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Page 32 text:
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It ' s almost . . .
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Page 31 text:
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Living in a cube So, you thought your first day at kindergarten was frightening? It was nothing compared with the trauma of that first day in a college dormitory. For most students, a common cry linked both experiences: Mom, get me out of here! I just know I ' m going to hate it here. My roommate ' s going to be a strung - out refugee from the 60s. He ' ll smoke foot - long cigars, talk in his sleep, read Dostoevsky and take a shower once a month. How do I act? Is it okay to wear my lettermen ' s jacket? Can I talk to the upperclassmen? Can I talk to the girls? Or, are they women now? Registration is tomorrow, isn ' t it? The main thing is not to panic. Everyone has these fears - no one wants to admit it. So calm down. Try to enjoy it. Chances are it won ' t be half bad. Act natural, that ' s the main thing and oh, that lettermen jacket? Burn it. It ' s like wearing a neon sign that says freshman . As for the girls, just remember they ' re in the same bed, uh, I mean boat, and wondering the same things about you. So you finally meet your roommate. Well, he looks normal. Then you interrogate him to find out if you ' re compatible. Do you smoke pot? Date girls? Read Playboy or Penthouse? Now that that ' s settled, find out if he has a stereo (if you don ' t). Check out his record collection. This can be a good indicator of compati- bility. If anything close to Kiss or the Bay City Rollers shows up, clear out while you ' re still sane. Same goes for Tammy Wynette or Johnny Cash. Dinnertime? Already? Actually it ' s not half bad, despite the grunts and groans from upperclassmen. Their problem is that they ' ve been eating it too long. The best part of the meal is the fact that you can have seconds, thirds, fourths and on and on till you get sick or realize that this isn ' t your last meal. When you get back to the room you ' ve met about ten people already. See? You ' re not alone in your suffering. Now you have friends to party, study, cry or just complain to. Reality sets in soon enough, so enjoy your new environment and friends while you can.
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