Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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time, we take all impressions of the mouth in infancy prior to the eruption of the first set or deciduous teeth, models of which are made and stored away in large and commodious vaults provided for the purpose. Being thus prepared years in advance the patient is not required to call for a second impression, but can order TEETH by mail, phone or wire, and to avoil addi- tional delay we have purchased the very latest thing out in the form of an Automobile Delivery Wagoii with a guaranteed speed of 150 miles per hour. The various well-known impression materials, Plaster, Impression Compound and NVax, have been abandoned and impressions are taken only with the original clay or mud, imported direct by us from the garden of Eden. None without the signature of Adam and Eve being accepted, this precau- tion being taken to prevent adulteration or substitution of worthless material. ARTIFICIAL TEETH Are guaranteed to approximate more closely the natural organs than those used by any other Dentist, as immediately after the battle of San Juan, Santiago, and the destruction of the Spanish fleet our representatives were upon the scene and procured all of the available teeth to be found in the mouths of dead Spaniards, and to those contemplating going abroad this will prove a decided advantage, inasmuch as Spanish and other foreign languages can be spoken most fluently. VVhen preferred all our teeth will be furnished with the latest improved Morgan SL VVright Rubber Tires or Rims with single or double tubing, fully inflated, thus enabling the patient to talk continuously without danger of LOSING VVIND or becoming deflated--a decided advantage to step mothers, old maids or widows. Because of the fact that guarantees for a limited number of years are rendered void in the event of the Manager going to T -, we have decided to guarantee all operations and work from the birth of Adam to Eternity. Beyond this our future address may be obtained from St. Peter at the Gate. DON'T FAIL TO COME TO OUR GRAND OPENING. Spanish, Filipino and the Chinese Languages spoken, with a large retinue of Chinese servants and a French Butler in constant attendance. ICE CREAM and CAKE will be served by them FREE OF CHARGE daily from 9 a ni. to 9 p. in To those more bibulously inclined Mumm's Extra Dry will be served free by the French Butler, in addition to an elaborate menu of Limberger Cheese, Spanish Pickled Mackerel and Holland Herring. BABIES WILL BE VACCINNATED FREE ON BARGAIN DAYS! And a competent guide furnished free to conduct all out-of-Town patrons through the Museum and Library. Be on the lookout for notice of Mill End Sale of job Lots of Teeth, Fillings, etc. For the sole accommodation of those who are ashamed to be seen visiting our establish- ment in daylight, we have decided to keep open evenings from 6 to IO o'clock. CATCHEM AND CHEATEM, TOOTH CARPENTERS. TEETH TEETH TEETH I22

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isa an tberwi e Tinsley to Dr. Berger- Doctor, somebody Dodo'd my pliers. Wilsoii want's it understood that he isn't in the whiskey business, even if his name does sound like it. A new novel is now for sale at all bookstands, The title is Happy Herr or How is She. Highest degree in Masonry-Shriner. Three cheers for Kearby's ice cream pants. Quizmaster- Give treatment for mercurial poison- ing. Moyer- Feed patient an alloy to absorb the mer- cury. Lowry- VVell, Doctor, I have cut the rugae out of this tooth, what shall I do now P Dr. Carter- Nectar lemonade. Bill L -H Callawaba winef' Carterls is the Best hotel in the city. l i I 2 Motch Cin Orthodontia Lecturel- Doctor, is that a sub-marine appliance ? Dr. Cassidy- What is the source of turpentine P Craven- It is obtained from maple trees. Class- Oh, sugar. Miss Whallon to Dr. Berger- Doctor, let me have the ' faucets' to extract this lower molar.'l Phillips now has a steady job in the extracting room. He whistles Nearer my God to Thee while Dr. Berger gives the patients' gas. Percy studied chemistry, Studied long and late 3 Percy breathed some chlorine gas- He'll not graduate. Christensen, as Dr. Smith shows slide 437-H How many more of them things have you got up there PM Crawford uses expensive gutta perchag at least his patients think so.