Northern Heights High School - Wildcat Yearbook (Allen, KS)

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Prophecy The year is 2007, and the NHHS class of 1987 is having their 20th year reunion. The women are required to sit on the north side of the lake and the men on the south because of the new “airspace” law. The attendance would have been 100 percent, except for Stacie Dawes, who wrote to decline her invitation by saying she had had enough of NHHS and refused to come back. The entertainment for the evening is world famous pianist, Naomi Clock. The first to arrive are Steve Newton and Tommy Joe Crumrine. Steve is the new principal of the Bushong Vo-Tech School and Tommy Joe is vice-principal. They arrived on the Vo-Tech bus driven by John Pee-Wee Pearson. Next, all the way from California, comes Tiffany Eastman in her pink, bubbling bug. Now known as California's Ultimate Valley Girl, she takes one look at the group and shrieks, Totally Awesome! Following Tiffany is a canary-yellow Corvette driven by everyone's favorite Barbie Doll, Christy O'Brien. She now sings with the group Barbie and the Rockers. Marcia Jones comes coasting up in her little red Chevette. She quickly rushes Peter B. Loucks into the barber's chair under the shelter. She is giving free demonstrations of the latest men's looks. Peter B. Loucks, while thumbing through a magazine, suddenly announces his middle‘initial stands for Beatrice. Suddenly, without warning, a deafening roar and a cloud of dust appears from behind. As the dust recedes, a figure appears. It is Steve Coe sitting on his Harley with horns. He is noted for becoming the first member of Hell's Angels to wear a cowboy hat. From the class of 1987, four former students are now employed at NHHS. Sean McDonald is the new boys' basketball coach. All the former students of NHHS voted Christy Reust as “Potato of the Year for her great teaching methods. Chuck Magathan now welds all the bars on NHHS windows. Birgitta Andersson is Mr. Powell's personal Swedish interpreter. A loud thunder rumbles across the sky. Don Aye, a nuclear physicist, and Marsha Williams, his personal secretary, come floating down in parachutes. They have just competed the first parachute jump from a space shuttle. Sirens are heard and we turn our heads to see Dan Eckelberry, escorted by the police, in his armor- coated Pinto. He is now a counselor for psychopathic killers. His biggest success, Tim Goodpasture, crawls out of the car. Tim, known for his brutal slayings of female aardvarks, is now a TV evangelist. He sends all his money to the preservation of aardvarks. Suddenly, a beautiful rainbow appears from the sky. Down slides Michelle Wyda with a little Rainbow in her hand, commonly known as vacuum cleaners. Michelle has put Admire on the map for her spectacular sales. Out of the water, like Bo Derek, come Rae Lynn Crane and Janice Stukey in skin-tight suits. They proceed to show everyone their famous twenty-second workout. Out of the blue, a jet plane lands on the dam. Lori Snider hops off the jet in a sparkling, crimson evening dress. She has bags full of the newest fashions for all of her hick friends. Michelle Wheat unveils her world-famous, million dollar male version of the Mona Lisa. She plans to auction it off right after the reunion. Michelle Grimsley jumps out next and proceeds to show everyone her new line of cosmetics. Grizzly's Grime. Tiny balloons suddenly appear everywhere. We look up to find Eric Wooderson in a hot air balloon. He now owns his own balloon factory called Balloons Unlimited. A blaring of a horn is heard. It is Shannon Kimball and his chiropractor, Kirk Hammond. Shannon, who is a Sumo wrestler, is dressed in a gigantic diaper. He challenges anyone who dares to fight him. Brian White, the new David Letterman, shows up all the way from Hollywood. He is with his next three guest stars: Brian Bailey, who is wanted in several states for writing obscene graffiti on church walls; Clint Myers, who is the producer of cowboy pornos from Louis Lamour books; and Steve Tucker who fixes the hottest racing cars in Hollywood. We also have two more celebrities from Hollywood. Lisa Jones is the new Dr. Ruth and makes special guest appearances to NHHS at Mr. Massey's request. She shares the spotlight with Mark Robinson. He co- stars with Tom Selleck and often does stand-ins when Tom is ill. From behind the dam, we see a tall dark silhoutte appearing. It is world-famous Harlem Globe Trotter, Tammy Hopper. She has grown to be 6'13 . She is accompanied by her bench-warming buddy, Jackie Shope. Next to arrive is Doug Blankley, riding on his pet lion. Doug is now a world famous lion tamer. Last to arrive is Mark DeWeese with a truck load of melons. Mark is now a very productive melon farmer. Everyone has arrived, the airspace rule has been quickly broken, and the partying begins. ,

