Oakhurst Collegiate School - Acorn Yearbook (Cincinnati, OH)

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24 THE ACORN REALLY, ALL THE SAME. As the railroad train was stopping, an old lady, not accustomed to traveling, hailed the passing conductor and asked: Conductor, what door shall I get out by ?it uEither door, Maiamj' graciously answered the conductor. T he car stops at both ends. WHY HE WOULD LIKE IT. The little son of the minister, at Sunday dinner, said at the family table: Father, I wish I could be ta doorkeeper in the House of the Lord: as you said this morningfl Indeed? said the minister-father, with a pleased look across the table at his wife. ttYesfi said the boy, nfor then I wouldnt have to listen to the sermon.U COULDN'T FOLLOW HIM. John? said farmer Foddershucks to his college-bred son, who was home on a vacation, hev ye noticed Si Mulletts oldest gal lately? Strikes me she's gettin, ter be a right likely critter, hey ?i, ttSheis as beautiful as Hebe, agreed John enthusiastically. t'Aw, shueksW grunted Farmer F. uSheis a blame sight purtierh he be. Why he ain't no beauty. She gits it frjm her motheris folks? USING H15 FRIENDS. A visitor from New York to the suburbs said to his host during the afternoon: By the way, your front gate needs repairing. It was all I could do to get it open. You ought to have it trimmed or greased or something. ttOh, no? replied the owner. KiOh, no, thafs all right.n uWhy is it all right ?'i asked the visitor. ttBecauseIi was the reply, every one who comes through that gate pumps two buckets of water into the tank on the roof. MOTHER tto hve-year-old Johnyejohn, everything I tell you goes right in one ear and out the other. IOHN e Maybe thatis why I have two. When a lawyer talks freely some one has to pay for it.

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THE ACORN 23 Dance, and by the gay dress of the folk. It is to be repeated on June Jeth, the evening of the Senior Play. Many social affairs were scheduled for the Senior Class during the closing weeks of school. The First of these was a tea given on the tenth of May by Miss Ellen Cochran. She brought together a charming group of about forty girls, with several of their mothers, Whose courtesies were pleasantly acknowledged by the hostess. Professor Burnam, of the University of Cincinnati, gave a talk at the school recently, Showing about thirty fac-simiIe manuscripts. His visit was an event of rarest interest, and even the youngest of his listeners gave close attention and enjoyed every word. CALENDAR Class Day, Tuesday afternoon, June 3d. Senior Play, Wednesday evening, June 4th. nCI-CELYS CAVALIER? By BEULAH MARIE DIX. CAST Mehetabel, Cicelyts Aunt .......................... Grace Dudley Nehemiah Saxby, a Parson ....................... Ellen Cochran Cicely Widdrington ............................ Charlotte Haven Major Widdrington, Cicely,s Brother ........... Dorothy Coppock Captain Carewe, a. Cavalier ...................... Eleanor Rogers To be given at the Parish House of the Church of the New Jerusalem. Graduation Exercises, Thursday morning, June 5th, at the Womanlr. Club. Address by Mr. Bliss Perry, of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Graduates: Miss Ellen Cochran, Miss Dorothy Coppock, Miss Grace Dudley, Miss Charlotte Haven, and Miss Eleanor Rogers. Post-Graduates receiving College Certificates: Miss Rebecca Haven and Miss Jane Raymond.

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THE ACORN 25 As a rule the plainer a theorem in Geometry is to a woman, the plainer the woman nWhy did Papa have appendicitis and have to pay the doctor a thousand dollars, Mamma ? KI11; was God's will, clear? IIAnd was it because God was mad at Papa or pleased with the doctor? HWhatts the diEerence between vision and sight? IIWell, see those two girls across the street? HYes. The pretty one I should call a vision of loveliness; but the other onew she's a sightW A SAD SEAL TALE. A mermaid sat beside the sea; Early she wept and late. IIAh! me! she sighed, Hard as IIve tried I caxft be up to date; For though I smoke and though I fiirt I can not wear a harem skirt. Maybe one has to dig for money because it's the root of all evil. uThe Christmas belles are peeling, remarked little johnny, as he heard a shoe drop in the guest room when sister's Christmas visitors were getting ready for bed, THE PARTIAL PIG. A Pig who to Hamlet was taken, Formed a theory that could not be shaken. nIn Hamlet? said he, IIA cipher we see That proves it was written by Bacon? ONE FAULT. FARMER BURR -- How do you like your new automobile, Ezra? FARMER ROOTrFWal, I canIt go to sleep on my way home from town, and wake up in the barnyard, like I could with old Dobbin m- Puck. A CHANGED MAN, IIAre you the same man who ate my mince pie last week? nN0, mum. I'll never be thI same man againww New York Mail.