Northwestern University Dental School - Purple and Gold Yearbook (Evanston, IL)

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JUNICR CLAJ15' PROPHECY ii' prophet of the Junior class, having vainly inquired 'RU ' ff?-if f th fi M. Jw- O ue muses an seers who guard the portals of 3 -'elf futurity, was despondent. Not only did they disclaim ha all knowledge of the after-life of those concerning 1' ' -Q -V 0 Whom inquiry was made, but in dire and dreadful terms they condemned the inquisito-rtfo the seventh bottomless pit of those realms of bliss .Where the weary are at rest and the vulcanizers sizzle a red-hot vvelco-me to all who come to see the doct-or. The prophet went back to his p-receptor. One ho-t day, while the main guy was carefully and skillfully separating his patients from their aches and molars and spare change, and the prophet was busily engaged in pushing his face up against a blovvpipe in the vain endeavor to keep a porcelain bake oven at a reason- able temperature, a patient entered, and, after stating the precise na- ture of his particular sort of trouble, proceeded to hit the nitrous ox- ide gas bag. VVhile under its benign and soothing influence he com- menced to expatiate upon a subject, which proved to be a prophecy o-f our class. The prophet hastened to transcribe the inspired Words and now, in the most unscrupulous man-ner, presents them as his own, his on-ly excuse being that the victim's ravings saved him lots of work: he trusts that the deception will never be found out, the ho-no-rs he is willing to' share with whoever proves that he is the victim. As near as could be made o-ut the first o-ne on the list was our old friend, Dr. Hairon Bushnell, admitted by all to be the brightest mem- ber of hisclass. The d-octor soon tired of his specialty, 'fcrown and bridgevvork cheap, and now devotes his entire time to the removal of corn-s and warts. There may no-t be so much money in it, he ad- mitted, Hbut as it is so closely allied to surgery I may now call myself a real doctor. There see-med to be very many of our classmates who had left the noble profession of dentistry, some for one reason and others for tvvog for instance, the Kangaroos took the stand that their time was more valuable as an exhibit in comparative anatomy than in den- tistry, and they are reaping a golden harvest. Stokes. too, found that ano-ther field awaited him, and he is now a practical dairyman. Toot T. Johnson also discarded his profession to become a locomo- tive engineer, and was thus enabled to stop the train at his own con- 125

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venience. Gilchrist started an orphan asylum and was doing finely until he commenced to put the little- -ones to sleep by giving them paregoric in twenty-four ounce doses. He is now learning to make shoes. Demonstra.tor Kellar graduated with the degree of N. G. Qcumilaudej, tried state boards in seven states, and then went to Indian Territory, where anybody can get a license for a d-ollar. He is now sidewalk plugger for the Boston Dental Parlors fat 334.39 per weekj. Texas went south and is herding sheep on one of the large ranches. Hammond is doing exceptionally well in the- hide, fur and skin business. The Blacksmith is running a plant in active opposi- tion to the S. S. Wliite Co-mpany. Wlieii last hea.rd from he was turn- ing out a blow-pipe a da.y. A good farmer was spoiled when Tower commenced the study of dentistry, and we are glad to learn that after a short and painful interview with an a.gent of the Illinois State Dental Board he has returned to his first lo-ve. Bilek is the veterinary dentist in the French army, while Macpherson is 'just a common horse doctor, without the vet. Eaton refused to part with his whiskers, which con-tinually irritated his patients, consequently he relinquished his practice. Burrell is head supe at Dorsey's museum, where he is pleasantly and profitably employed in rubbing down skeleto-ns. Dad Maginnis turned out to be the best man in his class. He studied theol-ogy and is now a Methodist bishop. Admiral George Dewey Zederbaum, after having Uturorly fortified the drainage canal, be- came professor o-f anatomy in a hen medic do-wn in Missouri. Wad- dell is a high muck-a-muck amongst the Mormons. Uglow is head usher in the ladies' department at the Fair. For some reason he does not look with extreme favor upon the frequent visits of the dental- students to the young ladies under his charge. It is highly probable that his present stand is ta.ken in the interests of his house entirely, but he has changed co-nsiderably in his views since he was a student., .Bckford is the official questioner for the Dental Insur- ance Company and when half wound up ca.n ask more questions in fifteen minutes than even the mo-st loquaci-ous applicant cares to answer. Canada Pete is head coach of the N. U. D. S. football team, having held that position since his graduation. Pete's team always win. Hess is on the road representing the firm that makes the juice that made Milwaukee fa.mous. Silverberg and Lefajdbetter started a counterfeiting esta.blishment and got caught early. Curly quit politics when the Democrats got left in Iooo, and when last heard from was using his talents by furnishing hot air to a gas fac- tory.. Lasker went back to jerusalem, where he runs a two-by-four hock shop on the corner of Rebecca avenue and Isaac street, and Daniels is still handing out hash in a free lunch chopho-use, down in the First Warcl, where Alderman Mike Dorothy a.nd his bull pup are de whole push. 124