Northeast High School - Record Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

Page 15 text:

, very nice and sociable that, like the Irishman, he is always ready for a friendly fight. Like Mr. Dooley, he constantly threatens to use his influence at the V' frontu against anyone who may have incurred his displeasure. And like Mr. Aft .fp - I 1 ,mg Dooley, his threats die away even as they are uttered, and are no more. Qnce f . during an Algebra spasm this old relic of the Spanish Main said to a certain guileless freshie, ln this equation we have four unknown quantities, X, y, Z and u. Now which one do we wantto get rid of l:11'SlQ?', And moved by a common impulse the entire class shouted with earnest and heartfelt fervor 'fY0zL.',. ,. ' 'fgkfv rl l Q if ,Fl 1 ,.fflivi.1v:,:.fs .- I l 1 'He M I i , f . l ,ft mfs, , 4,31 11,15 ' I ,. E V. f '5 1 ' ' 1 A ,,,f f-, ,, ,.-A-5,1 .ffl ...i 'ii fff jifi , 'IM Wifi 1' Y' fl- ' ', '3'fQ'Z?'Qi?'t:2'1, ,Qfiif ,,', llllii 'i will 1 l'lttti' it H ' tl'AQl, n ,lf ' Wx ill. it 'NW WE f'!f ARK.: '. V. his ,,., ..,V if ' ' Another mathematical man is Professor Lycurgus Leonidas Ford. Tradi- ff M it ',t' tion states that, as he was christened with the name of the famous Greek mathe- , p , H , ,lx i matician, he therefore took it upon himself to live up , V2 lrxn l iv tg, .A 'yV ff tyyy 7 . ,HA to his name. So now he teaches Geometry. It is gen- I, i V V' A erally conceded that this is the only excuse Mr. Ford ever had for indulging in that science. Be that as it L. L. FORD may, we were obliged to spend five hours a week in his lair, and itis a wonder we're alive to tell the tale. He made us draw diagrams that resembled a scrap basket full of lively eelsg then EA, :ik asked us to explain why straight line AB was not a curve, if it was straight, and why il ,'i,. .' I a circle was round if it was drawn with a compass. These and other kindred prob- lems did he propound much to the disturbance of our mental equilibrium. Wfe now pass from the sublime to the ridiculous, from the contemplation of tragedy to that of comedy. Wfe leave Lycurgus, and meet A. Oswald Michener, alias Dickie, Mich, Qssie', and other like terms of endearment. He was a new addition to our Faculty, having just been raised from the rank of Office Boy to that J g - of a full-tledged instructor in Elementary Science. Dickie', was to teach us Physi- cal Geography, but if he had been out hitting it up on the night before and conse- quently neglected to study the lesson we were to recite on the following day, he would read us some of Kipling's short stories, plentifully adorned with a good, rich, 7 '-l'j Qt 'tilt - iii genuine brogue. This was very nice and sociable, but at the next recitation period he invariably gave us a test upon what he was supposed to have drummecl into our 14 DICKY H MICHENER

Page 14 text:

is always ready to fix you up with a wire nail in place of the missing button. He is indeed a bachelor's friend. Then came Mr. Ascough. He it is whom the city pays to instruct its youth in the fine art of moulding, ti11 smithing and chipping and filing. llfloulding wasn't much fun. All a fellow could do by way of diversion was to pour sand down some one's neck, or fill his coat with the same useful substance. Tin-smithing wasn't much better. Wfe were supposed to manufacture funnels, quart cups and other articles of Billy Goat diet. But it was far more interesting to make putty blowers. Anyway, if we did not succeed in making very many of the pre- scribed exercises, there was one thing that we could do to perfection, and that was, make a racket. By laying a piece of tin on a Hat block of iron and pounding it with a mallet, we could generally manage to propagate a few sound waves which, in the course of their travels, penetrated to the furthermost corners of the building, and the nicest part of it was, that all the time we could appear to be industriously at work. Later Thomas undertook to teach us chipping and filing. For the benefit of the uninitiated l will state that the branch of science technically known as chipping and tiling consists of knocking off the top layer of a block of iron and then ploughing out the hills and hummocks with a tile. That is what it is supposed to be. But in reality we seldom got further than knocking the skin off our thumbs and l:1llgC1'S and saying naughty words. One of the truly interesting sights of the school is the Hgrtfb shop, conducted by Mrs. Van Horn. Here in a low ceilinged apartment, closely resembling the Black Hole of Calcutta, we assimilated nourishment in the form of peanut bars with mustard and frozen skimmed milk. Across one end of the cell stretched a counter over which 'fjoefl assisted by several comely, blushing maidens, dispensed chalk and water, Schuylkill mud as well as solid indigestibles. Lest there be any lingering shadows of doubt in your minds as to the identity of the first two mentioned articles, I will state that they masqueraded under the disguises of milk and coHee respectively. XVhen the whole school was assembled here at noon, one might well have been pardoned for supposing that he had stum- bled upon a skirmish between the laps and Russians. The only difference was that our weapons were breadcrusts. cinnamon buns, and other staple food products. In the academic departments maybe we didn't run up against a snag of old sticklers. First, taking them in the order of their importance came Mr. Moore, that is, in his own estimation I and his judgment is considered excellent. Our rosters stated that Mr. Moore taught Algebra, but after we had survived one period under his tender care we all came to the conclusion that the roster had made a gigantic mistake. In personal appearance, actions, and ability to breathe blood-curdling threats, Tommy closely resembles an old linc- caneer of the Spanish Main. Wlith his red hair, long flowing moustache of the same color, and a general air ol' Fierceness, he looks as though he had just stepped out of one of Robert Louis Stevensoirs novels. And he is so 13

Page 16 text:

noddles, while he was relating to us the adventures of Mulvaney. Dickie'i is also , , ,f 'tri m the self-constituted leader of our Orchestra-enough said. There is yet another gentleman whom we would fain touch lightly upon, namely, our English Professor. You have all, doubtless, seen pictures of the old Mediaeval monks, fat, slick, contented, hands folded over well-rounded belly and gif face wreathed in smiles, his whole personage speaking eloquently of indolence and good living. Wlell, that's Lemuel. Always jolly, ever ready to listen to a joke and crack a staler one in return, he is indeed a winner. Chaff is his forte. ff a fellow had his head cut off, Lem would chaff him because now he couldn't eat so much ice cream. Merely as a side issue he also gave us essays to write. Generally, he told us to read a certain book, the Dictionary, Encyclopaedia or other heavier litera- t f ture, and then bring in a Iooo-page essay upon it. lt was not long before we began to suspect that our dear Dr. based his marks upon quantity. .lt was even rumored that he weighed the products of our labor, the heaviest receiving the highest mark. To ascertain the truth of this statement, a certain s wise duck took a quire of foolseap paper and inserted a drop of paste between every two sheets, put the ,fmlv 5, 'f U iH3, title and his name on the front and turned the dummy - DR. VVHITAKER in as his essay. Sure enough, when the papers were . returned this individual had received .a D.,' VVhen we first entered the school we were given our choice of studying Ger- r,. , ', man or French. Cf course, before making any definite decision we consulted our friends in the upper classes, and got their advice. One and all they told us 4 l to take French. Said they, German is undoubtedly the best language to know, 'J but, well, we've been there, and if you want to know anything at all about the l-li I-lf' language, take French ! So accordingly the majority of us selected German. Did tif ' we learn much German? Wfell, really, now-anyway, we had lots of fun. The l7O0l' Dr. is so very tall that when he stands upon his platform he looks right over our heads, and those near him are totally lost to view. Savoy. 15 J' ., 'T' H E FRENCH MA N