Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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back yet. Always accummulating as much dirt und odderwise stuff on your instrumends as is a bossibilidy, vor der beople vill dink dot you have lots of busy days. Always holding your hands on as mooch monie as a possibillity, bud don' vos id such a stingyness, because you knows even monie is squeezed do dight id becomes quicksilber und quicksilber is hard do hold. In odder vords, der mercury vill vend down und you vill been oud in der cold. A few more vords of explosion I vill set pefore der vorks vill shut down is, alvays have as mooch dobacco smell on your close und hands und a bick chew in your mouth, but don't let any of id drop in der medicine. Dot vill ruin der medicine und you vill be do exdra expenses do id, by oddervise of id, pecause den der medicine vill not take der tirst dime, and you vill have do vaccinate der tooth ofer again. If you run oud of one kind of medicine und you're in a hurry, don' go oud after a new crowd off id, bud .N 4 .JH t JJ x XJ! 01? Xfgl F lift ,A f' L 'lf I use some off der odders. In dot vay you vos economi- cal Cvot effer dot isj. If you can't bull a dooth in der usual vay, use der odder vay, und if dot vay is not a good nuff vay den get Dr. Way. He vill surely find a vay. Vere der's a pull der's a vay. If a bum coming in do have a dooth extracted und he vants do 'bum' you for der job, use a leedle dynamite und den you vill explode der bum. He'll neffer come back. . If a batient geds sick und dies use a leedle limberger cheese. Dot vill vake a dead man. If you use Ethel- Cloride on some bashful lady und you can'd ged der dooth, use a leedle Pond's Extract, Dot vill break der ice. Hoping dot dese few spokes vill penyfit you in your go on careers, I vill close by danking your most wordy hand-stamping und feet-clapping vot you hafe extended. Shendlemens, I dank you. A. J, HIBSCH3I.XNN. I w ff ff! JJ 109

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g- file tolo by 'Himself 5 : 5 55 Bumbelsbaufersteiws Banquet Speech Before Q l ...iiI.I.iu ,, 5 Q Q Q Q the Graduates Q Q Q Q is izzzlzzz 55 ' f' III! 1122 55 I Illll un vm. 1- r I E VOS seated in a bunch like a lump spread oud, and each vone Q off der bersons of der insides of der room vas saiding a compli- Q mendary do der 0. C. D. S. und hoping dot id vould many years been conglomerationed dogedder, vorwards, hence, und so vorth, etcedra. Id vos do me dolt dot I vould been a speech, if id could been berhaps bossible und id bossible vos berhaps. Der toast-vaiter sait a nodding mit his hedt und nioshened mine names, Dr. Rudolph Ludwig Bumbelshauferstein, Esq., und before I knew id der excide- mend stood all over me in der Vorm of a night-sweat. All der hair stood on mine hedt straight ub on der feets. I begins der commencing und said : Shendlemens, you vas gaddered togedder here in a click, bud soon you vasnid such a click, JN' after a few bunches of hours. You vill sait so long or so short, as der case may been. You vill been separa- tioning from each odder avayg your eyes vill spring a leak, und your faces vill resembling der von in der comicle newsbaper of der feller when some von has dropped some limburger cheese indo his ice cream sody- vatter. After you ged seddled down und up, den commences der touching bart of der businex. Ven you touch der batients gife dem a gentle touch, for if you touch dem very hard dey vill sait dot you are a rough guy, und commences do call you ' Doc.' Und ven dey do commence to call you 'Doc' you hat bedder commence do do bedder vork or der machine vill bust. Ven businex is duff don' ged digested mit life. Prace up, und remember dot axim, 'Id is a long lane Vot gadders no moss'-plug teeth. Ven a batient comes in und asks you aboud someding und you can'd rememper id, just said, ' sure ' Maybe he'll coming

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I How Came the Dentist in Heaven. I 'When junky tired of life's turmoil, Had shuflled off this mortal coil, T'was wondered how that one so given To nameless sins should live in heaven. But this, Fm told, is how it came, VVhen llickered out this earthly flame, His spirit, knowing justice well, Flew down before the gate of hell. He knocked, who's there, the answer came, ' Dock junkeyl, sir, that is my name g He handed the porter a card which read, junky's Dental College, then he said : I have a beastly load of sin, So open the gate and let me inf, Can't do it, said the porter quick, Youlll have to wait, the devil is sick 3 For yesterday while making dinner, Upon a fat, ungodly sinner, He broke the largest fang he had, And has the toothache hellish bad. Hold on, says Dock, that's just my trade. I'm a dentist, sir, the best that's made : just let me in and sure as truth, I'll quickly ease the boss's tooth. IIO The gate flew open and in he went, Conducted to the devil's tent, Where on a pile of sinner skins Old cooty sat and ghastly grinned, Old serpent stooped and eyed him well, Then said he would make him king of hell VVhere unmolested he might rein If he would only ease his pain. Dock opened his valise and took His forceps out with knowing look, And bade the devil spread his jaws, And hold his breath and clinch his claws, Put on the pullers, gave a jerk, Out came the tooth, 'twas speedy work g But to the tooth, alas ! there clung, Full half the jawbone and the tongue g And junky says as recompense I'll only charge you fifty cents. The devil rose, he did not speak, Nor did he want to, words were weak g But seizing Dock he showed the skill The devil has of paying bills. With one wild kick done up in state, He landed Junky l' beyond the gate 5 And then it was the fact befell, He banished dentists all from hell.