Oakwood High School - Acorn Yearbook (Dayton, OH)

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I li F511 PROPHECY OF THE CLASS OF '35 Time-l945 A. D. As I was walking along Fiffh STreeT one day. I noficed in fronf of a sforeroom a sign reading, Professor Alonzo, Forefeller of The FuTure. My curiosify aroused, I sfepped info The sfore To see whaT This greaT mysfic could Tell me of my losT comrades of '35. ,135 I was amazed To find TI'iaT The Professor was none oTher Than my brainy class- '7 mafe Bob Kaser, dressed in a baTh robe wiTh a Beckel HoTeI Towel wrapped around his migl'iTy head. His once dainfy musfache had now grown info a 'Q full-sized soup sTrainer and he had also acquired an undergrowfh of beard. T 4 As he saT before a Table gazing inTo a goldfish bowl and uTTering weird X 'Tai noises, I asked him whaT was his Trouble and he Told me wiTh much glee TI'iaT he had iusT seen in his so-called crysTal, our greaT class presidenT, Roberf S. S. Davidson, iusf receiving acclaim as The besT all-around aThleTe aT Sing Sing. He played roving cenfer on The fooTbaIl Team buT had To be changed To fullback because he roved off The premises. Karl Meuche, one of Bobs Team maTes, plays quarfer back and The magnanimous Mills coaches. The Prof. wenT on To say Thaf Hooker and Kim have seTTled on a liTTle farm ouT in Iowa noT far from Nancy KirkpaTrick's famous chicken ranch. ArT HeiTz is now employed as floor walker in Aaron Jacobson's second-hand clofhing sTore on Jefferson STreeT adiacenf To one of Brad SchaeTfer's Twin Diners. Brad, by The way, finally gave The girls a break and married Doris Boswell. ' Jim STrain is now The propriefor of The noTorious Club Hang-Over where Henry Newcomer, clad in his WesT Poinf uniform, does a Iiffle plain and fancy bouncing. The headliners on The floor show af The club are Sue MarTin, Torch singer, and The happy harmony girls-Vanderhorsf, Turpin, and Weaver, Guess where we found FasTy Landis, The old speed demon. Living up To his name as he recenily drove his rockef car, The LuneTT Gu, an invenTion of Randall CusTer, clown Dayfona Beach aT The speed of 605.09 per hour. The former Miss Elma Sfanley, affer seTTling wiTh her Tiffh husband, is now spending a quieT soiourn in The old maids' home, direcfed by STan Condif, whose moTTo is Always wiTh The girIs. Annie Laufenslager and Kay Parks are also enioying The peace and quief of STan's hospiTaIiTy. Joe Korek and Joan Sheridan have incorporafed and seTTled down wiTh a Beaufy and Barber Shop on Park Ave. where Joan Tries ouf her unique hair dress designs on Joe. In The sporfing world Felix Roche, has organized a professional basketball Team known as The Crown Poinf Flyers, composed of Charles Behm, Carl Shulfheis, Chuck Brehm, and Bill Schneble. Felix has been high-poinf man in every game, wiTh a scoring average of 3,2 poinTs per game. Jack HobsTeTTer's picfure is seen on The back of every magazine as The world's greaTesT sfrong rnang his name is kepT consTanTIy before The public by his business manager, Homer Myers. Jack says EaT BeTTy Beck's Bran Biscuifs and be big like me. The Professor sTaTed Thaf he had recenTly been connecfed wiTh Paul Feinerer's Medicine Show where Big Dick Norfon appears as The Tallesf man in The world, due To The splendid cooking of his wife, Chrissoula Economides. ln The circus band, under The direcTion of Lynn Crandall, Billy PeTiT pracfices his drums by beafing his wife, Claire Schumacher. JaneT Godfrey is using her charm on The snakes, buf she sTill has her same old aTTracTions for The sTronger sex, judging from The crowds of men around her plafform in The show: chief among her admirers is John Knoderer, who sfands bewildered for hours gazing aT her. Jim Rieger and Dorofhy lngle are known as The Man and Wife on The Flying Trapeze, performing noT only wiThouT a neT, buf also wiThouT Trapeze. People shudder, women scream, brave men fainT when Jean Leonard is shof from a cannon, as The final acT. ln The realm of music we find lrvin Zimmerman on a concerf Tour of The world, considered by all crifics, including Miss Mary Louise Van Horne, as The greaTesT living pianisT. Wifh him goes Miss BeTTy Jane Wiley, The silverplaTed soprano, rendering solos To The accompanimenf of Reeder's Rhyfhrn Ramblers. Page Twenfy- Two

