Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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The Home-Stretch Dash. BEING A LIVELY DESCRIPTION OF THE LAST OF THE FOUR GREAT HEATS IN THE SENIORS' FINAL EXAIVIINATIONS. OST XYorthy Reader! Oli the many human events V which take place on this chunk of matter known as Earth few, if any, are as marvelous in char- acter or stupendous in outcome as the one which I am about to describe. It is i11 the closing days of April that divers an- nouncements and bulletins proclaim the coming of the Seniors' Final Exams. Simultaneously begins the noise of active prepara- tion. Seats in the various theaters are vacant. The billiard-ball cuddles itself up in its pocket and enjoys a much-needed rest. Pretty girls, that erstwhile had the protection of a strong arm, and 2111 educated touch to guide them over the slippery places, go home from prayer-meetings alone. And the student's lamps Flicker low as they burn the midnight oil. Tremendous influ- ences are at work, that sooner or later are destined to stir up a direful commotion. At last the mighty day is ushered in. The clock in the City Hall tower strikes out in vigorous tones the hour of eight. The student body is assembling. Groups of Seniors gather together in the halls, to discuss the probable terms of the race, and plan a movement. Slowly, but with increasing symptoms, the whole fearful truth dawns upon the minds of a hundred valiant 1nen. And out from their throats proceed such yells as to shake the building unto its foundations, The motive power of the Institution is now in evidence. Champing at bits, and the trampling of hoofs on the marble floor, may be heard above tl1e rending roar of the tempest. The passers-hy on Court Street and Central Avenue, frightened by the strange noises and the swaying ofthe building, flee in all directions, believing that the world is coming to an end. The great telescope in the Observatory out on Ht. Lookout, wheels around of its own accord, and points directly to the College Building, to witness the rare phenomena. The Ohio River suddenly becomes agitated, and huge waves dash upon the banks with such unspeakable fury, that all steamers and river craft pull into port. Even the German Band, disheartened at being out- done, throw away their horns and take to their heels in breathless terror. One by one the terrible Seniors file into Taylor Hall and take their places. It is a matter of only a few

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If only a promise stands between Hnynie and wedded life. If the Juniors can take medicine-if so, they have a bitter pill to swallow given by Dr. Knight in their Senior vear. XVI15' the Band has been compared to the birds in the wilderness-Do their songs die without a listener. If progress is always improvement. If a preiniuin was offered for unznniabilitv in our Senior progranune strife. XVhy Burbank wants a fire-escape in his Collin. XVhy Diamond gets see-sick when you look at him. VVhy Caswell is such an expert germ-dodger. If Zeter thinks beer an evidence of bad taste, VVhere Stainper spends l1is Wednesday afternoons. NVhv Klarkel blushes when Madisonville is mentioned. XYI13' Strat feints at the sight of a barrel. XYhy Straus, Miss XVarniek and Klondike are synonymous. If Jordon can remove the Cause in a putreseent pulp. How Grant hvpuotizes his patients. tro XVhv If R. How users. Longfellow prefers Iiden Park Cars. D. Smith's face would n't break the Sabbath. many square yards of goods in Apfelbaunrs I 'D 59,-F? flier 2 , 46' ------f ft- ., ,IW

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moments until His Royal Highness will arrive, to an- nounce the terms, course, and time to be taken in the last great event. Let us pause for one brief moment, and from the Grand Stand fthe lecture platforml look into the COl1l1- tenances of the student body. Observe looming up here and there throughout the room the cheerful, nay, even exuberant faces of the Ken- tucky contingent. See the mirthful faces of the gay representatives from VVest Virginia soil. Look at the dancing eyes of the confident Hoosiers. See the excited Pennsylvanians. XVhat a careless air they have! Then observe the profound intelligence depicted in the features of the men of Michigan. See the expansive foreheads and hear the quickened breath of the dangerous men of the West. And mark you the serene, unclouded faces of the gentler sex. Lastly, note the restless Ohioans, and the high feather they are in-all eager for the fray. But now let us see what happens. His High Mightiness is come. The blackboard con- cealed behind the lecture platform is straightway raised, and the race is on. It is an event never to be forgotten. Distinct click- ings of wheels may be heard in all parts of the room, emanating from intracranial clocks. Teeth are ground together, both natural and artificial. Heads are scratched to induce a healthy working of the neurons. Feet are shuffled unnecessarily, swelling the horrors ofthe scene. The erstwhile cheerful and buoyant physiognomies have begun to change in iitful variance. See the slowly deepening fissures developing on that student's brow. See the ashy pallor, the heroic resolu- tion, the maddening ferocity, the frantic desperation, the cool determination, exhibited here and there. Time passes rapidly, as do also the professors in the room who are on guard. Now do they pause to explain something, and immediately in the farthest corner of the room a noise of clattering hoofs is heard, and then again all is silence. His High Mightiness, from his exalted position in the Grand Stand, now speaks forth: I tell you what 's the matter with you, gentlemen, you're scared. Go it easy, says he: but it avails not. Cold sweats begin to rise, and dire reflections. Now is the home-stretch dash, and the goal must be made at all hazards! There is too much at stake to lose? On! on, and speed thee! For what were all those nights of troubled dreams, and dusky days of unremitting toil? That we should fail? That we should flunk? NG I F P Beyond the finish line are banquets and bouquets, diplo- mas and a title. Perchance undying fame-who knows? And trips abroad, and a crowning triumph of three eventful years. Ah! ha! Ahf ha! 'Tis done, 'tis done. And the race is won. And now, O kindly reader, the atmoshere in the room is restored to its normal equilibrium, the College Building ceases to rock, the great equatorial telescope swings back into place, and the Ohio River flows on. as before, calmly and serenely down the valley to the sea. And the day is over. J, R. M.