Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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DON'TS ON THE USE OF HCT AIR. Don't remark at dental conventions or elsewhere that you never charge less than 315.00 for a gold crown, nor less than 310.00 for a gold filling. Young practitioners might believe it, while older practitioners might per- suade you that your city is too small for such a genius. Don't attribute unworthy motives to another practi- tioner because he joins some society, or because he attends church. The man who emits this variety of hot air usually spends Sunday at the operating chair. He finds it pays better. Don't think you are too busy to attend dental meet- ings. The men who accomplish most and are really the busiest men are seldom heard to remark, I am too busy. ' Don't talk shop. If you talk about your work when you are out of your office, wise ones will know that you do not get enough work when you are in your office. Don't try to impress people with the magnitude of your practice by remarking that you have appointments extending over the two following months. It may be that the man at the next corner does just as much work, and yet, because of greater executive ability, has his appointments only two weeks in advance. This latter course will be found more satisfactory to both dentist and patient. Don't criticise adversely every piece of work you see. You might inadvertently happen on a piece of your own and have difiiculty in making explanations. Don't forget it takes a rubber bulb to force the hot air. If you are in the habit of dealing in this commo- dity don't look surprised if some fellow says rubber The market value of a hot air syringe is such that every dentist can afford to have one, and always use ihe syrzbzge. I PROVERBS UP TO DATE. Better swallow your good jest than lose your good friend. Sweet are the uses of adversity, bitter are the uses of prosperity. The rising generation owes much to the inventor of the alarm clock. If vanity were a deadly disease, every undertaker would buy fast horses. When the last trump sounds some woman will ask Gabriel to wait a minute. A good field of corn is one thing a farmer doesn't care to have crowed over. The Dead March is not necessarily the one that the musicians have murdered. The oil of insincerity' is more to be dreaded than the vinegar of vituperation. A walk may improve your appetite, but a tramp will eat you out of house and home. The man who can not be beaten is he who holds his head up when he has been beaten. Cheese, active. Butter, strong. Coal, light. Coffee, weak. CUKOO. Scene-Parlor. Youth and maiden in close proximity. Hunt fsheepishlyD-Darling, what are you think- ing of? Bess Qsighingl-Oh, nothing mnch. Hu11t Cgrowing bolclerl-I did have a faint hope that you were thinking of me. Bess Cslylyj-I was.

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SOME NEW EXPRESSIONS. Hush Money-Cash paid for soothing syrup. The World's Greatest Composer-Chloroforni. Afraid of Nothing-The person scared by a ghost. The Stamp Act-Loud applause. The Hire Class -Employes. Matrimony-Contradictions and contrary actions. Held Up -WOlllCl1,S trains. ' Poor Actor-Bankrupt tragedian. Chocolate Drop-Fall of a darky. Vacant Smile-Empty Hask. Pants for Notoriety-Actress who dons trousers. Goes Without Saying-A discharged mute. Wrapping Paper-A partisan sheet. Pair of Slippers-Orange peel and banana skin. Skyscrapers -Comets. In for a High Time-Clock in the steeple. Bald Head-Something we don't want, yet wouldn't lose. Income Tacks-Iron that enters the sole. Words that Burn --Verses in the Waste basket. SMOKE UP! The Cigar-Hello, old chapg you're looking good- how do yon feel? The Pipe-Oh, first class. I'm getting stronger every day. How are you? The Cigar-Dead to the world, thank you. I'm to be cremated this morning. Because a man has dollars doesn't necessarily imply that he has sense. l r l l 132 COINCIDENCE. That tooth was very hard to pull 3 I had to yank and strive- But since you are my customer, I'll charge you only live, Said the dentist. A rather strange coincidence - Your pardon, sir, I beg- But when you pulled my tooth, I'll swear You also pulled my leg, Said the man, ALWAYS SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY. There was a young lady named Jane, VVho went out for a walk in the rain 3 Her skirts were so lacy It really was racy And drove all the chappies insane. TOO BAD. Oh, there once was a weak-minded squire, Who Warbled low voice in the choir 5 He one day out of luck On a lovv note got stuck, And they dug his voice out of the mire. AN EPITAPH. Here, free from surgeons, rests the form Of Ebenezer Moses Bendix. He's gone to the eternal realms To join his verrniform appendix.

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DO YOU KNOW AD INFINITUM. That all men have their price and some get it? That the door to success is always marked Push? That we believe the onion to be a century plant? That the fool who keeps still may be taken for a man of sense? That many a boy keeps shady for fear of getting tanned ? That a man with horse sense should know enough to say neigh ? That if you can not have what you would like, you should try to like what you have? That we would better try being as good as we advise others to be? That it is more difficult to train a miss than to miss a train? That you would better cease growling about this world until you find a better one? That it isn't what you have, but what you don't want that will make you happy? That hard water may be made soft by adding soda, and soft water becomes hard by freezing? That a hundred men can only make a camp, while it takes a woman to make a home? That while some people are free with their opinions, you will never find a professional photographer giving They've found the bug That eats the bug That fights the bug That bites us 5 They've traced the germ That kills the germ That chews the germ That smites us. They know the bug That knifes the bug That stabs the bug That jabs usg ' They've seen the germ That hates the germ That biffs the germ That nabs us. They've chained the bug That bolts the bug That jolts the bug That bings us g They've got the germ That gulps the germ That nips the germ They hold the bug That scolds the bug That told the bug To pinch us 3 They chase the germ That helps the germ That cheers the germ To cli11ch us. They've struck the bug That slays the bug That Hays the bug That sticks us 3 They've jailed the germ That guides the germ That taught the germ To fix us. But still these bugs- Microbic thugs - In spite of drugs Combat us g And still these germs- Described in terms Inspiring squirms- his views for nothing? That stings us. Get at us. ASKED-ANSWERED. HIS FINANCIAL PARADOX. junior-How do you like your new boarding house? A thing I can not understand- Freshman -Well, it has its strong and weak points. Perhaps it springs from thought refracted- jiinior-What are they? - Is how a fellowts debts expand Freshman-The butter and the coffee. l The more they are contracted. I