Oakhurst Collegiate School - Acorn Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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This speech made Caesar tthe newcomerl very angry, and he challenged 'tCaesartt lst to a duel. Caesar lst took his challenge. Immediately they drew their swords. There was a great crashing of the orchestra, then all was still and all that could be heard was the clashing of their swords. Suddenly ttBrutus had a brilliant thought, HWhy not find out who the two Caesars were, before one of them was killed? The people thought this was a very good idea. The combatants were stopped and asked who they really were. Caesarit lst proudly declared, I am Shakespearets Caesar. gCaesar 2d still more proudly declared: uI am Wests J ulius Caesar. Then thequarrel grew hotter than ever as to which was really the HCaesar, an historianis nCaesar or a play- wrights ttCaesar. As they could not settle it peace- ably they went on with the duel, where they hadleft off. In the end Westis ttCaesarii came out victorious over Shakespeareis p00r,physically defective ttCaesar, and was puffed up aceordingly. But not for long. Another cry arose and in walked still another Caesar? Caesart 2d immediately stalked up to iiCaesar 3d and demanded of him the same question Caesarii lst had demanded of him. He asked, ttAnd pray tell, whose Caesar are you that you are competing with me? Caesar 3d coolly responded: I am my own Caesar. Then there was an awful battle between the 2d and 3d 'lCaesarsf, Finally Caesaris ttCaesar triumphed over West's Caesar. As tiCaesar Sdts eye wandered over the crowd he spied me, and pointed to me,crying, l'An outsider spy- ing on us. The dog! At her my men! Flay her alive! I was too petrified to move. All the men in the room drew their swords, but the queer part was that the swords turned into the books the men represented. Caesar threw a Caesar with such force that it knocked me down. uTwelfth Night,h Lorna Doone, Enoch Arden, Silas Marner, itThe Princess, and dozens of others were hurled at me again and again, and the worst of it was the books were as big as I. Pythagoras beat me especially hard with a ttWent- worthts Plane Geometry Book, because he had an awful grudge against me for not being able to do his proposition. Just as I was nearly dead the music gave a horrible crash and everything went utterly black. Then there was perfect stillness. After a while I gained courage enough to sit up and look around me. There were all the books they had thrown but they were much dimin- ished in size. J ust then I woke and found myself sitting up in bed looking at my school books on the table. Cautiously, I opened my Latin book, half expecting to hear ttCaesar 3d shout at me, but he didnt, so I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to sleep again. But even now When I open any of those books, this dream comes back with such Vividness it seems that it must be real. D. H., 1916.

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O begin with, it was more of a nightmare than a dream. It started out very nicely, it is true, but in the end it was horrible. It seemed as if I were in an enormous dancing-hall, with marble statues in the different corners, and great, green palms hiding an inspired orchestra at one end of the hall. While I was gazing at the room the orchestra sud- denly struck up a lively one-step and the floor swiftly became full of people I knew very well. The first couple that caught my eye was Julius Caesar madly one-stepping the ttPrincessH around the room. Next I saw HLorna Doone vainly trying to keep step with ttSidney Carton. Carver Dooneit was there also, dancing with 'tPortia. Brutus had chosen Lucy Mannette. Cassius, having scorned womants society,sat and conversed with Enoch Arden and HSilas Marner. Duke Orsino was getting really quite crazy about little Melissafi ttMalvolio was taking Calpurnia for every dance. Jerry Cruncher was entirely devoted to ttViolay, and she didn't like him very well, either. Just as I was noticing them, ttSebastian whirled by With Lady Psyche on his arm. THE SOPHOMORES DREAM j. I Mark Anthony, bound to get the hateful women, I suppose, got ttLady Blanche in a grand right and left and stuck to her all the rest of the evening. There were many, many more of whom I cannot stop to speak, although you would know them too if I told you. But there was one queer pair that I must take time to speak of, Pompey and the nLily Maid of Astolat. There was a quarrel between Pompey, HCrassus and itSulIaf and, oh yes, also the ttGracchif about who should have the fair Elaine for a partner. But Pompey had finally come out victorious. As suddenly as it had begun the one-step stopped and the orchestra began to play some terrible, warlike piece. The crowd stepped back to the edge of the room. They seemed to know what was going to happen, al- though I didnt. All at once they began to bow and exclaim, ttHail to Caesar! nLong live J ulius Caesar! Then entered a man, tall and straight, with the air of a conqueror about him, although his features were somewhat vague, who bowed right and left as he came. He was a very dif- ferent Caesar from the one I had seen dancing with the Princess. Could it be the same one? No! for there was the other one stepping up to him demanding to know why he was pretending to be the real ttCaesarii when everyone knew that he was the real one.

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