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CLASS PROPHECY Why, hello, there. I think I may have something here that may be of interest to you. I have just completed my latest invention—the timescope--and I thought it might be fun to look ahead and see what heights the class of '63 will reach. Before we do this, I think that I should explain the basis upon which this scope works. You see, time is not a continuous ribbon, but is divided into particles—in other words, time is tangible. However, these particles are so small that their diameter can only be measured by the distance light travels in one millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a second. By using a cathode tube and intense gamma ray concentration, it is possible to speed up or slow down these particles at will. A television camera eye has been placed in this apparatus so that we may bridge the gap of time. Now that I'm sure you all understand, we will proceed. We will set the controls on the year 1975 and start our searcn on the east coast. There's Greenwich Village up ahead and I believe that's Lance Bell down there reading poetry; I'd never have pictured him with a beard like that! What does that billing read right behind him? Why, it's Linda Snyder and Sandy Caywood doing their Spider in the Haystack dance. I declare, what they must teach at Hanover and Anderson. That artist in the corner over therei looks strangely familiar--it's Chrystal Myers and she has just finished her latest finger painting, and I must say, that finger is beautiful. I don't see anyone else that looks familiar, so we had better push on and stop at Washington. Well, well, down there is Harold Mosher; I see his shorts are dry, but he still has to push on toward his press conference with great vigah. Let's see what he has to say to them, it's something about no one is going to top him and he is going to go for a 100 mile hike with the Marines. Overcthere is the owner of the White House Grocery, Barry Miller. Now just a touch of the dial and we are in Chicago. Say, what's that paper boy screaming about down there? Look at those headlines! LEADER OF MARIA, BUGS (MORAN) SHOCK, ESCAPED AGAIN: STEVE (ELLIOTT NESS) HINER VOWS TO CATCH HIM AND BRING HIM TO HEEL. Look at the sign on that store window; Madame Ritchie's Finest Wigs. DON T BE A SKINHEAD, BUY A WIG. There are two books on the newsstand which might be of interest, Two Heads Are Better Than One, by chemistry professor Roderick Trestrail, and How To Stay Shy Without Really Trying, by Connie Kissinger. Across the street is a School of Twist run by Babs Mater and Kathy Tracey. The sign on the door says Brownies Welcome. As we move further down the street we see a sign reading MISS CHRISTY'S CHARM SCHOOL. I wonder if Carole teaches her pupils the flirtation tactics used to win student teachers' admiration? We'll make another slight adjustment and see what's going on in North Webster. I can see that there are several new buildings. Why, there's the town gossip who blows things all around town, Carolyn Grimes. And here is Flash White's Studio, with his two models, Slim Miller and Sally Cormican on their way for a bite to eat at Azars. I notice there is still a red and white Ford setting out behind the studio. Notice the new tavern--not much use in guessing who is%running that--yep, it's Jerry A. Gullett and there are his barmaids, Margaret Streby and Pam Wagoner. I see two new gas stations in town--Pure Oil and Mobil--owned by Curt and Sue Shock and Steve and Sue White. The new owners of Weatherhead are Phil and Brenda Ladd. That looks like Rick Baker running toward the police station, reporting that someone stole his silver spoon. 26
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