Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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The Student's Plaint. If I should die tonight And in my clothes Should the goodly sum of Thirty cents, Left lying there Unspent In sweet repose- I say, If I should die tonight And leave Behind me in those cold Prosaic pants The price of six large beers, On draught, Unquaffed by me and destined To remain Forever on the outside of My frame - If I should die, And from the great beyond Look back and see That thirty cents taken And spent foolishly For bread 3 I2 Or clothes, Or some such empty thing 3 And those six beers- Long destined to be bought by Now spilled Down other throats, Their destiny unfilled 3 I say, If I should die tonight And go From here to there fOr where It doesn't snowj. And, looking back from there To here Behold Those six large beers- So large, and O, So cold l Go coursing down tl1e throats Of other men, 'Twould be so sad, For I would need them There I

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Do you think 555,00 is too much for a cab? Lives of Dental Students remind us That when we have passed away, Smiths will be on deck behind us, Running things in the same old way. Miss Callahan- Dr, Cornell, what makes thick shel- lac stick more than thin shellac? Because it has more shellac in it? Dr. Cornell- Yes, it sticks more, because it is stickierf' FRESHMAN CLASS MEETING. Miss C.- I move we have a quiz in chemistry. Romeo - I move and second it. Powell QFreshn1anj says he is sorry that Dentistry was the cause of him coming from the woods. Mr. V. M. Gregg says he has finished anical chem- istry. PATHET IC. The window was open, The curtain was drawn. A microbe flew in And our darling was gone. f'Do you prefer gas or chloroform? asked the tooth- extractor. I've no choiceg give me ether, responded the victim. I 2 TWO DIFFERENT KINDS. Does your typewriter need repairs? asked the mean- dering tinker as he entered the ofice. It would seem so, replied the boss. She just went across the street to consult a dentist. UNTHINKING FRESHMAN. There once was a freshman named Greening, Who fell down four flights without meaning g The janitor swore when he struck the ground floor, 'Twill take all the afternoon cleaning. SAID IT FOR HER. Did the dentist hurt you much, Elsie? asked her mother, solicitously. Yes, mamma, replied the small girly but he was very 11ice every time he did. Very nice? How do you mean ? Why, he always said 'Ouchl' before I could. NEXT IMPROVEMENT. Dame Nature ought to follow now The scientific train, And not omit, before it falls, To sterilize the rain. INCLINED TO OVERLOOK IT. Indulgent Fatherfdining in restaurantj-' 'I presume, Horace, While you were attending that dental college you formed the foolish and reprehensible habit of drink- ing beer? Son- Why yes, fatherg I just had to drink it occa- sionally. All the other students did Indulgent Father-'fWaiter, two beerslu

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THE TRACKS OF BILL. Bill jones he met some friends one day, And crooked his elbow j s way g u i s h t t He did it several times, and then He did it several times again. Before Bill crooked his arm his feet Made tracks l k t i, so straight and neat, i e h s But afterwards the tracks he made Were j s l s, all disarrayed. t h u i et k i FAME'S LADDER. top, and its then to come struggle down we again round, without after a Round stop! I2 TO YOU. Young man, you can Make a hit-be IT. It's up to you to do What you were made for and fed and prayed for So don't sit down and frown And groan and moan And wait-and rail at Fate- And speak of a clique Tl1at prevents events From coming your way. A sure way To invite disaster which comes the faster If you beckon to it-for then you woo it just say, I will do better than Bill Gr Ned or Fred or Ted, As the case may be. Because, you see, A thing's half done that's well begun. There's something you can do In a way to pay. Don't whine or grunt, but do your stunt, And after awhile you'll smile And say, I may Be happy yet. You bet ! To most men pretty ankles are more alluring than brains, which may be why girls display the former more than the latter.