Ohio College of Dental Surgery - Alethian Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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'A Do the 'pasa ma la,' shake yo' feet, have a good. O my, O rue, he shouted, dancing as hard as he could, while the hero clapped his hands and stamped his foot. A'AHail! Hail! the gang 's all here,' he sang. XVhy, where did you learn that? asked our hero, who had now regained his former cornposure. 'A Do you know that song? asked the old man. VVe sing it every morning at lecture. Where did you hear it? 'Why the boys used to sing it. when I first began to teach here. Do they still sing it? Do tell! Things do n't change in this world. Did you ever teach here? 'A Sure, Mike. I am the best teacher this college ever had. I do n't remember ever seeing you before. Let me see, there 's Mehaffey, McLaughlin, Porter, Taylor, Cooper, Higby, and- A' Well, they 're demonstrators, they do n't count, in- terrupted the old man. VVho are you? XVhy, gee whiz, man! Do n't you know me? I'm James Taylor, the founder of this school. At your serve ice, Sir. And with a bow and scrape, he introduced him self. Then he resumed: Seen anything of Dr. XYatt? Dr. XYatt I exclaimed the hero, his hair again stand- ing up. Have n't seen Dr. Keely, have you? Dr. Keely E That 's who I said. Drs. XYatt and Keely. N-n-no. sir! 'A Well, let 's look them up. IOS They walked along the lower hall until they came to the tablets erected to mark the memory of those de- ceased. Dr. Taylor's tablet, had been removed. and stuud against the wall, and VVatt's likewise. Keely! was still in its correct position Now, I wonder where Dr. XYatt is. See here. kid, he 's gone. A' Maybe, he 's down at Cliris'. XVhere? ' In the cafe, below. Is that place still there? Come on kid, have one on me. 'A No thanks. I can 't drink champagne. XVell, I do 'n't think he 's down there anyhow. He 's somewhere around the building, said Taylor. Then, where 's Keely? A' Keely has n't come out yet. A' Are they behind those things? A' Sure, Mike. Garfields in his monument, Napof leon's in his, Czesar's in his: why should n't we be in ours? 'A XVho 's Caesar? He was a dentist. Did he teach here ? 'AThat dub! XVhy, he did n't have sense enough to pony O11 examinations. He flunked. I should say he did n't teach here. Let 's help Keely out. He never can get out alone. Then he stood squarely in front of Keely's slab. and uttered these magic words: Apical foramen, gingivitus. mesiodistal-occlusal, nervolymphobillosauguineous, spu- tum. spit, expectoratef'

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majestic stride, he gazed sternly to right and left. The11 seating himself once more in the chair, he commanded: Let us have order, please. A short pause followed, and then he spoke the following: .-Xrink, Apfelbaum-- and so on for a few names, when he suddenly stopped. There is too much con- fusion in the room, can 't hear the response to roll-call. And he proceeded, clear down to Zeterg after which he said. This section ofthe class, would be on to-morrow morning 1FridayJ. Then he went back to Dr. NVay's oflice, and replaced the roll-book, but did not remove the blue coat. I suppose he forgot it. He ran all about the clinic-room, whistling, and ca- yorting like a colt in its first meadow. He waltzed out into the laboratory. turned on all the lathes. and secured them so that they would keep running, He madly dashed up to the plaster room, dumped the plaster all over the floor, mixed up a batch, and threw it out of the window. He broke into the vulcanizer cases, selected one, and stuck it into Ihr. XVay's coat pocket. The11 he mused: I have n't my hook here, so I can't read. I have n't my lantern here, so I can't show any pictures. Gentle- men. I don't know what to lecture about, I'll admit, but it 's a nice thing to have in your ofhce. So think I of this vulcanizerf' Then he galloped along until he had worn himself out. He lay down on a bench exhausted. But he could not rest. I have come out to make a night of it, he said to himself, and by cheese and crackers, I'm going to. Hip. hip, hurrah, Che-he! Che-he! Che-hahsgah-hoo: U. C. IJ. S., Nineteen two. lVell, he fooled around until it must have been three o'clock A. BI.. and as he was running down the lower stairs