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Page 31 text:
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Romance of tfje Calenbar w HY goodness me! said the popular one, I ' ve been teaching a week to-day; ' tis SUN. This teaching business is certainly no fun Or funds either, said she, and counted her MON. After paying her bills, long over-due, Her surplus dollars amounted to TUE. Then sadly and slowly she shook her red head, Thinking of one that she fain would WED. The weather just then seemed depressing, too, For first it friz-up and then afterwards THU. She resolved to marry — to do it or die — A bachelor, a widower, or smaller FRI. So now you behold her enthroned in a flat, Where a merry old bachelor smoked as he SAT. You ' d ne ' er think she at the Normal begun; She ' s been married a week to-day; ' tis ' SUN. i T 29
Jfacultteg ACUITY — A collection of more or less ancient persons, usually found loitering near a school; their purpose seems to be to prevent the graduation of students whenever possible. A Faculty renders the school about the same service that the vermiform appendix renders the body — viz., none. Faculties may easily be divided into two groups: (a) those who pass one and (k) those who do not. Those of the first group are ladies and gentlemen of the highest intelligence and utmost good sense, and are absolutely unprejudiced; those of the latter group are ignorant, pre- judiced, and utterly unable to judge scholarship. It must not be supposed, however, that Faculty members never reform, for in some instances they do give up their positions, resolve to break themselves of bad habits, and earn an honest living. The percentage of such reforms, however, is not very great. It is to be hoped, in this age of wireless telegraphy, horseless carriages, and tireless cookers, that some benefactor of mankind will invent a Facultyless school. If this is done, several people will possibly graduate who might otherwise spend their lives at school. 30
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