Northwestern University Dental School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Evanston, IL)

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Dutcffs Disappointment p , Not long ago Dr. Carl iRudolp-h Brandt, commonly called Dutch, and also known as Champion False-Tooth Scalerf' met a very pretty blond at a dance and became very much smitten with her. ' Evidently the attraction' of the two was mutual, insomuch as they danced nearly every dance together, and before the evening was over a date was made for a dance on the following Saturday night. Now, as Dr. Brandt always wants to make a favorable impres- sion with the ladies, and especially so in this instance, he thought it a good sche-me to ask so-meone well versed in social etiquette just how he ought to tog out and appear to the best advantage. After, thinking so-me time, he decided that Strong, c-o-unter- jumper for S. S. Wliite, was the proper person to give him the de- sired information, so he sought out Strong and stated the case to him. . . Witli much deliberation and tobacco-spitting Strong finally dis- go-rged the fo-llowing plan. He advised Dr. Brandt to get a shave, a shampoo, put perfumed bear's oil on his hair, then go home and take a hath, don clean clothes, and the natural result would be that the aforesaid Dr. Brandt would be feeling so good that he would be simply irresistible. I Accordingly, about 3 p. m. upon the eventful Saturday afternoon, Dr. Brandt proceeded to carry out his instructions. The Htonsorial artist was induced to use extra precautions by the reception of a 25-cent tip, and, quite natura.lly, his skill produced a wonderful im- provement. Leaving the b-arbersho-p, our friend wended his homeward way. when his trouble-s began. To start out with, there was no hot water in the bathroom, but as he was looking forward to such a good time. he didn't mind such a little thing as taking a ba.th in ice water. In dressing, he discovered that there was not a single pair of hosiery amo-ng his ,belongings that was whole-paradoxical as it may seem, they were nearly all hole. Now, of course, these articles of footwear were not expected to he displayed at the dance: however, the Doctor was afraid of accidents-anyhow, he wanted to be fault- lessly attired. V After rummaging around several minutes. he at last found a pair of hose which, with a little effort on the part of the Doctor, were re-- paired so as to look fairly presentable. 184 5 l

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,ODE TO A FREJHMAN 4 The last rays of the setting sun Had ceased to paint the glass, VVhefn a green, young freshman, Mr. Rose and blew out the gas. 'Twere better he had kept his bed Than thus to douse the glim, The coroner and jury said, Who sat next day on him. But some it seems will never learn Till shortly after death, 'Tvvas better that the jets should burn Than be put out with breath. It may be, that the fresh was right, VVho tried a year ago To force some other kind of light On'boarding-houses here below. For he it was without a doubt YN ho tried in various ways By po-wer of lung to worry out An incandescent blaze. But all our warnings are amiss, No odds how it applies, VVith freshie ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise. And if in blowing -out the gas These fellows will persist, NNe'll meet them over there at last And here they won't be missed. ' 183 Dun, R. E. M F I l l F

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At length he was all dressed, his hair parted with precision and exactness, and when he went downstairs to dinner the assembled multitude fairly had to gasp in admiration. Of course Dr. Brandt tried to appear cool and unconcerned. and, in truth, he succeeded very well until he lifted up his napkin and discovered a postal card, which contained the following: . Chicago, Ill., Dec. 22, tooo. Dear Carl :- UI am so sorry to have to' disappoint you to-night, but l am unwell and can't possibly go to the dance with you. W'ill see you next Saturday night at the dance. Until then, Carl, dear, I am. As ever your, . 1-f' A Turning to the waiter, the Do-ctor asked when the postal card had been delivered and was told that it was left at the noon delivery, whereupon the Doctor, in his great disappointment, unwittingly re- marked: Shoot it: if I'd known that I needn't have taken that bath nor darned them socksf, VVhen yo-ulre co-urtin' in the library, And actin' up like sin, A foolin' an' a jabberin' An' raisin' such a din, You'd better watch your manners, And cast your eyes about 5 You'll promptly find yourself called down If you don't Wfatch Out. Our Troubles Ch, maiden fair, where'er you appear The demonstrators all Hock 'round. To win your smiles, or strive to please. Compliments to y-ou they propouud. For v-ou we must wait and wait. Till the hour grows quite late. For our work they will inspect Xllheu to you they have paid their respects. 135