Norway High School - Caduceus Yearbook (Norway, ME)

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THE CADUCEUS 23 spades and various other implements, went out and excavated a few skeletons. Then l went home, CI live nearbyj, and got some strong wire, strung it from the top of the steeple, and anchored it to the base of a gravestone. We then dug up a few more skeletons for a stage setting, and I must say we were scared, because it was the first time we'd ever robbed graves! l stood one old bag of bones behind a door to keep it open. It was very pictur- esque. Next I sent Bones for two five cent cigars, to be put into the mouths of two of the skeletons. We also secured some can- dles, and an old fog horn fused on the arkj , an alarm clock and a violin, also some sheets and a bottle of red ink. We sent word for Billy's brother, Simeon, to come. VVe nominated him property man. As soon as Bones returned, I dressed him up in the sheets and poured some of the red ink over him. I melted wax on his head and stuck a lighted candle on it. Bill struggled some at this last, but if I do say it, I can handle William Erastus Bones any day. Well, we were soon prepared for a first nighter. It became dark, and weird, eerie noises were heard all over the tumbledown place. We all felt a little shivery, I think. Soon four people came in. In the even- ing the church was very often used as a lovers' retreat. Soon two more individuals came in. I thought this audience large enough for a beginning, so I motioned to Simeon to start the fog horn. Those of the female species started screaming. Simeon shut it of Then he began to make a few discords on the violin, not loud, you know, but like the soft, mournful wailing of a spirit. As I could see that our uninvited guests were growing uneasy, I dared not delay tl1e main attraction. I lighted a candle and hurled it across the room. The folks thought it was Tinker Bell come back to lil' e. Over the church organ, I had already sawed a hole through the roof, to which Bill and I now mounted. I tied a cord around his waist and let him down. He began to moan. VVith the alarm clock under one of the sheets, he gave a line imitation of a death watch. Bill flapped his arms and out ran the audience. I then climbed to the Steeple and let out a whoop. Of course everyone ,turned to look. I slipped one of the skeletons down the wire. It surely looked uncanny, with that five cent cigar burning. tliater Bill Hnished it.j How those lovers hur- ried to leave l Of course this created a great sensation and at last reached the ears of old Johnny himself. He notified the press that he and a few other fogies would pay us a visit. Well, the great night arrived and every- thing went as before, until I let Bill down through the hole- in the roof. One of the old dutfers with Johnson, a fellow by the name of Nelson, thought it was the spirit of his first wife. He ran out to embrace the ghost, and too late I tried to pull Bones back. Bones dropped and fell into Nelson 's arms. Of course we were now discovered and our pictures and history oeupied the front pages of all the morning papers. But I realized my ambition-Cummings hired me and at present I am playing the lead in The Arrival of Kitty. i -Carroll, '30. The Complaint of a Fountain Pen I'm not very old-only seven months, but Iim ready to go to the world beyond right now. Maybe I haven 't had a hectic time! If not, no one ever did! VVhen I first opened my eyes, I knew my life was to be one of hardships, for the first thing I felt was five tough fingers slam-