the hundred and sixty-eighth time, a human form stepped out of the closet that the janitor uses for a kind of sup- ply-room. It was the form of an old man. grizzled and gray. He was no ordinary man. He did not belong to this earth, XVhy you could actually see through his body. No, he did not scare the hero, he just convulsed him. The hero just gazed with eyes bulging from their sockets, fingers stiff, and straight, and hair on e11d. He thought of the days gone by, he remembered how he was scared of specters. spirits, and hobgoblins. The form approached him, and with an open-handed punch on the shoulder, said: See here. who are you anyway, hey? U I 'm a br-r-ber, I-I-I 'in l-l-locked i-i-i-in. Yes, you 're l-l-locked in. You 're a pretty mess. XVho are you, anyhow? VVhat 's your name? Are you a ClCIl1U1lSII'CltOI'?U N-I1-ll-HO-li L' N-n-n-no? Y-e-s T You are, too. Look at that blue coat. Your name 's XVay. No, it 's not. I b-b-beg your pardon, but my name is not W'ay. Are you a student? Yes, but I do n't study. Don't you? That good. Well that 's all right. then. I thought you were Doc. Way. Say, do you know you just escaped with your life? Ol how I hate dem- onstratorsf' he said, as he wiped a phosphorescent sweat from his brow. Then he clapped his foot once or twice on the floor, shook the mold from his whiskers, and danced as if he were getting paid for it.

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The slab fell off immediately. Ilr. Keely was seen within. He was amusing himself with a song: Hi ho, and a bottle of rum-Good morning, gentlemen. XVell Taylor, lend me your hand. Help me out of here, won't you? XVith dilliculty he reached the floor. IVith a very sober mien, he brought forth a bottle. Ladies and gentlemen, he said, I have here, some- thing that I wish to call your attention to. It is a med- icine. XVhile, I do not claim it to be a cure for all ail- ments, it is certainly worthy a trial, for the following atliictions: Chapped hands, chapped lips, teeth, ears- eyes, small chaps, large chaps, pork chaps, mutton chaps, burns, scalds, wounds, falling hair, hair already dropped, corns, bunions, worms, spiders in haymows, consump- tion. bronchitis, stomach troubles, that is, when the sal- vation glands do lllllf insist the indigestion, which makes a torpedo liver, or for any other thing you can name, and is especially and heartily recommended for the cure of tl1e alcohol habit. Gentlemen, this preparation is known as the celebrated Keely cure, called the gold cure on ac' count of the money it has brought me. Thanking you for your kind attention, I will now pass among you. fLoud applause from gallery! Peanuts, popcorn, chewing gum, and candy. Five a pack, drawled the hero. But Keely had minted, Taylor and the hero had to Rin his temples. Presently. he came to. XVho 's that fellow? he asked frantically. Look at that blue coat. ille 's a demonstrator, let me to him. Hair raising act by hero. I-I'I 'ni not a denxonstratorf' XVell that 's all right, then. I was going to kill you on the spot. One dose of Keely cure would cure you all right. O. you 'd never breathe again. just about this time, there was an almighty clamor upstairs, and was followed by a boyish looking old man sliding down the banister. Taylor and Keely cried out in unison: XVhy, here comes Watt 2 XVhy, there 's XYatt ! exclaimed the hero. Then they all started in on, Hail! Hail! the gang 's all here. Vl'att sang a magnificent tenor, Keely took second voice, Taylor had a most beautiful baritone, while the hero sang hasso-profundo. Then they all sang, Good-bye, my lover, good-bye. Then they had a fuss, because VVatt wanted to sing basso, when he could n't reach the low notes at all. VVhy, VVatt, you have n't met my friend yet, have you? Son-of-a-gun, this is lJr, XVatt. VVhat 's the name? asked the hero. That 's it. answered Dr. XYatt. That 's it ? No, XVatt. XV-ell, that 's what I want to know. O you silly! His name 's Watt, XV-o-n-gfh-t, VVatt, explained Taylor. O, now I understand. Now, what 'll we do? asked Taylor. Let 's play horse, said XVatt. Let's see who can sell the most cure, said Keely. I can beat any of you a game of pool, said the hero. Let 's take a vote on it, said Taylor. They voted. Every one voted for himself. No one won. Taylor did n't vote.