Northwestern College of Law - Norwester Yearbook (Portland, OR)

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N, 'x .--. r--3, Q. ff -. -- - -. -ft 1 fiiii . ff.,-. 'a 11 .'i-'-a 4a i-1' '1-' m 'F u i' 'A gf if, ,jf ' l,f',.QT'..i.'f H ffl iff ,ETX . K A. ,. N73 -,. ,,,.f Y -Y, -V-,N ty i ,f ,q -4, Lengthy testimony was recorded by Mickelson and Mickelson, court reporters, who were making record time at recording the testimony when they broke their flint chisel. The prosecution in its vociferous arguments to the jury recommended that the defendants' drivers license be suspended for two weeks. The de- fendants sensing defeat retreated to their last line of defense. Collier, the silver-tongued, majestically arose from his seat of two volumes of Corpus Juris and in a voice that would do justice to a braying dinosaur, he ad- dressed the jury, pointing out the war record of the defendants, the fact that they had both been twice gassed and were suffering from amnesia. Collier also hinted that the prosecuting witness wanted the concrete mixer replevined for the purpose of counterfeiting Neanderthal coins. This astute argument forced even the sophisticated Brown, representative of the Neaderthal Times, to hammer sturdily on his boulder n.ote book, instead of disagreeing with state court procedure as it was unlike that followed in the federal court. The jury decided without leaving the box and informed the court through their foreman, Huere, that they would grant the in- junction. Ifurlj'-L'igl1l

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Down the long corridor, preceded by the Praetorian Guard, moved the royal procession. First, numerous law clerks, carrying parchment rolls containing authority, then the centumvir Schnitzer, beautifully draped on a mortician's slab which was pushed down the aisle. The band burst into Chopin's funeral dirge and Schnitzer came to and began talking and argu- ing. In his own astute way Schnitzer picked the indictment to parts and reduced the charge from petit larceny to mayhem. In his powerful argu- ment to the court Schnitzer showed the value of allowing a chariot to be driven on the wrong side of the street and informed the court that it was a common occurrence on the Appian Way of which the Romans thought nothing. The court and spectators having grown tired and sleepy and real- izing that the asps had not been fed and watered adjourned court and recommended the offender's chariot be confiscated. Schnitzer retreated to a short order house and in his chagrin bit viciously at a ham sandwich. Iiifly