Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

Page 133 text:

' AN INDISCRETION. l HIAWATHA UP TO DATE. lTwas wet as wet can always beg Thus departed Hi A. Watha The car was gliding steadily l To the land of the Dakotas, Priscilla, standing, raised her dress, To the land of busy blizzards. To 'scape the floor's l1UC1Ca111in6SS. Some weeks later he, returning, Her lace-clad ankle and her shoe Carried with him a divorceletg Made manifest to common view. Then unto his ex-wife Minnie The crowd pressed ing Priscilla clung He did give the merry ha-ha! Against my arm as on we swung As she packed her little griplet Close up!'l cried the conductor, curt, For a trip back home to mamma- She blushed and dropped the lifted skirt. To the village designated My clothes were up, but how ill-bred On the railway maps as Cleveland. Of him to shout it out! she said. l MEAN THING. SCULPTURE- Look, cried the orator with a wide sweep of his There was an old sculptor named Phidias, hand. Look at the ravages of time. We can see Whose knowledge of art was invidious. them on every hand. And two old maids way up on I-Ie carved Aphrodite the front seat got up and went out. Without any nightie- Which startled the purely fastidious. W -1. Knemoeller-Doctor, will you come and look at this tooth, I have taken the cavity out. YEA, VERILY. In this world of strife and woe, W' A man must have Some grit? Oh, how happy would Hulm be, could he hut aspire HiS motto must be Upush and go, to the position of a ladies' man. Or else he'll get there-Nit. Phillips says that ten years ago he was a Farmer, Are Miss Huff and Miss Whallon going into the Milli- nery Business? If not, why do they size up the hats Th in the Clinic room so? Oh! an Easter Bonnet! I see. Dr. Way lcalling the rollb- Mrs, Davies. Oh scissors, let's cut up. Shurtz- Sl1e's absent, Doctor. I3I

Page 132 text:

THINGS YOU NEVER SEE. Tomorrow. Yesterday. The end of your desire. A young girl that isnlt dreaming of a Prince Florizel. An old maid that hasn't a bottle full of tears in her trunk. A youth of 16 who doesn't yearn for a mustache. A man of 40 who isn't either a fool or a philosopher. A man of So who has finished his education, Dr. Way to Morrison Qwho is putting in a gutta- percha fillingj- Why don't you put that in with a syringe? Morrison Qlooking through his instrument casel- 'K Which syringe shall I use, Doctor? S. G. Walton pulled a tooth one Sunday morning and a D. D. S., who was over a mile away, heard the patient yell: Simmyl' intends to make painless dentistry a specialty. Twas heard over the telephone. Here lies the body of Susan Lowder, Who burst while drinking a seidlitz powder g Called from this earth to her heavenly rest, She should have waited 'til it had effervesced. A boy stood on the railroad track, The train was coming fast 5 The boy stepped off the railroad track, And the train went whizzing past. I3O AS IT ISN'T. I have noticed, said Dr. Smith, pausing in his lecture, that two or three of the students have looked at their watches several times in the last few minutes. For fear their timepieces do not agree, I will say that the correct time is a quarter after 9. I set my watch by the regulator last night. The lecture will be over at 9:31. It would have closed promptly at the half hour, but for this digression. Let us now proceed to discuss food debris. NEWS ITEM. Several seniors enjoyed quite a treat one day in March. The door of the College Library was mys- teriously left ajar and the fortunate students present got to peep through the crack and saw the pile of ancient literature inside. TIME AND TIED. On Monday a Covington girl waved her handker- chief at a stranger. On Tuesday they were married. On Wednesday she waved a rolling pin at her newly acquired husband. On Thursday he applied for a divorce. That's what the wild waves are saying. Dr Knight-f'What would you do, if, in drilling through the mastoid portion of the temporal bone, you should injure the lateral sinus. Donaldson-'fSend for a doctor.

Page 134 text:

SOME NEW EXPRESSIONS. Hush Money-Cash paid for soothing syrup. The World's Greatest Composer-Chloroforni. Afraid of Nothing-The person scared by a ghost. The Stamp Act-Loud applause. The Hire Class -Employes. Matrimony-Contradictions and contrary actions. Held Up -WOlllCl1,S trains. ' Poor Actor-Bankrupt tragedian. Chocolate Drop-Fall of a darky. Vacant Smile-Empty Hask. Pants for Notoriety-Actress who dons trousers. Goes Without Saying-A discharged mute. Wrapping Paper-A partisan sheet. Pair of Slippers-Orange peel and banana skin. Skyscrapers -Comets. In for a High Time-Clock in the steeple. Bald Head-Something we don't want, yet wouldn't lose. Income Tacks-Iron that enters the sole. Words that Burn --Verses in the Waste basket. SMOKE UP! The Cigar-Hello, old chapg you're looking good- how do yon feel? The Pipe-Oh, first class. I'm getting stronger every day. How are you? The Cigar-Dead to the world, thank you. I'm to be cremated this morning. Because a man has dollars doesn't necessarily imply that he has sense. l r l l 132 COINCIDENCE. That tooth was very hard to pull 3 I had to yank and strive- But since you are my customer, I'll charge you only live, Said the dentist. A rather strange coincidence - Your pardon, sir, I beg- But when you pulled my tooth, I'll swear You also pulled my leg, Said the man, ALWAYS SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY. There was a young lady named Jane, VVho went out for a walk in the rain 3 Her skirts were so lacy It really was racy And drove all the chappies insane. TOO BAD. Oh, there once was a weak-minded squire, Who Warbled low voice in the choir 5 He one day out of luck On a lovv note got stuck, And they dug his voice out of the mire. AN EPITAPH. Here, free from surgeons, rests the form Of Ebenezer Moses Bendix. He's gone to the eternal realms To join his verrniform appendix.