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Page 26 text:
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Q 9 sw.. iw over shoulders to block out those Polo collar up - I play tennis, don't you? ,..- Boron racquet The ultimate in high performance. Double-handed grip - Tennis players never lift weights! tubbies madras - But of course! S Reserve tennis racket Hey, it s a Wilson! HOMO-CLYMPICUS Useful when recalling event over last twenty Coaches' jacket The ultimate alumnus Classes - Fading 5vision from constant glances at distant scoreboards. Numping Iron - The definitive source. Apple - One a day keeps the lactic acid away. Massive legs - Developed during jock years at UOP, Brooks - logs to chool daily. Dented cranium - From one too many collisions with soccer balls. Curled lower lip - Billy Idol eat your heart out! Y Ajax jersey - Where's yours? Clinched hands - Ready to do battle with more L than his feet. Patrick clears - For stepping on faces in style. Blue from past injuries. ffm..
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Page 25 text:
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s H How -IO O-SPIKEUS Proceed with caution can be fatal! - Exploding volleyballs Official CAMf BALL - To avoid ' K . confusion with those 1 X' , , X ' ' 0 W lowly intramurals. W . x 5 .1 2 - W? ' is . L, ,i i Taped hands - For 1 Q Kg, 5 the Rocky Balboa ' ' ' look. Flex-back elbows - '- ' - '- A Resulting from joint 1 stress of frequent c. , Dolphin - H - L A M M U 5 a Something to fall 5 back on. k-L' 1 GQ short haircut - X ' State requirement V for excellence in ASSOHE-'d lewelfl' ' basketball To dBZZl6 those 2 A opponents. y fi, Knee pads - For use , Zvhen waxing those . -- irty gym foorsl my and Still -X I X E, growing - Future - L. Manute Bol, 4. RM Different colore . shoelaces lred and gold prelerredl - 3 fl'-mgafed fl 'S9f5 ' Colo,--blindnegg From constant rim- induced by frequent spikes to face, Trick basketball sticks to any finger! I0 O-DRYHEAVUS 'jack LaLane, eat your heart out! Warm-up jacket - cover belly button exposed by outgrown tank top. Limber, limber, limber - Avid fan of 20 minute workout. Hind-tights - For that Flashdance Knee pads ' For Child-proof starting block - Guaranteed to voint you in the t direction. Tennis shoes - Track so confusing! socks - Desenex vust! Runners are always late for practice. Nike spikes, untied - hanging. Swatch guard - To opponent protection. Size 13 shoe - 4 I A Basketball players appeal! comfortably fitting -. QM , also make excellent any dvvf- - Skiersl 'it jordan Airs - For that extra lilr on the way up to the hoop. Acute sense of balance - The I ig- I -un 11 alternative to missed hurdles. HOW TO:f21 -1
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Page 27 text:
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Batting glove - HOBMCJ Receding hairline - From con- stant exposyre to helmet. The HLe 5 get Sun block - For one foflthe fending off G'PP9f look' I Mom's camera flashes between . A Q. lays. larry chest - ' ' t P ecretly hidden M - , 'nder half-shift. 2 Q.. f t, gf .-. Official practice jersey - Washing ..f, optional. gfkfn - Key as w e wmponent of A ' chipped helme' 'me' -, I if V . -f? '- - Veteran of gf? ' f ' mtg numerous 564 -4 adventures in lmemus pads I Gumbey Land'f for looking . Y' , , 'fied' Z Mouth Piece - K Dumb bells - A must for any Conan. Perrier Earth's first soft ul it Portable germ farm. Mud-stained pants - Residue from El Camino scum. . 5. . , ' H uf.: Gatorade - Borrowed from track team. Sunglasses - For catching those game winning Pop Ups. - Soccer players are so trendy! Big Gulp - To kill time in right field. ' back - obtained from numerous bicycle kicks, Skeletal damage Official Pete Rose Rawlings glo ve. ther ankles. Ndidas Bag - For carrying the latest equipment and clothing. HOMO-PITCHUS Dilated pupils - From watching too many curve balls. To take the sting out of the game. U 3 Sports bag - Containing Mike Schmidt and Bill Goodman baseball cards, Bazooka flghts - Look at bubble gum. World series ticker stubs. those sexy legs! -1-Socks - Smashed down to protect Two bats - For added weight lbought at Big 5 2 for 1 sale! Sunflower seeds - nr real baseball players only'
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