Northwestern University Dental School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Evanston, IL)

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At length he was all dressed, his hair parted with precision and exactness, and when he went downstairs to dinner the assembled multitude fairly had to gasp in admiration. Of course Dr. Brandt tried to appear cool and unconcerned. and, in truth, he succeeded very well until he lifted up his napkin and discovered a postal card, which contained the following: . Chicago, Ill., Dec. 22, tooo. Dear Carl :- UI am so sorry to have to' disappoint you to-night, but l am unwell and can't possibly go to the dance with you. W'ill see you next Saturday night at the dance. Until then, Carl, dear, I am. As ever your, . 1-f' A Turning to the waiter, the Do-ctor asked when the postal card had been delivered and was told that it was left at the noon delivery, whereupon the Doctor, in his great disappointment, unwittingly re- marked: Shoot it: if I'd known that I needn't have taken that bath nor darned them socksf, VVhen yo-ulre co-urtin' in the library, And actin' up like sin, A foolin' an' a jabberin' An' raisin' such a din, You'd better watch your manners, And cast your eyes about 5 You'll promptly find yourself called down If you don't Wfatch Out. Our Troubles Ch, maiden fair, where'er you appear The demonstrators all Hock 'round. To win your smiles, or strive to please. Compliments to y-ou they propouud. For v-ou we must wait and wait. Till the hour grows quite late. For our work they will inspect Xllheu to you they have paid their respects. 135

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Dutcffs Disappointment p , Not long ago Dr. Carl iRudolp-h Brandt, commonly called Dutch, and also known as Champion False-Tooth Scalerf' met a very pretty blond at a dance and became very much smitten with her. ' Evidently the attraction' of the two was mutual, insomuch as they danced nearly every dance together, and before the evening was over a date was made for a dance on the following Saturday night. Now, as Dr. Brandt always wants to make a favorable impres- sion with the ladies, and especially so in this instance, he thought it a good sche-me to ask so-meone well versed in social etiquette just how he ought to tog out and appear to the best advantage. After, thinking so-me time, he decided that Strong, c-o-unter- jumper for S. S. Wliite, was the proper person to give him the de- sired information, so he sought out Strong and stated the case to him. . . Witli much deliberation and tobacco-spitting Strong finally dis- go-rged the fo-llowing plan. He advised Dr. Brandt to get a shave, a shampoo, put perfumed bear's oil on his hair, then go home and take a hath, don clean clothes, and the natural result would be that the aforesaid Dr. Brandt would be feeling so good that he would be simply irresistible. I Accordingly, about 3 p. m. upon the eventful Saturday afternoon, Dr. Brandt proceeded to carry out his instructions. The Htonsorial artist was induced to use extra precautions by the reception of a 25-cent tip, and, quite natura.lly, his skill produced a wonderful im- provement. Leaving the b-arbersho-p, our friend wended his homeward way. when his trouble-s began. To start out with, there was no hot water in the bathroom, but as he was looking forward to such a good time. he didn't mind such a little thing as taking a ba.th in ice water. In dressing, he discovered that there was not a single pair of hosiery amo-ng his ,belongings that was whole-paradoxical as it may seem, they were nearly all hole. Now, of course, these articles of footwear were not expected to he displayed at the dance: however, the Doctor was afraid of accidents-anyhow, he wanted to be fault- lessly attired. V After rummaging around several minutes. he at last found a pair of hose which, with a little effort on the part of the Doctor, were re-- paired so as to look fairly presentable. 184 5 l

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I 1 1 r 1 l l Q l ' D, .,,..,A. V v ill 2 1 l l l C I 2 L l GHE NEW DENTAL CHAIR DEDICATED TO SENIORS Your lot is a good o-ne, Most people say, You'll make a small fortune- Indeed, right away. For Dentists are robbers, You'll hear folks remark, And, likely they'll say: f'You're only a shark. You go to the co-untry, Hang out your shingle, To serve the de-ar public, s And with them yo-u mingle. With an extraction here, And a scaling there, Is this going to pay F or your new dental chair? You linger from morning Till the shadow o-f night, Striving in earnest ' To use people right. Your extracting is p-ainless, Witli devitalized air, But is this going t-o pay - For your new dental chair? Af' You go to receptions, A Banquets and balls, To churches and socials, You try to please all. You are given a welcome iWitl1 a haughty air, Do you think this will pay F or your new dental chair? Your office is a neat one, VV' ith everything new, You watch for a patient But get very few. Your future is a sad one, You can't live on air, For this will not pay For the new dental chair. Your friends and your neighbors Y Each striving to please, Say: Good morning, Doctorf' Earnestly and with ease. Yo-u go to the postofhce, Find a letter there: Dear Docto-r :-Please remit For your new .dental chairf 5 But time has passed onward, a l Your practice begun, Patients come to your office . Having w-ork, everyone. Witli bridge-work and plate-work, Your time is now scarce. And now you have paid For your new dental chair. 186