Northwestern University Dental School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Evanston, IL)

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I tried my duty to perform, XV as at my office shine or storm. I treated by the Golden Rule- And therefore may have been a fool. These noisy peo-ple represent The patients always discontent. Ah! for the other, larger class, I look around in vain-alas! These very Astrals-hard to please, I charged b-y far the lowest fees, And sent them bills but once a year- From which I would but seldom hear. I was as patient as a lamb- I did their work, and-'here I am' ! His indignation scarce repressed, St. ,Pete-r thus the mob addressed: Though in his chair you ill behaved- In usefulness your teeth he saved? VVell-that-he-did, they answered, but Replied St. Peter, sharply: Tut! Relieved by him of dental ills Of co-urse, you alwa.ys paid the bills? We must confess, they answered, uno. Returned St. Peter, sternly, NGO E IN' ith nod and mien triumphant, grand, I-Ie to-ok the dentist by the hand: For all yo-ur sins your tribulation VVas great eno-ugh in expiation The punishment, indeed too sharp: So pass right in-select your harp l i'i'0' AT LAST. There's tr-ouble at the boarding house. Thereis blood upon the moon. The bold, bad, base monopolists Have co-rnered the festive prune! 1-Sl

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St. Peter gravely sho-ok his head, Q And looking at the doctor said: f'Now that complaint is sensible, Such treatments indefensible! Unless-the verses dull and smooth To therapeutic sleep could soothef' The next complainant was a man Built after N ature's dryest plan, A drouthy soul-as might be seen- VVho-m from the bottle na.ught could wean. Quoth he: HFTOI11 memo-ry ne'er can fade . That set of teeth the doctor made: An incubus-a ghastly sight- In porcelain and vulcanite! Unchristian feeling I betrayg But wait, and learn its cause, I pray. Wfhile at a banquet late one night- Postprandial pleasures at their height- 'A feast of reason and a flow- Of soul,' and things the earth-b-orn know- I felt as if the up-as-tree Had breathed its poison over me. fIt all was due-so friends have said To what Ild eaten, cheese o-r breadj That night so far as I could tell IV as one protracted sinking spell. IN hen I came to-ah! cruel fate- I missed that blamed old rubber-plate! ' Remarked the dentist: Served him right. The plate got loose, when he got tightg And leaving him4sh-owed self-respect. Does that upo-n my Work reflect? - Disgusted now, St. Peter thought It time to close a case that brought Out only spiteful accusation, Qf prompt and easy refutation. For sake of form the heavenly proctor Then called for last word-on the doctor. 180 I 1 I I l 1 1 1 x V1 I i y . 'r 9 Q '1 v

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W,-,,.,,.. . I I I 1 I I ll. :I fi , s! :I I. all I I I I I I I I I I I . I I I I I I I I I I A JAD GALE Blow, blow, blow, Burn, burn, burn, This durn solder doesn't flow. The fire now has a turn, I . . More borax, he doth say, And from the porcelain facing, And for more flux he must pay. The backing goes chasing. Check, check, check, p The po-rcelain is checking, 'ID it' ,N if WGMAN, FICKLE WOMAN! J. I. Sinn, the little blo-nd Deutscher knabe, a few evenings since, blacked up his inicrosco-pic hirsute appendage which he calls his moustasche and proceeded to VV est Chicago Club House to take some exercise, namely, to dance. i No-w, this little fellow takes great pride in his dancing ability 5 in fact, he has even hinted at starting a dancing school as a side line to his pro-fession. After several attempts he succeeded in finding a lady who had nerve eno-ugh to tackle a two-step with him. They started off and proceeded only a short distance, then found it necessary to stop and start again. This procedure was go-ne through with again and again, so many times, in fact, that the onlookers thought that the couple was trying to introduce a new fancy dance, the fascination of which they failed to discern. I I At last, 'tothe great relief of the young lady, the 'dance was ended and Sinn led his partner to a se-at a.nd remarked: Miss Blank, that was an 'elegant two-step-the best I have had fo-r a long time. Young Lady Crapturo-uslyQ?j j- Yes, indeed, Mr. Sinn, it was very enjoyable. You certainly are a splendid dancer. Sinn fexpandingj- Y es, Miss Blank, I pride myself on my two- stepping. I d-on't care very much for the waltz, but the two-step I adore. The conversatio-n rather la.gged during the interval, but, at length, the orchestra began again. Mr. Sinn was excusing himself to go and find another victim, when the young lady interrupted: '0h, by the way, Mr. Sinn, here is a card of Prof. I-Iopper's Dancing .Academy-it's an excellent place for beginnersf, If' NOTE.-The composer here dropped off into an intoxicating reverie. Perhaps he was thinking of the past, for all we can discern is a lot of straggling letters, dots and pashes.-A. B. C. 182