Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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SOME NEW EXPRESSIONS. Hush Money-Cash paid for soothing syrup. The World's Greatest Composer-Chloroforni. Afraid of Nothing-The person scared by a ghost. The Stamp Act-Loud applause. The Hire Class -Employes. Matrimony-Contradictions and contrary actions. Held Up -WOlllCl1,S trains. ' Poor Actor-Bankrupt tragedian. Chocolate Drop-Fall of a darky. Vacant Smile-Empty Hask. Pants for Notoriety-Actress who dons trousers. Goes Without Saying-A discharged mute. Wrapping Paper-A partisan sheet. Pair of Slippers-Orange peel and banana skin. Skyscrapers -Comets. In for a High Time-Clock in the steeple. Bald Head-Something we don't want, yet wouldn't lose. Income Tacks-Iron that enters the sole. Words that Burn --Verses in the Waste basket. SMOKE UP! The Cigar-Hello, old chapg you're looking good- how do yon feel? The Pipe-Oh, first class. I'm getting stronger every day. How are you? The Cigar-Dead to the world, thank you. I'm to be cremated this morning. Because a man has dollars doesn't necessarily imply that he has sense. l r l l 132 COINCIDENCE. That tooth was very hard to pull 3 I had to yank and strive- But since you are my customer, I'll charge you only live, Said the dentist. A rather strange coincidence - Your pardon, sir, I beg- But when you pulled my tooth, I'll swear You also pulled my leg, Said the man, ALWAYS SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY. There was a young lady named Jane, VVho went out for a walk in the rain 3 Her skirts were so lacy It really was racy And drove all the chappies insane. TOO BAD. Oh, there once was a weak-minded squire, Who Warbled low voice in the choir 5 He one day out of luck On a lovv note got stuck, And they dug his voice out of the mire. AN EPITAPH. Here, free from surgeons, rests the form Of Ebenezer Moses Bendix. He's gone to the eternal realms To join his verrniform appendix.

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' AN INDISCRETION. l HIAWATHA UP TO DATE. lTwas wet as wet can always beg Thus departed Hi A. Watha The car was gliding steadily l To the land of the Dakotas, Priscilla, standing, raised her dress, To the land of busy blizzards. To 'scape the floor's l1UC1Ca111in6SS. Some weeks later he, returning, Her lace-clad ankle and her shoe Carried with him a divorceletg Made manifest to common view. Then unto his ex-wife Minnie The crowd pressed ing Priscilla clung He did give the merry ha-ha! Against my arm as on we swung As she packed her little griplet Close up!'l cried the conductor, curt, For a trip back home to mamma- She blushed and dropped the lifted skirt. To the village designated My clothes were up, but how ill-bred On the railway maps as Cleveland. Of him to shout it out! she said. l MEAN THING. SCULPTURE- Look, cried the orator with a wide sweep of his There was an old sculptor named Phidias, hand. Look at the ravages of time. We can see Whose knowledge of art was invidious. them on every hand. And two old maids way up on I-Ie carved Aphrodite the front seat got up and went out. Without any nightie- Which startled the purely fastidious. W -1. Knemoeller-Doctor, will you come and look at this tooth, I have taken the cavity out. YEA, VERILY. In this world of strife and woe, W' A man must have Some grit? Oh, how happy would Hulm be, could he hut aspire HiS motto must be Upush and go, to the position of a ladies' man. Or else he'll get there-Nit. Phillips says that ten years ago he was a Farmer, Are Miss Huff and Miss Whallon going into the Milli- nery Business? If not, why do they size up the hats Th in the Clinic room so? Oh! an Easter Bonnet! I see. Dr. Way lcalling the rollb- Mrs, Davies. Oh scissors, let's cut up. Shurtz- Sl1e's absent, Doctor. I3I

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DON'TS ON THE USE OF HCT AIR. Don't remark at dental conventions or elsewhere that you never charge less than 315.00 for a gold crown, nor less than 310.00 for a gold filling. Young practitioners might believe it, while older practitioners might per- suade you that your city is too small for such a genius. Don't attribute unworthy motives to another practi- tioner because he joins some society, or because he attends church. The man who emits this variety of hot air usually spends Sunday at the operating chair. He finds it pays better. Don't think you are too busy to attend dental meet- ings. The men who accomplish most and are really the busiest men are seldom heard to remark, I am too busy. ' Don't talk shop. If you talk about your work when you are out of your office, wise ones will know that you do not get enough work when you are in your office. Don't try to impress people with the magnitude of your practice by remarking that you have appointments extending over the two following months. It may be that the man at the next corner does just as much work, and yet, because of greater executive ability, has his appointments only two weeks in advance. This latter course will be found more satisfactory to both dentist and patient. Don't criticise adversely every piece of work you see. You might inadvertently happen on a piece of your own and have difiiculty in making explanations. Don't forget it takes a rubber bulb to force the hot air. If you are in the habit of dealing in this commo- dity don't look surprised if some fellow says rubber The market value of a hot air syringe is such that every dentist can afford to have one, and always use ihe syrzbzge. I PROVERBS UP TO DATE. Better swallow your good jest than lose your good friend. Sweet are the uses of adversity, bitter are the uses of prosperity. The rising generation owes much to the inventor of the alarm clock. If vanity were a deadly disease, every undertaker would buy fast horses. When the last trump sounds some woman will ask Gabriel to wait a minute. A good field of corn is one thing a farmer doesn't care to have crowed over. The Dead March is not necessarily the one that the musicians have murdered. The oil of insincerity' is more to be dreaded than the vinegar of vituperation. A walk may improve your appetite, but a tramp will eat you out of house and home. The man who can not be beaten is he who holds his head up when he has been beaten. Cheese, active. Butter, strong. Coal, light. Coffee, weak. CUKOO. Scene-Parlor. Youth and maiden in close proximity. Hunt fsheepishlyD-Darling, what are you think- ing of? Bess Qsighingl-Oh, nothing mnch. Hu11t Cgrowing bolclerl-I did have a faint hope that you were thinking of me. Bess Cslylyj-I was.