brave deeds clone by him- self loves to relate, And how for years in business he has made Wall street tremble and shake; Rice and Risch for brothers might be mistaken, But both emphatically deny any relation; Sharp and Sheppard, we all agree, Are excellent examples of what dentists should be; Smeltzer, from West Virginia, with hair and eyes like a crow, Keeps Cupid busy using his bow; Wood is from Kentucky, as we all know, As well as his answers of quizzes, with a frown, and Donlt know; Needham is a farmer and a pretty good feller, But we all wish he would quit wearing his cuffs for a collar; And last, but not least, comes john Sullivan XVard, With a frown on his face and a blood-printed mrd, l am Sergeaut-at-Arms, and you must walk straight, Or Illl take my Est and break your darn old pate. w-L. 103

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ever play ushinny with a tin can? Well he looked just like that tin can, doing end-to-end and roll-over stunts. I went over to him, slapped him on the shoulder and we em- braced each other, shook hands and said in unison, nLetls have a drink? Now, if we had been girls it would haVe been different. We would have kissed and promptly started to gossip about some other girl. Well, Mac invited me up to his boarding-house. inttoe duced me to the landlady, who was a husky-looking indi- vidual, and looked as though she might be a good contest- ant with Jim Jeffries for heavy-weight honors. Among other things, I noticed a quart of trouble resting peacefully on the mantle. I told Mac that I would as soon tight with a buzz saw as get into trouble with this old girl after she had had a seahce with that bottle. After supper we retired to our room and enjOyed II mean Harry ditll a smoke. I didnt, for he was smoking the same old pipe he wore around college. I proposed retiring early as I was tired, so, there being two beds in the room, we flipped a coin to see which one of us would choose the The beds were Of the beetle hound variety, and the room was so small that during the day one was pushed under the other. Well, after: I got into my bed I felte well, I could feel slats, springsel imagined I could feel the tacks in the carpet; at any rate I felt like I had gotten the worst of the bargain. and I says, ttMac, IIll trade beds and give you a nickel to boot, and he says, tlyou're on, so we traded. Talk about a bad trade; well, I made it all right, all right. If I had been a contortionist I might have bent myself into such shape as to miss some of those springs but as it was I had to do the suspension-bridge act across the top. I asked Mac once how he was resting, and he says, ttOh, Ilm O. K., I am on the H0011 Well, I put in a bad night. The next morning I smelled trouble U mean Hbooze'U on 'Queen Iiill's' breath, so after breakfast I worst. G 105 made myself scarce. It being a hot. sultry morning, I started out for a walk, at the same time telling Mac that he had better settle up his board bill or there would be people walking slow behind him if that old girl ever got Started on him with a rolling pin. XVell it did worry Mac considerable, for when I returned home he told me of the terrible scare he had had, and that after I had left he went to his room, peeled off his coat and prepared to do some work. He figured that he would turn out at least one hundred dollars! worth of Christmas stories during the day, it being the time of year when there is a demand for that stuff. For some time, however, he racked his brain for ideas that would not tome. and finallyr he threw down his pencil in disgust and began nervously pacing the room. hI-Iow can a fellow ever get any Christmas inspiration with the thermometer at ninety-eight in the shade? he muttered to himself as he mopped his brow. HProbably if I went down and crawled into the ice-box I might imagine it was Christmas weather and get 3. few hintsi This will never do, though, with my room-rent so far behind, and I canlt keep dodging the old girl much longer. I'll make a stab at something.