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CLASS WILL lConlinuedl 4. The Ferneding Twins are lhe recipienls ol Paul Gus Feinerer's muscular developmenl lhe gambled a lhree-cenl slampl, and his abilily lo imilale Snozzle Duranle. 5. Belly Wiley leaves her inleclious laugh lo Belle Clemenl, while David Allick is lhe lucky receiver ol a pair ol worn-oul baskelball panls and a broken lennis rackel lrom l-lenry Newcomer. 6. Roberl Goon Kaser wills his deep and manly voice and his abilily lo make impromplu speeches lo Laurence Morier, and Anna Jane Leen and Jean Moss will lheir guiel disposilions lo Venila Slrain and Alma June Sabrey. 7. Chrissoula Economides' abilily as a public speaker goes lo Nellie May Wesl, and Jimmie Slrain's search lor lhe ideal girl ol his dreams is lo be conlinued by Kenny Pill. B. Sarah Jane Kimmel gives her inleresl in world allairs and educalion lo Marge Davis, while Roberl Grunewald beslows his unequaled lalenl lor ealing peanuls wilhoul gelling lhe seeds in his leelh lo Roberl Engleman and Charles Farler. 9. Thomas fNlvie Maher bequealhs a sel ol slighlly used lonsils lo Marlield McSherry and Frances Reed's job as a laxi driver goes lo Dol Prilchard. IO. Kay Parks and Virginia Brenner will a couple ol ankle bracelels lo Maribel Adkins: also Arl l-leilz bequealhs his knowledge on how lo handle women lo Jim Kunlz. Seclion 3. I. Leona Pill wills her uller indillerence lo Mary Louise Mallhews, while Sue Marlin leaves an old Chevy converlible lo Polly Frank and Virginia l-lumberger. 2. Bill Schneble, lhe lrigonomelry wizard, leaves his unsurpassed lacully as a ping-pong player lo Charles Wallers: while lrv Zimmerman's repulalion as an ivory lickler in Mr. Wimpy l-lumberger's Philharmonic Orcheslra goes lo Bill Byrd and Wilbur l-lall. 3. A lew ol Dorolhy lngle's poelic lhoughls are received by Lillian Feinerer, and Frances l-lirsch beguealhs her recipe lor loasled bread lo Frances Slade. ' 4. Charles l-layes' mania lor laking piclures is beslowed upon Roberl Grandin and George Langley, while Belly Beck gives her Garbo accenl lo Frances Canada. 5. Russel Wolle leaves a pair ol roller skales and a slighlly used loolhpick lo Solomon Maeder and Auslin Young: also, Enis Nelson wills her paslime lor wriling noles lo boys in school lo Nancy Newcomer. 6. l-lelen Ealey's explanalory lalenls go lo Eugenia Weber and Mabel Evans, and Louise l-leilmann and Nancy Paull will lheir exlreme shyness lo Gladys Manney and Dorolhy l-leadinglon. 7. Claire Schumacher and Belly Sloan will a couple ol blushes lo Jane Liming, and Mary Smilh's love lor hiking goes lo Jean l-lyre and Evelyn l-larlzell. 8. Barbara Pape leaves a pair ol high-heeled shoes lo Rosemary Lindemang also, Mildred Davis' and Lillian While's love lor sludying goes lo Marjorie Kennell. 9. Margarel l-lowe and Lillian Flealhman beslow lheir llirlalious ways upon Eileen Cornell and Barbara Beem. IO. Slan Condil leaves his besl wishes lo lhe iunior class as a whole wilh lhe hope lhal lhey will lry lo allain lhe high slandards sel by lhis illuslrious senior class. NOTE: The inherilance lax on lhis exlensive, voluminous, and sacred will amounls lo 5B6,000,000,000.00 and shall be paid by lhe recipienls. STANTON CONDIT Page Twenfy-one 14' 1 r:',:M,g..iw- Li' VX, V , - T C W' i T T'm 'fA'7':? ,-