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22 TI-l lil CADU CE US 4-amp to get t o horses for the captives to ride on. After the girls reached the captives and had placed the men on the horses, Mr. Downes arrived with the police force. The men took charge and dismissed the girls and Billie, after praising them for their efficient work. When all was set right, Betty received tl4l0,000e-the reward for the capture of the two men who were escaped convicts from the state's prison. Betty, believing that the horses had played an important part in the affair, turned the money over to Mr. Downes to improve the riding department of the camp. But Mr. Doa nes would accept but half. for, after all, Betty had rescued his only son from icing kidnapped! -Corbett, '31. Notes from Ira Smith, Cub Reporter of the Chicago Times I visited the court of King Arthur and found him at the field of tournament having a, mock battle with Sir Lancelot, his favor- ite knight. After the combat was over, I walked up to the King and said, Your Majesty, would you give me an interview of yourself and your court? The King said, Young man, if you real- ly want an interview, come with me to my court and I will introduce you to my knights and tell you of the designs on the shields. K The first knight to whom I was intro- duced was Sir Lancelot, he had a roaring limi pictured on his shield to show that he was a fighting demon. CBoy, that guy could certainly fightlj Then I met Ger- aint, a handsome young knight, but more courageous than the flying Aces in the Great War. I was introduced to many a young knight and was invited to eat. CBoy, but we had a swell dinnerlj After diner, I left the castle but before I left, the King said, Milly boy, if you come Monday, I will give you a story of the week-end tournament that will blind your city editor. CEditor's note: slang permissible to re- porters of Chicago Times .D -Ira Smith, '32. The Cock Lane Ghost The other night, as I was walking down Cock Lane, I noticed what a fine place the old church would be for a ghost scare. These scares occur here in London about once in every two years, and are always followed by sensational write-ups in the papers, in- cluding the pictures of the participants. As you all must know, I am an actor. Only that very morning I had been to see of the Drury Lane Theatre But he logically replied that the manager about a job. I wasnlt well enough known and therefore wouldn't be a good drawing card. He told me that if, by any means, I could get my name and picture in the papers, he would make me. Imagine being made by Cum- mings! I'd be a star all my life! So I said to myself that I 'd have to manu- facture some means of getting my name and picture in the papers. For once I had a brilliant thought. Why not impersonate a ghost? If I can't, no one can. In town there's an old codger who has the gout and other minor ailments, but he surely rules the high-brows. Also he 's as homely as a hedge fence. If I could get him interested in me, I might get my picture in the papers next his! Imagine being pic- tured next the great Dr. Samuel J ohnsonl Also the contrast would be so great between his face and mine, that I would surely get into Drury Lane. Now you know the old ramshackle build- ing f 'twas formerly a churchj is occupied no longer. Accordingly I planned to use it for a ghost scare. Behind the edifice is a run-down graveyard. One night my friend. Billy Bones, and I, with a few

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24 THE CAIJUCEUS ming me around as though I were made of They pushed me into an old tray sort of thing that rolled along and first thing I knew I fell into a long, white cage with a cover on it. It was all dark and gloomy, and, oh, so close !-not a bit of air anywhere. Later I found out the thing was called a 'box', and, believe me, you never want to let yourself get caged up i11 a horrid 'box'. t'Then one day someone took the cover off and I could breathe at last. Wllen I looked around, I saw many other pens be- side me and people passing by, looking at us. This was preferable to the old box, but it was noisy and confused, and I didn 't get a bite to eat! People would look me over and handle me, saying, 'Oh, that old black thing-not that! There's a much nicer one over here.' Finally a little boy with a dirty hat, grimy hands, and ragged shirt, came and grabbed me up. Soon I was stuffed into a, little cave with a mass of nails and string. I found this cave was called a 'pocket'. After a few days, he stuck my head into a bottle and opened my mouth wide. I drank all I wanted. Gee, it seemed good to get my stomach filled up! I was so hap- py I thought I'd be kind to this chap. I worked like a Trojan all day long, but he was hateful to me. He crammed my cap on over my ears so tight I could hardly hear. Then he jammed me down into a little corn- er of that pocket cave and piled papers and cloths over me till I was nearly stiiied. He didn 't feed me any more or even give me a bath-just kept me there in the dark all the time. iron ! One day he swapped me for an old jacknife, with only half a blade! I never was so mortitied in all my life as when he set me beside that knife and said, 'It's a bargain'. My new owner is even more cruel. He slams me down every 11igl1t after Iive been banged around and worked hard all day. My teeth are dull 11ow, and, as he won 't get me any new ones, I just scratch, scratch, scratch, and he wonders why! He only feeds me half ink-puts water in it to make it last longer. Oh my poor stomach! Every day I go over a great big bridge with him and some day I'm just going to jump out of his pocket into the water be- low and that will be the end of me as far as he 's concerned ! -C. E. Longley, '31. The Great Detective Jimmie, the Great Detective, sighed as hc looked at his false whiskers. If Aunt Jane only would go homeli' His ideal was Sherlock Holmes, and he wished to imitate him, but how could he with his aunt there? Aunt Jane was a tall, thin woman. She wore spectacles on the tip of her nose, which made her look still worse. She was a very superstitious old lady, fussy, and hard to get along with. She always hoped to get some message from her dead hus- band. Her unexpected appearance had saved the Great Detective from a scolding, how- ever. He had been sent to the bank to de- posit the money just received on his 10th birthday. On the way, he had met another hopeful detective. Come on over to my house and I'll show you something awfully important in your business, Jimmie,H said Johnny. This proved to be a skeleton. Of course Jimmie bought it. His parents forgot to scold him in the excitement at Aunt Jane 's arrival. But everyone, including Jimmie, always referred to the skeleton with horror. They called it the H Thing. Aunt Jane had a habit of prolonging her visits indefinitely. She always cautioned Jimmie about wearing his rubbers, and not eating too much. She even stopped his