Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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Amongst our many charitable donations there never was one more Worthy of panegyric than our liberal offer extended to the Juniors. As they had always shown re- spect to us their elder brothers as the head of the house, and we realizing that as they were to be our namesakes it would be unkind to disinherit them, and as they had not up to this time particularily displeased us, we made the parental provision of bequeathing to them our Ponies, charging that they ever be kept from the winter blasts. Here it was that an idea was conceived under Apfel- baum's stylish hat of shaving off his mustache and donating it to be used in mixing tl1e mortar for the new Avondale Flats, realizing that he was alone in such an offer, as very fine hair was only to be used. Ol you students with empty nuts, thankful you should be, to be counted a contemporary, that God has permitted you to breathe in our time. As a benefit for our Demonstrators, before taking our leave for the Christmas holidays and knowing that few matinee performances were witnessed by them, as their time was consumed at the College, we conceived and draniatized a one act play purposing to give a rendition in Taylor Hall using the juniors as subs. But they never witnessing a high-act tragedy refused to enter the hall and madly pushed the Seniors as they entered upon their theater of entertainment. Here our pugilistic qualities were once more displayed, for we furnished a novelty to them profusely illustrated by a mad rush headed by two of our Kentucky Braves with blood in their eyes intent upon challenging the insult: but at this moment it was again proven that our Hon. Dean has a XVay CT. I.j for his every trouble. He appeared in the door seemingly so touched by the pleading of the juniors that their lives might be spared, and we realizing that the walls would loom up splashed with gore, and that the College was short on soap, the class-rush was averted, and peace reigned among the agitated. XVe have never as yet been able to discover just how many were victims of the fright, for they took refuge in the cellar where their remains will be used either for disecting or fertilizer. That we have many attributes which distinguish us from any preceding class no one can deny. The many deeds that adorn our College days are simply intangible to delineation, no description could embrace them. It was upon one occasion remarked by a Faculty member that an exceedingly difficult task it was to refer to our attainments without sliding imperceptibly into the path of eulogy. VVe are happy to relate that through our eiibrts more has been done for the College than fro111 the work of any other class. XVe were responsible for the handsome lockers that furnish such a beautiful effect to the Clinical Apartment. Gur brains simply dazzle the minds of the Faculty, and they not infrequently point to us exhorting the Juniors to Go Thou and Be Thuslyf' VVe really be- lieve that the world will never behold our equal. XVe will be well qualified to discharge our duties when we launch out into this old world which has so long been weeping tor our society. XVe have all the varieties-men who are wise and otherwise 5 men who are all latitude and longitude: saints and sinnersg men who stand in with the girls, and those whose face would turn scarlet at their sight. Although not many ofour numbers have entered the matrimonial state, yet I might allude to a few who make suspicious visits to l'orktown's opposite, Covington. Hut even in this I predict a successlul end- ing, for in our catalogue there is no such word as fail, How can we? If the winters are severe we have the Coal: if the summers are hot we have the Poole: if we hunger we have an Appelnbaumlg should we tire we have a Rigtdonbg should we desire exercise we have a Ball: an hour of entertainment can be had from our trained Parrotg the vegetarians can obtain their dietary from the tBaumlgardner: for the shooting stars from Kentucky we have the Marklell g and for the unsuccess- ful germ dodgers we have the XYard.