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1 PROPHECY OF THE CLASS OF '35 lConTinuedj Our ToremosT oraTor, Bob Cline, is debaTing daily on The SenaTe Tloor Tor maTs under all cuspidors in The SenaTe chamber. Willie Sigmund, as page boy in The SenaTe, is puTTing his Track abiIiTy inTo use. The ProT. and I couIdn'T geT over The wide scope oT occupaTions and posi- Tions our old crowd had Taken up. Radio now presenTs such sTars as Toofs PiTT and BeTsy Brehm Taking The places of The once popular comedy Team oT MyrT and Marge. The Three H. SisTers -Hirsch, Howe, and HeiTmann To you-recenTly received The Allen Gong Prize on The popular Town Hall x program. Even Kafe SmiTh has been replaced by our own KaTe Lee. Probably The mosT popular announcer on The air is C. Wayne Hayes, using his high-school experience as a cheer leader . ' T .eeflf-Q. Jill Smilh, Miss MilIer's Tormer aide-de-camp, has now opened a business college over Caroline BurneTT and Jean Moss's candy kiTchen, The TaculTy consisTing oT Jean Moss, shorThandq Jane Clark, TypewriTing, and Dr, RoberT Grandin, D. B., bookkeeping. The ProT's crysTal revealed ThaT Helen Black has achieved Tame Tor her new book Heaven Will ProTecT The Working Girl. Mary Louise KarsTaedT, who has also dipped her pen inTo The old ink well, has arTicles appearing regularly in The Oakwood Press, now ediTed by Ossie KieTaber. HarrieT ClemenT, socieTy ediTor, wriTes The Tollowing noles in a recenT ediTion oT The local sheeT: QQ f Miss Carol 6riTTiTh, noTed acTress, has reTurned Trom a Trip To Xenia, accompanied by her privaTe secreTary, Anna J, Leen. 5 ,Q nQxw Miss UpTon Van RiTz, The Tormer Eleanor Kilbourne, is spending The week' ' Q-JK end aT The home oT Miss BeTTy Paulus in Podunck, Ky. fr Wi-lliam K. Cook has iusT been appoinTed head oT The A. A. U. U. A. A. U. U. A. by Miss Frances Reed, SecreTary oT Labor, an oTTTce newly creaTed by RoberT BelTon oT The Ways and Means CommiTTee oT The House. Helen Ealey, Louise Davies, and Vernon Reeves, who recenTIy joined Singer's MidgeTs, are now perTorming aT The Ideal TheaTer. DoT Lee Sullivan, TickeT girl, says The show's a seIIAouT. In looking over some oT The gayer spofs oT The Miami Valley we Tind ThaT Barrymore Reemelin is now proprieTor oT The enTerprising GermanTown Parlor. Helen Dahling jerks The sodas and Meem I-luTTman is cashier. The much-soughT-Tor Jean Soward has been seen aT The Parlor recenTIy in The company oT Russ WoITe, The local man-abouT-Town. The paTrons of The Parlor dance nighTly To The music oT Alma Sabrey's orchesTra: Virginia Brenner, saxophone: Barbara Pape, pianisT3 Mildred Davis, soloisT7 and Alma herselT, drums. Across The sTreeT Trom Prof. Kaser's esTabIishmenT we see BeTTy Sloan Tlipping pan-cakes in The window oT Lil HeaThman's Beanery. All The women in The ciTy are aghasT over Madame Burchinal's beauTy aids. Mlle. Virginia Dohner lecTures daily aT Elder's DeparTmenT STore Irun by DoT Lee by The wayl, while Lillian WhiTe's picTure adorns all The road-side bill boards, adverTising ThaT HomefSpun Complexion. The screen's laTesT maTinee idol, Louis Heald, appears as Louie The Heel, in his new under- world success, Muscle Bound, supporTed by a sTrong casT, lnoT plasTer-parisl. Nancy Paull has The parT oT The gang's Mall. Rev. Bob Grunewald has opened a rescue mission in The back room oT PeTes on Park Ave., in an eTTorT To save some oT The local boys from The cluTches oT evil. Enis Nelson assisTs him by playing The reed organ. il Q . 53 his Tire business Trom ruin. When phone orders were coming in, Marion iusT L changed The phone number Trom Main 3047 To DavenporT OOOO. Marion Low has been hired as an efficiency experT by her TaTher To save . on 5 I am deeply graTeTul To ProT. Alonzo Tor informing me so well oT my old comrades and I am sure ThaT Mr. ClaggeTT will be deeply Touched when he hears how well his Tormer prodigies have done ouT in The big bad world. Oh yes, I TorgoT To Tell you The depression ended The year aT'Ter our class graduaTed Trom college. v TOM MAI-IER. Page TwenTy-Three .:, f ' V Y V CNT ,.,4 12,531.0 1 ,T x, f .Ti e .'-T Q Q. .s ' .f. fa.. i I T i ini T' - I ii I. - ' 'ffl' Y 'UDV' I '1' I ' I II ' I '