Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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Cbe fable of Handsome jetbro, who l was Simply Qui 0ut to be a Dentist. ' N ILLINOIS SQUAB came home from dental college with a zebra collar and a pair of tan shoes big enough for a coal miner. When he alighted from the train one of Ezry Folloson's dray horses fell over, stricken with the crainp colic. The usual drove of prominent citizens who had come down to see that the train got in and out all right, backed away from the educated youth and chewed their tobacco in shame and abashment. They knew that they did not belong on the same platform with one who had been yenderi' in Cincinnati for goin' on twelve weeks Ending out how to be a dentist, by heck ! An elderly man approached the youth who had lately got next to rules of college. The elderly man was a yap. He wore a hickory shirt, a discouraged straw hat, a pair of barn door pants clinging to one lonely gallus and woolen socks that had settled down over his plow shoes. He was shy several teeth and on his chin was a Ji I 9 at? 5 ' . , , , a 0 'if '- - ii ii l lll il l l l ag t1l,ll,lll,lt t a iWmi lg a t itil I is i iw H lilll'lib all 5 .-.-.-.-...,a.a.,.,,f ,.,. 1WWIIlllllllIltllibIlllllllhmvllllllnllllinlblllmylviia-,t.uil IO2 tassel-shaped bunch, like a whisk broom. If you had thrown a pebble into this clump of whiskers probably you would have scared up a field mouse and a couple of meadow larks. Home again, jether, be ye? asked the parent. Yeh, replied the educated youth. With that he pulled the corners of a sassy silk handkerchief out of his upper coat pocket and ignited a cigarette that smelt like burning leaves in the fall, The professional man went home and the parent fol- lowed at a respectful distance, now and then remarking to himself: Well, I'll jest swan to guinney ! Brother Lyford came in from the East Eighty to get his dinner, and there was Jethro in the hammock read- ing a great work by jonathan C, McQuillan. Git into some overhauls an' come an' he'p me this afternoon, said Lyford. 'L Ah, rats! Not on your tintype! I'n1 too strong to work, replied Jethro, who had learned oodles of slang in Cincinnati, don't you forget it. So he wouldn't stand for the harvest field that after-

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e ie- M we no M Q P' WL . A' 'Q ee le r - . oin' to School. f t? 'fm rf ef e- sf W M fr s fe f? e i l IIBQ El. 3.l1blb5Cb!'l18l'lI1. When we were young in olden days, And youth shown with its brightest rays, When oft the question to our ear, By people that we held most dear : ' ' Where goin', Sonny ? they would cry. Goin' to school, was our reply. Five years have gone and passed away. Some are dead and some still stay To ask the same that cheered us so, In the days of long ago : Where goin', Sonny? they would say. Goin' to school for another day. ffm' 101 Ten more years have flown past, And the time is coming fast 5 The campus you then view, And again the old is new. Where's Tom goin' ? some one said. Goin' to school, was in the paper read. He boarded the train one Autumn day, To the college he was speeding away. Smash ! Crash ! A wreck, 'tis said. He was lifted up, and he was dead. Where is Tom ? asked the village fool. He received the reply, He's gone to school

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noon. In the evening when Paw asked him to milk he let out an awful beller. Next morningphe made a hor- rible beef because he couldn't get loaf sugar for his coffee. Shortly after breakfast his paw lured him into the barn and set on him, He got a good holt on the Adam's apple and choked the offspring until his tongue stuck out like a pistol. You dash-burned little pin head o' misery you, exclaimed the old man 3 goll bing me if I think you're wuth the powder to blow you up. You peel them duds an' git to work or else mosey right off o' this farm. The son's feelings were so outraged by this brutal treatment that he left the farm that day and accepted a position as assistant in a large and prosperous dental company. He especially liked this organization be- cause they were painless dentists--Jethro always had tender feelings--and then he had the privilege of wear- I i 4 ing brass buttons on his coat while he opened and shut the door for ladies who came and went, and handed picture cards to the passers by, He felt that he was particularly adapted for a professional career, and any- how, he didn't propose to go out on no man's farm and sweat down his collar. After ten years of unremitting application and studious frugality the professional man had acquired in real estate, personal property, stocks, bonds, negotiable papers and other collateral, the sum of nineteen dollars, but he owed a good deal more than that. Brother Lyford had continued to be a rude and unlettered country jake. He had 240 acres of crackin' corn land Call tiledj, a big red barn, four span of good horses, sixteen head of cattle, a likely bunch of shoats and a covered buggy. MoRAL-Drink deep or cut out the Pierian spring altogether. GRACE W. CA1.L-iHiiN, IO x 1 I