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through: adopting as a cry, that, VVhere there is a 'Pony' there is a way, cT. I.l XVe paused on the threshold before entering the junior portals, to gaze upon those Darwinian Theories swarming in the laboratory intent upon wearing our shoes. They are Freshmen, and by their looks we prophesy that many are the farms that will remain uncultivated. Our Junior year has now opened with a spasm of operators, whose history is replete with the stories of great aclaievements brought to fruitage in the prosthetic field. Any one who is at all a student of Physiognomy would by reading our faces come to the conclusion that we had just been born a Junior class, the Faculty per- mitting us to omit the Freshman step. For who could possibly discover any similarity between our polished arinors, and the verdant Freshmen who follow, they who have a history for which proud distinction they boast. for we will remember that it was from their ranks that the German scientist discovered the Missing Link. This year was signalized by unusual diligence to our text-books from which we learned how to properly care for gold lswipedj. it being the chief attraction. For this we deserve special mention on account ol our clear visual perceptions and ability to avoid notice. I will here confide las secrecy was not requested ,f that several of our boys are very deep in society, at the re- quest ofthe Dean, but this was reluctantly received by the majority of thc class, they being intensely stndions and frilly appreciating tl1e fact that the inside workings of society are very shady, and they did not desire to see their colleagues at such a juvenile age clothed in the mysterious shroud ofdisappointment which is the apparel usually worn by the indulgents. XVe devoted ourselves very sternly to learning how to dodge chemical generations in the laboratory: and to see how very attentive Dr. Stern was to us while in there, lest we should in an ungarded moment, swallow some carbolic acid, or unconsciously carry away a test tube, was very sad. Especial attention was also given to idislcussing the effects of cigarettes: the many charms of our lady stu- dents: in figuring out how to pay our tuition, how to fill the minds of the Freshmen with Flunks: and lastly how to fill teeth with nine different materials in- correctly. So well was all this accomplished that even the haughty Seniors were compelled to bow themselves to the carpet and do obeisance. But do not imagine that these are all the attending instances that have marked our progress through this important period of our lives. We would gladly linger over those pleasant memories, but no sooner would the task of detailing our many achievements be commenced until we would be brought to a realization of the incom- pleteness of the English language. Have we words that can justly paint the artistic feats of Young la second Porterl for whose skill in drawing from real life, we bow in humble submission? As a proemial to our Senior pleasures was the junior examinations, marked by a lack of disorder. Not a sound could be heard in the hall except the heavy breathing of some of the students in a vain attempt at reading the minds of their neighbors. One of the num- ber being an amateur phrenologist, could not at his distance with his dim optics discover the bumps o11 the head of a prize student. He instinctively arose and advanced to his side, in an endeavor to get the wanted information. but he was by surprise taken, being the recipient of some unmeasured Anglo-Saxon words from the Professor who chanced to see him. The class was deeply offended, but decided that the best way to get even with tl1e Faculty was to return and complete their Senior year, and through semblance of individual opin- ion you nnd us X-Juniors, one round higher on the ladder that ascends to the plucking of Parchrnents. A proud station it is, and no class ever yielded to those claims with an air more regal than did we.

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Three years ago these Pheno1ns were shipped to the O. C. D. S. to be schooled in the art of dentistry, to whose mandates the world bows their grateful apprecia- tion. Never was there Il class who seemed better adapted to their chosen profession. who by instinct turned toward what was best suited for their growth and improvement, Hy laws akin to those which make the sunflower turn to the sun. or the willow to the stream. Once planted in their proper soil. it is with amaze that we note their progress- To see the weak brains, before deprived of food, throw forth their stickers and by increased nourish- ment burst into bloom and fruit. While the majority of the class surpass in intellectual attainments, yet truth compels me to say that we have some who are not such brilliant stars. XYhile most of us by meritorious acts bid fair to be fighting around the Pinnacle of fame, yet there is a possibility that some few will be janitors. preachers, chicken-thieves, and live behind the bars.C?l Now, dear classmates, if in any way your feelings have been wounded by an intended joke or by omission, pray forgive, for it is the weakness of the historian. You will notice that I am a coward, as in my remarks I have treaded upon the feet of our inoffensive students, not alluding to Brooks 1R. MJ, or DeHart, fearing their pu- gilistic abilities, or Grant and Huey for their size. Should any reader doubt our religious tendencies or the truth of any remarks here contained, I will suggest that if he is not a regular attendant at some Doxology Mill, that he imnlediately enroll his name and be pre- pared for the final judgment where all of our accom- plishments, Sllfl not alone those which have been related, will stand revealed. Our path now diverges, but as Flat would say, If we, must part let us go together. And as we together march from the corridors of O. C. D. S., immortalized by our presence, into the castles Cairl of the future, we sing in unison. VVhat shall the harvest be? XVALLER S. HERNDON. ag: -in if I5 if 4 ,R Vg 'un u 4' -Q7 Q:-4 Q s:,f:A: an ,ff klein' 'spain fm X 'Swv-YY? f gin: on ,off 1 C78 'nx- . ' if-i1z ff1 rv :IE nf .H,?:,vg,- j l my ,,a Q, -a -R :r 'sm . as . - 9 6, A-W., . ta I f ve. - fs' V V a ,ant 1 na- - ..J' 'W ..., ,,. , ,..... , A nnniinlllulr pn fr