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Senior Salutes Best Of Luck Rae Lynn! Our best wishes and love shall be with you through all your adventures in this year and the years that follow. Congratulations! Mom Dear Janice, The memories and moments we have had together have been very special. We wish you the best of luck in the future. We congratulate you for a great job! Love, Mom, Dad, Sherry and Mark II

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Senior Wills I, Brigitta Andersson, of alien mind and body will to Mr. Powell my ability to not know anything in Ameri- can History and Government; and to Lyon County's hung up people, my liberal views on life. 1, Don Aye, being of sound body and slow mind do hereby bequeath the following: to Brad Marcotte and Tom Reust 1 leave the ability to medal in cross country with only one shoe on; to Nancy Williams I leave my much coveted brain and quiz bowl ability; to Scott White 1 leave a bushel of Turkey Red Wheat and finally to Leita French I will a subscription to Shoot- ing Magazine. 1, Brian Bailey, being of sound mind and body will to the following: to all ex-chemistry students (like Tif- fany Eastman), the ability to determine which is the top end of a thermometer; and to Dustin Heiman, my ability to stand proud as people walk down the hall and say, Just Pass Baby. 1, Doug Blankley, being of partying mind and mis- shapen body will the following: to John Wilmore, I will the ability to have a 6 cylinder, but still not the slowest car at school; to Mark Moser, 1 will the ability to party all night long and still be able to weed eat the yard in the morning. 1, Naomi Clock, being of inquisitive mind and strange personality, do will the following: to Joey Ellis my ability to ride the bus every day without getting into a fight; to my sisters Tammy and Onalee, 1 will all of the interesting pictures I have in my locker; and to Rick Hamlin I will my ability to not fill an entire notebook with pornographic cartoons. 1, Steve Coe, being of sound mind and bareback riding body bequeath the following: to Clint Myers my ability to not get drunk and try to pick up fat women; the rest I am taking with me because nobody deserves it. I, Rae Lynn Crane, being of perverted mind and voluptuous body will the following: to my buddy Ja- nice Stukey I will my ability to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken; to Kristi Bishop 1 will my ability to take a little joke; to my feeble-minded brother I will my ability to use my brain for something more than a toy; to Lee H. Lowder I will my ability to run on ice and myself. 1, Mark DeWeese, being of sound mind and body will the following: to Jeff Schroeder my pickup battery so his car will start; to Jason Jenkins, the ability to take a shop class without getting kicked out; and to Clint Myers the ability to park without pulling into a steep ditch. 1, Tiffany Eastman, being of slender body and mind do hereby will the following: to Lori Jo and Mel I will my great cheerleading abilities; to my brother Troy I will all of my money so he will have some; to the Junior class I will my crazy ability to party; and to the 1987 volleyball team I will the ability to have a season with no injuries. I, Dan Eckelberry, being of broken body and de- mented mind, will my overused crutches to Dustin Heiman in case he ever needs them; my hair to Mr. Powell for obvious reasons; and finally my immacu- late brown Ford Pinto to Mike Zumbrum since he always dreamed of owning one. I, Tim Goodpasture, being of sound mind and well used body will to John Pearson the ability not to let anyone, especially drunks, drive my car and hide it, and my great taste in cars to anyone who doesn't have any. I, Michelle Grimsley, being of crazy mind and unde- veloped body will to Melanie Biggs and Tonya White my ability to drink my pop and not throw it at cop cars; last, I will my ability to tell the difference be- tween a driveway and a ditch to Tiffany Eastman. I, Kirk Hammond, being of scarred body and not so brilliant mind leave the following: to Todd Pierce the ability to not be such a pain; to Dusty Heiman the ability to do an assignment without cheating on it and to keep his philosophy of Just Pass Baby alive for- ever. I, Tammy Hopper, being of sound mind and small body leave the following: to Tiffany Eastman I leave my Nike high tops, because she wants to hang them on the mirror in her car; to Tricia Gundy I leave my government notes; and to Laurie Davidson 1 leave my messy locker, she's bound to keep it cleaner than I ever did; to Jacinda Kahle I leave my ability to go longer than five minutes without getting mad at someone. I, Lisa Jones, being of pure mind, body and soul, will to the following: to Todd and Natasha Soetebier, I give my love and affection, along with all the happiness this world may bring them. I, Marcia Jones, being of warped mind and abused body leave the following: to Penny Pruitt my ability to stand on risers without falling; to Matt Mercer my nose so he won't miss it next year when I'm gone. I, Shannon Kimball, being of tortured body and unused mind will the following: to Mike Zumbrum and all the happy campers, my cooler so they can keep it cool all summer; to Tiffany Estman, my ability to keep my teeth in while playing a kazoo; and to all the young girls I leave my mouth, obviously they know how to use one. 12