Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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I How Came the Dentist in Heaven. I 'When junky tired of life's turmoil, Had shuflled off this mortal coil, T'was wondered how that one so given To nameless sins should live in heaven. But this, Fm told, is how it came, VVhen llickered out this earthly flame, His spirit, knowing justice well, Flew down before the gate of hell. He knocked, who's there, the answer came, ' Dock junkeyl, sir, that is my name g He handed the porter a card which read, junky's Dental College, then he said : I have a beastly load of sin, So open the gate and let me inf, Can't do it, said the porter quick, Youlll have to wait, the devil is sick 3 For yesterday while making dinner, Upon a fat, ungodly sinner, He broke the largest fang he had, And has the toothache hellish bad. Hold on, says Dock, that's just my trade. I'm a dentist, sir, the best that's made : just let me in and sure as truth, I'll quickly ease the boss's tooth. IIO The gate flew open and in he went, Conducted to the devil's tent, Where on a pile of sinner skins Old cooty sat and ghastly grinned, Old serpent stooped and eyed him well, Then said he would make him king of hell VVhere unmolested he might rein If he would only ease his pain. Dock opened his valise and took His forceps out with knowing look, And bade the devil spread his jaws, And hold his breath and clinch his claws, Put on the pullers, gave a jerk, Out came the tooth, 'twas speedy work g But to the tooth, alas ! there clung, Full half the jawbone and the tongue g And junky says as recompense I'll only charge you fifty cents. The devil rose, he did not speak, Nor did he want to, words were weak g But seizing Dock he showed the skill The devil has of paying bills. With one wild kick done up in state, He landed Junky l' beyond the gate 5 And then it was the fact befell, He banished dentists all from hell.

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SOIIIQ SIZIIQ BOZIYG EXdlI1llldll0ll llQSll0llS. 1. Cab Name three kinds of medicine. tbl Should water be taken afterwards? 2, Caj Can a dentist sue a patient who has died during the preceeding summer for an old debt? Cb? Ex- plain proceedure. . 3. In dissecting a live subject, where should you begin to carve? 4. What is the meaning of the surgical expression, to shoot the hot air into his nobs ! 5. Give three reasons why the dental college should be closed on your birthday. 6. After an operation and before pulling a leg, is it necessary to administer an anaesthetic? 7, Which is the more nourishing food for convales- cents, Moerlein beer or old ale? 8. Cab What is the best brand of knock-out drops? Qbj How should they be administered? 9, In disabling a competitor, which blow is prefer- able, one on the inferior maxillary or one on the solar plexus? Io. If you were to End a person of respectable ap- pearance, with money and jewelry, lying unconscious in the street and there happened to be no one at hand to assist you, what would be the first thing to do? 11. Cal In what school of dentistry did you receive your early training, the Republican or the Democratic ! Q65 Did you ever study under Doc Blank? 12. Give the chemical name of the following drug compounds, to-wit : Ice, simple syrup, angostura bitters, one jigger of booze, ditto of vermouth, one cherry. 13. Are you in favor of the eight-hour day for jump- ing toothache? II2 14. tal What isa joint? tbj Give the location of Iack's Place. 15. Would you use your mouth as a chip-blower on an easy mark ? 16. According to the laws of hygiene, what is the correct poultice for a Frankfurter sausage, mustard or horse radish ? 17. Cal What has been your experience in the use of instruments? fbj Which is more highly endorsed by modern practice, a razor or the knucks? 18. tab Which brings a sore tooth around sooner, a raw oyster or a piece of liver? Cbj Have you ever tried Black's I. II. III.? I9 Is Schlitz beer an antiseptic ? 20. Do you use your knee in holding a patient while extracting a tooth? If so, what knee? 21. tab Would you exert yourself to save a man's life if you knew that as soon as he recovered he would go out and tell about your fillings dropping out? U25 Why not ? 22. To amuse a patient would you resort to tickling an exposed nerve? I 23, Have you ever been to Battle-Axe, Mich. ? 24. Cab Have you ever studied anatomy? Cbj How did you like it? 25. Describe the following parts of the human system: Caj A piper. Qbj The lamps Cel The mit. fdj Wild hairs Qej The slats. Cfb Ingrowing toe- nails. Cgj The listeners. Qhj The beak. 26. At post-mortem examinations who is entitled to the gold in the mouth?