Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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THINGS YOU NEVER SEE. Tomorrow. Yesterday. The end of your desire. A young girl that isnlt dreaming of a Prince Florizel. An old maid that hasn't a bottle full of tears in her trunk. A youth of 16 who doesn't yearn for a mustache. A man of 40 who isn't either a fool or a philosopher. A man of So who has finished his education, Dr. Way to Morrison Qwho is putting in a gutta- percha fillingj- Why don't you put that in with a syringe? Morrison Qlooking through his instrument casel- 'K Which syringe shall I use, Doctor? S. G. Walton pulled a tooth one Sunday morning and a D. D. S., who was over a mile away, heard the patient yell: Simmyl' intends to make painless dentistry a specialty. Twas heard over the telephone. Here lies the body of Susan Lowder, Who burst while drinking a seidlitz powder g Called from this earth to her heavenly rest, She should have waited 'til it had effervesced. A boy stood on the railroad track, The train was coming fast 5 The boy stepped off the railroad track, And the train went whizzing past. I3O AS IT ISN'T. I have noticed, said Dr. Smith, pausing in his lecture, that two or three of the students have looked at their watches several times in the last few minutes. For fear their timepieces do not agree, I will say that the correct time is a quarter after 9. I set my watch by the regulator last night. The lecture will be over at 9:31. It would have closed promptly at the half hour, but for this digression. Let us now proceed to discuss food debris. NEWS ITEM. Several seniors enjoyed quite a treat one day in March. The door of the College Library was mys- teriously left ajar and the fortunate students present got to peep through the crack and saw the pile of ancient literature inside. TIME AND TIED. On Monday a Covington girl waved her handker- chief at a stranger. On Tuesday they were married. On Wednesday she waved a rolling pin at her newly acquired husband. On Thursday he applied for a divorce. That's what the wild waves are saying. Dr Knight-f'What would you do, if, in drilling through the mastoid portion of the temporal bone, you should injure the lateral sinus. Donaldson-'fSend for a doctor.

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OLD WORLD DENTISTRY. False teeth are by no means a modern invention, as is proven from the fact that jaw bones of mummies have been found with false teeth in them, and also with teeth iilled with gold. Indeed, the ancient Egyptians were no mean dentists, and in Greece the art was also prac- ticed with much skill. There is plentiful evidence of skilled dentistry among the Romans, and many of the ancient Latin authors have referred to false teeth. There is a distinct notice of them in the Roman Laws of the Twelve Tables. The first part of No. IO prohibits useless expense at funerals, but an exception is made in No. II, which per- mits the gold iillings of teeth, or the gold with which they are bound, to be buried or cremated with the corpse. About a couple of years ago an ancient grave was discovered near Rome. It was opened, and in it was found the skeleton of a woman with a complete set of false teeth, admirably made and wrought out of solid gold. OH! When Ethel saunters down the street The men whom she will chance to meet Will glance upon her pretty clothes Thro' eyes that look like two small O Os. But when she mounts the trolley car, Most every man, both near and far, Will pause as on his way he goes And stare with eyes like two big O Os. I2 INFALLIBLE SIGNS. Your house destroyed by fire signifies a change of residence. Throwing stones into the windows of strange houses brings misfortune. Slipping on a banana peel is bad luck if both feet leave the pavement. Your collar button rolling under the dresser is a sign of approaching anger. Don't break your leg on Friday unless you wish to regret it. Being run over by a trolley car signifies withdrawal from business. A needy person receiving a large inheritance will experience a change of fortune. A FAILURE. Rice- My congratulations, old man 3 no more sewing on buttons now, eh? Crocker- No, indeed I I'm so busy supporting my wife that I haven't time to sew on buttons. I use safety pins now. Life is real, life is earnest From the start until the end 3 And with the demise of Z1 doctor The undertaker plants a friend. Moyer- Have you seen ' David Huruni ' :it the VValut this week ? Kearby- No 3 what is he playing?

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' AN INDISCRETION. l HIAWATHA UP TO DATE. lTwas wet as wet can always beg Thus departed Hi A. Watha The car was gliding steadily l To the land of the Dakotas, Priscilla, standing, raised her dress, To the land of busy blizzards. To 'scape the floor's l1UC1Ca111in6SS. Some weeks later he, returning, Her lace-clad ankle and her shoe Carried with him a divorceletg Made manifest to common view. Then unto his ex-wife Minnie The crowd pressed ing Priscilla clung He did give the merry ha-ha! Against my arm as on we swung As she packed her little griplet Close up!'l cried the conductor, curt, For a trip back home to mamma- She blushed and dropped the lifted skirt. To the village designated My clothes were up, but how ill-bred On the railway maps as Cleveland. Of him to shout it out! she said. l MEAN THING. SCULPTURE- Look, cried the orator with a wide sweep of his There was an old sculptor named Phidias, hand. Look at the ravages of time. We can see Whose knowledge of art was invidious. them on every hand. And two old maids way up on I-Ie carved Aphrodite the front seat got up and went out. Without any nightie- Which startled the purely fastidious. W -1. Knemoeller-Doctor, will you come and look at this tooth, I have taken the cavity out. YEA, VERILY. In this world of strife and woe, W' A man must have Some grit? Oh, how happy would Hulm be, could he hut aspire HiS motto must be Upush and go, to the position of a ladies' man. Or else he'll get there-Nit. Phillips says that ten years ago he was a Farmer, Are Miss Huff and Miss Whallon going into the Milli- nery Business? If not, why do they size up the hats Th in the Clinic room so? Oh! an Easter Bonnet! I see. Dr. Way lcalling the rollb- Mrs, Davies. Oh scissors, let's cut up. Shurtz- Sl1e's absent, Doctor. I3I