Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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time, we take all impressions of the mouth in infancy prior to the eruption of the first set or deciduous teeth, models of which are made and stored away in large and commodious vaults provided for the purpose. Being thus prepared years in advance the patient is not required to call for a second impression, but can order TEETH by mail, phone or wire, and to avoil addi- tional delay we have purchased the very latest thing out in the form of an Automobile Delivery Wagoii with a guaranteed speed of 150 miles per hour. The various well-known impression materials, Plaster, Impression Compound and NVax, have been abandoned and impressions are taken only with the original clay or mud, imported direct by us from the garden of Eden. None without the signature of Adam and Eve being accepted, this precau- tion being taken to prevent adulteration or substitution of worthless material. ARTIFICIAL TEETH Are guaranteed to approximate more closely the natural organs than those used by any other Dentist, as immediately after the battle of San Juan, Santiago, and the destruction of the Spanish fleet our representatives were upon the scene and procured all of the available teeth to be found in the mouths of dead Spaniards, and to those contemplating going abroad this will prove a decided advantage, inasmuch as Spanish and other foreign languages can be spoken most fluently. VVhen preferred all our teeth will be furnished with the latest improved Morgan SL VVright Rubber Tires or Rims with single or double tubing, fully inflated, thus enabling the patient to talk continuously without danger of LOSING VVIND or becoming deflated--a decided advantage to step mothers, old maids or widows. Because of the fact that guarantees for a limited number of years are rendered void in the event of the Manager going to T -, we have decided to guarantee all operations and work from the birth of Adam to Eternity. Beyond this our future address may be obtained from St. Peter at the Gate. DON'T FAIL TO COME TO OUR GRAND OPENING. Spanish, Filipino and the Chinese Languages spoken, with a large retinue of Chinese servants and a French Butler in constant attendance. ICE CREAM and CAKE will be served by them FREE OF CHARGE daily from 9 a ni. to 9 p. in To those more bibulously inclined Mumm's Extra Dry will be served free by the French Butler, in addition to an elaborate menu of Limberger Cheese, Spanish Pickled Mackerel and Holland Herring. BABIES WILL BE VACCINNATED FREE ON BARGAIN DAYS! And a competent guide furnished free to conduct all out-of-Town patrons through the Museum and Library. Be on the lookout for notice of Mill End Sale of job Lots of Teeth, Fillings, etc. For the sole accommodation of those who are ashamed to be seen visiting our establish- ment in daylight, we have decided to keep open evenings from 6 to IO o'clock. CATCHEM AND CHEATEM, TOOTH CARPENTERS. TEETH TEETH TEETH I22

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IEETU, -- NEW YORK AND GI-lIGFlGO LIMITED. Dental Association! The TWENTIETH CENTURY Dentists have organized the above association for the LIMITED EXPRESS purpose of catering to the wants and dental requirements of all individuals who don't give a rubber dam how dental work is done, or by whom 3 just so the price is inconsistent with good material and skillful service. The manager in Charge, Engineer, Conductor and Brakeman are all full-fledged graduates of the most renowned Dental Colleges of the Old and New World fthe Philippine Islands includedj, and are the only lineal descend- ants in the direct 4' Mail line of such eminent scientists as Herodotus, 484 B C., and others -from which time, through all the dim vista of past generations, our Association and identity have been kept intact. From the ruins of Pompeii and the Pyramids of Egypt relics of our ancestral skill and ingenuity have, from time to time, been recovered, which, from a historical standpoint, establish beyond contradiction our rights and claims to Professional Antiquity. Our superiority thus established over the more recent and modern productions of latter day teachings enable us to DO YOU a greater service for less real cash, which we extract, by your paying, without pain, Free of Charge. Dental Catorphoresisf' an unsuccessful and abandoned experiment, has by us been supplanted by Hypnotic Power and INFLUENCE which enables us to perform all operations not only painlessly, but without your personal, mental or physical knowledge. The horror of the Dental chair is but as a dream. Being the original and sole owners of large Gold Mines in the Klondike Region and also a Silver Mine in Nevada, enables us to PRODUCE work requiring such materials below ACTUAL COST, and the absolute purity of the metals is fully guaranteed by a U. S. Mint Assayist, and because of Such advantage of our competitors, who are making what are commonly known as Hollow or Shell Crowns, ours are absolutely solid, cast in moulds in the original ingot metal. In addition to Gold Crowns and Bridgework we are prepared to introduce the latest Spring Style tdirect from Parisb of Window Crowns, including Bay NVindow Crowns, the Oval, Square or Octagon Style, with Beveled Edge French Plate or American Glass Fronts, as preferred by the patient. In order to avoid the rush incident to such unprecedented demand made upon our valuable 121

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