Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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An Alibi? The Class of I907. appreciating the kindness of Provi- deuve in bestowing- upon them such an overwhelming abun- dance Of brain, brawn and moral virtues, together with a vast amount of worldly goods, all of which has been the cause of :1 growth of almost insane jealnusy in the breasts of the faculty and under classmen. aurL fearing that this aforeeaid envy might be the cause of an attempt to break the last will and testament, which this class is about to make, it resolved to go before a judge of competent jurisdiction and obtain a certificate of itx sanity, a copy of which is hereby attached: CRt HYBAIT COURT. CUPNTY OF HAMILTON, State of Ohio. There came before me and Drs. tfaasitly and Knight. alienists, on this the 13th day of March in the year 1907, the foHOwing-named members of the Class of 1907, tkoit: Hill, Hall, Degnon, Keileher, Bixby, Dalton, Krucken Greenburgt Lent, Rameey, Wright, Elias, Gottt Sheets, Boltz, L. E. Smith, Edwards, Kelly, Burdette, Bradley! Lindeman, Harkiua Compton and Miss Stock, to be ex- amined as to the sanity of said Class. The examination was held of the class individually and collectively, and the following report was filed and judg- ment rendered: Item I-Hill, for introducing to a gullible public patent nostrums. Since the attempt was unsuccessful, Hill declared insane. Item item Item Item ItEm Ite in Item Item Item Item zeDegnon, for inquiring cemeeming a temperance No good dentist should ever be guilty Declared insane. licenSe. of such :1 misdemeanor. geljixby, for being so curious to transpiring at the Emery. Declared sane. NOTE-Teqtimony suppressedj 4eDalton, for always remarking: thet ter g0 horse- pistoliif ! Since no good cause can be found for such exclamations, declared insane. 3eGreenburg, declared insane without examination. GeLent, for expming a skeleton to public view, and Declared tee things NED. abandoning same at a crucial moment. insane. 7--R0use, Mondon, Devine, Bolt: and L. E. Smith texamined in a hodyt, for not voting to take the Prosthetic questions at forty cents each. De- elated parsimonious: bordering on insanity. 8---Kelleher and Goreis, for failing to go to the Psi Omega dance because of their unfit condition. Judgment suspended. 9-Krueker, for having trainees. It is proven that for the previous three years Krueker has been in a trance. Declared insane. IoeRamsey, for growing a hirsute appendage. Evi- dence shows that he has had it removed. De- clared sane. IIiHall. for rooming with Bradley. sane. Declared i11-

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Senior History a part Of the student life of the Ohio College Of Dental Surgery. is almost complete iVe have at lact reached that stage in our college life where we can enjoy the result of our labors, and, having endured the stale jokes thrust upon us by our learned superiors, we look forth with something of regret to that event which wit! send us forth, each to seek his fortune in the various pursuits of hfe. XYC all believe that actions speak louder than words, and so, without tiring your minds with a detailed descrip- tion of our achievements, I will merely record the simple facts. It would be inappropriate, and impossible, too, in this place. to measure minutely the. steps in the progress of our class under the leadership of these very efficient officers, and have learned four great lessons: Observe, compare, retiect and record. Four things come not back: ttThe spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected Opportunity. That our arrows have found their marks, that our past life has been one of victory, and that we have neglected 110 Opportunities, the. Class of Nineteen and Six is a witness. And, where we have turned from deeds of Odyssean wile and engaged in open battle, how have we fared? You tell us that the allies were decisively victorious at Waterloo, and we tell you that the Class of Nineteen Hundred and Seven was overwhelmingly victorious in the battles or class rushes between our dignihed Seniors of the 1905 Class. 4.0 The Nineteen Hundred and Six Class, being handicapped in numbers and nerve. were EXCttstd. The next battle of am- importance was the folimvihg year, when we were compelled to show the Class of Nineteen and Eight who their superiors wei'e, and, lastly3 but not least, while in our Senior year, were compelled to show the students of the University of Cincinnati that they await an invitation before coming into our class meetings. Mohamet, in one of those clairvoyant states where the whole panorama of heaven and earth was vividly presented to his view, said prophetically of the Class of Nineteen and Seven, that win the shadow of the sword are fellowships finely formed, and by honor and candor are they nurtured. Surely, if in the shadow of the sword there he struggles and suspicions of struggles; victories, and suspiciom of victories, and losses better than htmdredfOId gain, the fellowship of 1907 should be firmlv cemented! And may that honor and candor which have, perchancei been dimmed but never extin- guished, blaze forth more purely and permanently than tires on vestai altars, and cheerfully illumine the advancing: years! The Claws 0f Nineteen and Seven has always been dis- tinguished for ite perseverance, and for the spirit of deter- mination which has always marked ite; progress. One short term'renmins to complete our college life, and now, as we look forth upon the future that awaits us, let us ever be mindful of our motto, ttEsse Quam Videre,u and may it he as a guiding spirit to hold us together as a solid phalanx united for the honor and glory of good old Nineteen and Seven! FRED. S. WOOD, j07.

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Item Item Item item I te in Item Item Item Item Item eItem Item Item Item Izelliright, for resigning from the invitation com- mittee after the work was done and before money was collected. Declared insane. I3eElias, for taking Wright's place on the invitation committee after work was done and before money was collected. Declared sane 14eGOtt. for being 50 susceptible to wayward influi ence. Declareclinsane. Isisheets, for constantly giggling. Declared in- sane. I6eSchwai-tz, for constant attendance at Chrisia'. Declared insane. . 17eBuckinghum, for marrying a rich girl. Declared perfectly sane. 18-Siegfriecl, for taking the risk of trying to write funny things. Declared hopelessly insane. Ig-Edwai'ds, for trying to imitate a monkey in a cage. Since the evidence shows it is natural for him to act thusly, declared insane. zoaKelly, for being noisy in lecture. lJudgment suspended, for it is thought that when he grows up he will be of soulnd mind. ztiiilurrlette, for leaving the dark-haired lady on the train. Declared insane. N0 examination as he could Speak Declared 22-Lindeman. only the wordsJ HClara and nStock.u insane. 23eCompt0n, for not outgrowing his youthful ap- pearance, having had three years of city life, De- clared insane. 24-Miss Stock, for attempting to lecture to a bunch of hoodlmns. Declared insane 25-The remaining members of this class are not thought to be insane at all times, and, since no evi- -42 dence has been brought against them, no judg- ment will be rendered. Tn spite of the evidence produced against various mem- bers of this class it is declarel by thie court that the class be competent to make an incontestahle will. H. A. SMITH, Judge Of Court Of Crowbait. ALIIcNISTs-DR. CASSIDY. DR. WRIGHT. XVILLIAM KNIGHT, Bailiff ;t03 Last Will and Testament of the Class of 1907 In the name of the benevolent Father of all, we, the Class of 1907 of the Ohio College of Dental Surgery do make and publish this, our last will and testament. Know ing full well that on account of the undisputed fact that there never has been, and, in all probability, never will be, a class graduate from this school so richly endowed men- tally, physically and morally as we ourselves; recognizing the honor our presence has bestowed upon this school, and having a proper brotherly feeling for those who are to fol- low in our footsteps, and recognizing their natural incom- petency, and wishing to aid and assist them, in order that, when compared to the high standard we have placed before them, that they may not appear entirely insignificant when standing in the light of our reflected gloryi we do. as a whole, give and devise as follows: ltein I-Uur studioumess to deserving under classmen. Item zeOur youthfulness t0 the Freshmen. Item 3-Our morals to the Society for the Suppression of Vice. item 4-JFhe love bestowed upon us by the Faculty t0 the Juniors.