North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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Page Forty-Eiylzz' THE HOWLER1934 CLEAN UP WEEK' lV1zat Others Say About It Eddie Cantor4 VVhy didnyt you tell me about this clean up campaign, I could have sent you Rubinoff. Ah, yes. Mae Wfest-CXVhose picture hangs in a dusty lockeitj- Say, why don't you clean up and see me sometime, black and grimy? Do you think you Mae VVest your time ? school . . . VVe regained this honor in 1933. Possibly they referred to Hooker's commercial chart and saw some mystical relation between the years '31 and '33, This is quite probable, as many thought we won the banner, by Hooker by crook! . . . Then again, maybe they put all the names in a hat, and North Toronto was pulled out first .... Or it may Ed. NVynn- I think have been the best two it was a good idea, 3 out of three .... If Graham, but it s noth- s ok, - those score cards were ing new. , f N., tallied the computators K . .. Q7 . M Graham - Is that - ,voor must work on an an- right ? I 5: ii.-,, nual contract .... If Ed. NVynn Y Sure, if '- all the dirst, garnered they only changed the -- QRS XVil1 Rogers saidj, name. We used to call - them poker partiesfl sf x bk :xc Will Rogers- Those North Toronto stud- ents might come down to Vyashington and help President Roose- velt sort of clean up the Senate. They cer- tainly did a good job of ilii2l1'l1Sl'l-lllg' at home. sf sf :ff DK Baron Munchausen and Charlie- Baron- And so, Sharly, efter dot, dey killed seventy-six tousand, eight hundred und ninety-vun rats. Charlie- VVhy, Baron, that's ridiculous. Baron- Und dot's not counting der vun vot got avayf' Charlie- XVhy, the whole story is absurd, preposterous. I don't believe it. Baron- Vas you dere, Shady? Charlie- No. VVere you? Baron- No, by golly, und I don't belief it minezelff' lVhat IVQ Say About It This clean-up campaign may be compared to a scavenger hunt. However, the clean-up cam- paign is really much more educational since ingenuity plays a greater part than accomplish- ment. The banner was awarded for the lirst time two years ago, when North Toronto proved to be the scavengerest secondary , :L A-Q. K '? , N 1 ilflis -3-6 I f flak - Y rf' -- . W5 WON THF any crffvfxf- UP uk , '-.,, during the campaign were stretched from end to end it would-er- well it would make NValter XVinchell, the original scavenger, feel cheap . . . dirt cheap. Yowsahf' . . . Say, Ber- . Q sc f 95 c ,, f o x :ly P.-zfuiwa, k,,,, nie, you're in the wrong section. However, you may comment in VVhat Others Say About Itf' . . . Well, anyway, if you would 'have asked the old maestro his opinion of the campaign, he would have replied it was a dirt cheap. But seeing you don't want his opinion in this section he will not give it, so help me. . . . Pardon the intrusion, folks, that was Ben Bernie . . . One thing is certain, a clean-up banner was due to North Toronto. That is if you consider the accom- plishments of our scholarship winners, track squad, and senior rugby team . . . In conclu- sion, may we say, that if the city can clean up the T.T.C. as satisfactorily as we cleaned up North Toronto, we will return the banner . . . This is your local correspondent BUD SHAPIRO . . . Good-night. as :ic So you confess that was carried to the taps sir, what part did you asked the investigator. Pls if the unfortunate man and drenched. Now, take in this affair? The Freshman rneekly replied: The left leg, sir.

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 XVell, them garden scenes goes on reg'ler fer a coupla weeks when I decides to interro- gate her as to the possibility o' more intimate social relations of a consequence. I corrals her on Count de Silver's balcony durin' the Grand Ball and lets go. Madame, says I, sneakin a arm round her waist, I reckon it's up to me to enlighten you as to certain details, proberly already embedded in your downy craniumf' Come again, she says. My love, I ventures, it occurs to me that the noble families o'Kerrean and Blessys, once united would reign soopreem on the Times sassiety page. If the feelin's is reci- procal we'll ride herd on the parson to-morrer an embrace the shackles o' Hymenf' The feelin's, she says, coyly, ix recipro- cal. Suddenly the monstrosity 0' my actions dawns on me. Here I carries myself away with my own elokwents to the extent o' inveeglin a pore innocent gal inter a sense o' security in love wich is unadulteratedly false. Wait a minute, jane, I says, slow, kinda chokin. I can't do it. I gotta confess you a startlin' revelation. You can't say nothin' that'll make no dif- ference, Sweets, she d'clares, with a hug. I don't know 'bout that, I blurts out. You see I-I aint really a Lord-now listen a min- ute.-This Lord Blessys thing is jest my idea 0' humour, see? I hit it off pretty well last season, over to Arizona an' havin' dough in my jeans, I figures on realizin my ambition fer tastin' the niceties 0' nobility. From thence forrard jep Arkeran becomes Lord Blessys- an' you know the rest. VVal, after that she looks at me kinda funny, then smiles. :'You can still bet on us, ,Iep., she says. We're two of a kind. I stares at her. Meanin' wich ? I demands. jest this, she tells me. You jest finished barin' yer soul to a Bond Street shop girl. My idea was the same as yours jep, only, she adds, rueful, I had to save for it longer. So, taint so funny, ilep. finishes, thet she is as handy as she is. VVell- he stands up an' stretches, come on in an' see if she's got some grub rustled up fer us. Page 1:lWfVX Sc'I'ClI As we goes in, I slaps jep on the back. She shore musta went fer ye, -lepf' I says. Think o' all them rich hombres she could a had. lX'loney, says he, didn' mean nothin' to her. Her soul was hungry fer love an' love I give it. Taint my soul thet's hungry right now, I suggests. .Icp starts gettin' profuse in apologies an' sets me in the parlour while he hoofs it fer the kitchen. I sets around fer hve or ten minutes an' begin to wonder if he fell down the well. Finally I goes out to the kitchen myself an' I sees .lep sittin' there, starin', an' not seemin' to see anythin'. I speaks to him soft, but he rlon't say nothin' jest shoves a piece o' paper across the table. I picks it up and reads it. Dear Mr. Arlceran,-Thank you so much for the perfectly lovely time. I enjoyed my own humorous little escapade, I am sure, as much as you did yours. You saw your no- bility 3 I saw my wild and woolly life. The mail man is taking me to the station. Thanks again, Good-bye and good luck. jane, Countess of Kerrean. l'.S.--I'll get the divorce in Paris. FINIS. tklonourable mention in the Short Story Contestl :nf as :of Pk DREAM SHORES A blissful picture lingers in my mind, As oft in dreams I view a placid sea, But dawning leaves the tranquil scene behind And nought is left but longing memory. A dancing sunbeam dropped a crimson kiss Upon a sparkling sea, whose wavering hand Had lightly traced with tender, playful bliss A lacy pattern on the silver sand. Above the beach the royal bluffs enthroned Kept silent vigil o'er the slumbering bay I-il'e some majestic monarch on his throne, VVho holds a mighty empire in his sway. No birds of prey shall seek that solemn sea, Nor angry clouds bring threats of lashing rain, For only dreams reveal those shores to me, XVhere majesty and grace conceal life's pain. -Margaret Forsythe.

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