Norton High School - Nortonian Yearbook (Norton, OH)

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Prophecy BI-YEARLY REPORT Time: I3 o'clock Date: The year 2000 Place: Somewlxre in outer space Space Cadet: Dorothy Denning lt all began on lhrs. The weather was sub-zero and if it hadn't been for my new electro-geofonic stupefier I would have frozen. The stupefier is an invention of the famous scientist Alex Wasil. I donned my rainment, consisting of space boots and suit and trekked over to Planet Headquarters. The commander, Walter Lloyd, greeted me and gave me my next inter-planetary assignment. Strange, glowing footprints had been found on the terra of Loba Lova.....:p.my job...get to the bottom of it all. I bid the commander loo toodle ltoodle loo backwardsj and then stopped at the supply home to pick up a few essentials from Bill Kennedy, the cadet who runs the house. QTNT, -toothpicks, sugar corn pops, etc., little things every cadet neechJ I then took a jet-propelled Warner cab KPhyllis is the consolidated capitalist of the cab industryj and made ready for the trip to Loba Lova. I rang for room service and the bell-girl, jo Anne Wallhrown, brought me my bill. Fifty cemsl I realized that was rather cheap, but after all the owners were friends of mine. Marilyn Sholley, Sarah Van Hyning and Lorna Fairbee had bought the Hilton hotels, but only on one condition....that Nicky Hilton come with them! I gave jo Anne a space dugat as a tip and then went down to the dining room for lunch. I was just in time for the hotel's show. The Belle of Mars, jane Hickle and her troupe: Beverly Lott, Katllyn Byrd and Alice Lydic were just starting their act. It is reported that they have so much rhythm in their feet, they put their shoes on with a French horn. Ernie Kiminecz and Pat Harter were doing a magic act. Ernie was trying to make Pat disappear. The waiter, Paul Kuivinen, took my order fstarfish and fried squib with a space float for dessertj. I ate hurriedly and then went to the landing field to catch the seven o'clock rocket for Loba Lova. I bought my ticket from Blanche Jeffreys and then quickly found a seat.I had something very im- portant to read. I was a whole week behind on that famous comic strip, Pogo, from the United States. It has been altered a trifle thoughg instead of Albert the Alley-gator to help Pogo, -there is a chap named Larry Neitz. just as I settled down to read, I heard a scream and the alarm rang. Duty was calling or should I say ringing. I hated to leave Pogo and Larry, but I ran to the control room. There they were..:.glowing footprints all over the floor. The pilot, Ernie Wathey, was trying to calm the poor stewardess, Alice Boss, who was practically in hysterics. I contacted Mus to have five cadets waiting for me when I landed and then went back to the pas- sengers to see if I could get some clues....Strange things were happening! The first one I interviewed was Lyle Saenger, the famous author of Ten Easy Ways To Flunk A Course. He said he would be glad to help me, but he knew as he put it, Nothin' ....Sitting behind him was Janice Tilson, the famous telephonge star of FOREVER FEMALE. just before the hell rang, she had seen a strange glow in the control room. My first clue!

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BEST LOOKING MOST LIKELY T0 SUCCEED In -I-uso. gm yggu Judy Groom Walter Lloyd BEST DANCERS Donna Mons John Greene BEST PERSONALITY LAZIEST Bl! Stiles Ruth Walters Jo Ann, Wallbrown Troy Parks

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The president of the NFLA fNational Free Loaders Associationj Troy Parks, was aboard the rocket, but he couldn't help me. He did get my last Milky Way candy bar, though. As I started back to my seat I heard clapping. Four puppeteers, Punch Paolano, Judy Haw- key, Kukla Krska and Ol1ie Ondo were showing the passengers their respective talents. Punch is ijust as pugnacious as ever! The rocket soon landed and I was confronted by five miserable excuses for cadets. There was Troy Anderson, an ex-marine, although I must admit he is likeable if you give him time fand that is wlnt he is usually doingj along with Tom Haynes, john Miskie, and Ronnie Stamper wkh a portable card table. It is a well-known fact that they are eucher addicts. Last but not least, Richard Mildew Milliron, the palpitaring heart throb of the kindergarten set. In spite of their short comings, they proved an amiable lot. We made hasty plans to meet back at the rocket at eleven o'clock. We then separated. I saw a faint light flickering in the distance. Something seemed to compel me to come closer. As I drew nearer, it suddenly went out. A hand was laid on my shoulder! Fear gripped my supersonic heart and I stared into the face of ..... Fred Ferry, the crime syndicate leader. He warned me to get out of space and then vanished around the building. Friendly people these Martians! I was still trembling as I made my way to the skid row of Loha Lova. I passed a dingy dive, 'where mellow music was drifting up towards the street. I fought my way thmugh the smoke and sat down, ordering a ginger ale ..... straight, from the bttender, Allan Ballard. Leonard Blair and his Space Cats were featured there. Fred Wheeler was playing a mean saxaphone, Milan Trubatch, the bass fitklle, and Mary Lou Echard, the tambourine. I was just sitting there musing over my progress on the footprints case, when two hard guys, Dick Cookie Csuhta and Bob Babo Baysinger closed in on either side of me. They talked in monosyllables, because the ace detective, Ford White, was sitting across from my table. They told me that if I wanted a hot tip I should go to the AtomicEnergyFactory at midnight. They also said that their boss, Shirley DOLL FACE Culp had her eye on me. It seems Doll Face is in a little trouble. She is up for a murder rap. Beverly Ingersoll the Underworld Queen was trying to muscle in on Doll F ace's territory and she had her ace torpedo, Patty Philips, rub her out. They aren't too worried though, because they have the famous criminal lawyers,.Roy Spring-em-quick Kisor and Long Term Lance on the case. Not to mention that the case is coming up in front of the crooked judge, Mack Smith. I thanked them for the bit of news and went out to the street. A news-girl was yelling EXTRA and I called her over. As she handed me my paper, I recognized Patsy Boyes. She told me June Bone Crusher Sidwell was having a tag match with the terrible terror from Mars. Patsy seemed rather nervous. I hear her boss, Kenneth Guthery, the editor of the Daily Blah is hard to please. On the front page, there was a picture of the Mayor of Mars, Stanley Fudala I-le is planning a clean up campaign. Janine Lewis and Loa Mae Klase are head of the detail department. They pick up all the details on Main Street. We'call them street cleaners back in Akron! There was a write-up about the famous test pilot, 'Donna Wilmoth. Donna and jerry Allman, the golden gloves champion, were helping Mary Hannah, -who is the head of Mar's City Hospital, in her campaign for blood. Sandra Sagadencky and Betty Thayer, the world-reknowned girl hockey players are opening in Jupiter again. Also appearing is Sarah Jane Powell, Akron's answer to Gene Krupa. I-'at Pztridge is the chemist who invented strepto-ino-mio-sypin, a drug that cues everything from colds to ingrown toenails. Shirley Darmstadt was committed to the Mars State Mental Hospital. She lost her mind trying to put a.bag on David Thomas.