Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

Page 113 text:

Is There Anything Funny in That? What makes people laugh? lTis a mystery great g To solve it we struggle in vain. We see the new Junior coine out with his case And his engine-that demon of pain. It's his very first patient, that's easy to see, And the very sanie chair where our irst patient sat. As we watch his queer movements we all shake with glee. Is there anything funny in that? I By an unlucky turn, or a twist, or a jerk, All his instruinents fly to the floor. The poor, luckless student bends down on his knees, And the boys whistle, laugh, and they roar. Our kind Superintendent comes ,round to the chair 7 And gives him a call-down' both flippant and pat : And now think it over and tell me, I pray, Is there anything funny in that? 115 Soine friendly young student, more kind than discreet, At roll-call discovers his 1'OO11l-111?1tEZ'S not there g He gets in a crowd, and in sepulchral tones, When the naine's called answers solemnly Here I Then our Doctor Way, who's as keen as he's kind, Picks out that boy and sits on hiin flat : While the rest of the fellows stand round him and laugh Is there anything funny in that? -PAUL CAssrDv.

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.. THE DENTIST .. Wlio opens your mouth like a mammoth cave And plows your gums with a barrel stave And prods your tongue when it won't behave? The dentist. YVho stuffs your mouth with a bitter rag And stops your wind with a rubber gag And straps your head like a vicious nag? The dentist. XV ho finds decays where your teeth are sound And probes you deep in his glee to wound And leaps for joy when the nerve is found ? Tl1e dentist. VVho runs his drills with a wicked glee And shoves as none can shove but he And smiles as bland as a bad Chinee ' The dentist. W'ho twists your teeth in an iron pry And carves your gums like a steak to fry And grinds you up till you nearly die? The dentist. l , 1 II x Wlio loves to look on his forceps cold And grins as the cursed things take hold And jerks in a way that can't be told? The dentist. Wlio lays before you a hundred steels Vfith hooks and points that the patient feels At one brief glance from head to heels? The dentist. Who drops you down in his easy chair- To relieve your mind talks in an easy air- Then stabs you quick till it raises your hair? The dentist. VVho loves to have your free good will Before he feels brave to present his bill, The amount of which will surely kill? The dentist.

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f is of qua-A f 4 aa f spill for I Wing? is l . is f ?Xi 'itubiumsn anb Eoctors. A 5' FT s51f': r ' 5 4 f V f 4, 77 - -l..,,,. I X .1 6 X , - . af I- - DELLA, our Southern importation, was at her duties when I went into the kitchen. A married friend, living in New York, had invited our cook to pay her a visit. She accosted me with a shake of her woolly head, so says a writer in Harpers Magazine, who goes on to tell how the conversation proceeded : Miss Rufe, w'ile alivin, in Noo Yawk, Mafy she wants ah should go to a doctah 'bout mah teef. 4' Well, Della, said I, why not? You've been planning to have them pulledf, Suddenly a gloomy look came over her black face, and she said : 'A Ah don' know 3 ah don' know. Ye see, Miss Rufe, theyls doctahs 'n they's studiums. Ah might git in a studiums office? A studium ?', I repeated. Yes'm. Donchy knows ye has to be a studium 'fore ye kin be a doctah ? Oh I I assented. ' An, ye cain't tell 'em Look jes' like doctahs, acts jes' like doctahs, got bottles lround, 'n' chairs, 'n' 116 'YQ tables, jes' like doctahs. But, Miss Rufe -in a burst of horror- ef theyls studiunis they kills ye Oh, no ! I feebly grasped. Yes'm. Wliy, Miss Rufe, they has to kill someone or less they cain't be a doctah. They has to kill some- one, shuahf, Oh, no ! I foolishly insisted. Wliy, no 5 if they did, Della, they would be hanged Not down t' ma home, not down t' ,Gusta,', said she. 'Less they kills someone they cain't be a doctah, she insisted. I was dumb I had no powers of persuasion, no argu- ments that could convince her that she was wrong. ar zz: as Looking backward through the years of our college career, We are more than convinced that the old darkey was right. The great number of patients we have each of us half killed more than makes up for the essential one which she said we must kill, 'Lessin they cain't be doctorsf, -Editors' Note.