Northwestern University - Syllabus Yearbook (Evanston, IL)

Page 34 text:

Once upon a time in the fairytale land of Northwestern, as all such stories begin, many people were turned into oinkpigs, moocows and croakfrogs one night. The problem was that no one knew who turned into what or if they ever turned back, though the wise old Wizard Gregory urged them to fight the noble battle and he blessed them and they took heart. Anyway, the next night a blond prince appeared on stage (as if by magic) and spoke inspiring words to the people (or animals). And some of them came and joined him to await the arrival of Hairy Sir Jerry who danced and chanted magic spells and aroused the people (or animals). Well then, along came the noble Sir Michael who had returned from the crusade to lead them all away to the magic New Leftla nd. And he stirred the hearts of all the pretty coeds and left them swearing him allegiance. But lo! the next night a Black Prince (Claude, as it were) appeared and spoke of unhap- py things to the people (or animals). But the people booed and hissed and some of them walked out on him. Well, believe it or not, on the next night two more princes decided to try their hands at healing what ailed the people (or animals). One was cool and collected Lord Tom of the meg- aphone and the other was King Mike of the cycle jocks (of a foreign land unknown to North- western). The people listened. So after all these princes and other notables had appeared in the fairytale land, quite understandably, the people were rather perplexed. They did not know which one spoke truly true eternal truth. They wondered and wandered and turned one way and then the next, but to no avail. Happily, however, a Great Prophet came charging into the land. He was Sir Civil Engi- neer and he held the key to the Status Quo. At the last minute he saved the people (or ani- mals) and they slipped quietly back into the fairytale land of apathy. 30