North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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. fy N 14 . mfr- 1fim-.s'f.i- jf jg IJ-Ji' J H o IVLER, 1 934 The Love ol Lord Blessys t I By WILLIAM BARRINGER l -l E and Iep Arkeran was sittin' an' smokin' on the shady verandah at the front o' his ranch house when I cas- ually mentions a subject I wants proof ol the rumors about, bein' that he brung hisself home a wife from the ayleet o' Yurope. .lep, says I, that wife o' yourn is right smart at housework. Reckon so, drawls nlep. a corral full 0' invitations to swank balls an' sech in the immegit vicinity. 'Twas like ropin' my fust calf tryin, to pick out the ones to R.S.V.P. to so I closes my eyes an grabs one an' finds thet the honor o' my presence at Lady Sue Fralamony's ball next Saturday p.m. would be deeply appreciated. This ball, though, turns out to be a shin- dig instead of a game so I hikes back to Somebody with him. S'funny, says I. Drockleby pronto, an' That bein - fp changes my sweat-shirt 21. iinsinua- 'Ml I W fer va soup an fish. It tion, s a y s . A 5' don t seem to matter Iep, ve'll get 'fill--.314 - -, , I 9 , -4 I how late I am, cause ' ' i I . , W 'V ' I ' . the hull Yam Z 4,453-it. - ij? Q fgfa, I , v the hostess fgit thatj . ,. 1. V Q . -:ies Y -,, ,- ' to prove it. i l5lll,Jig:,,,,:. ,X I A , the hostess button-holes This starts lf pf-' ,Q Ir aqis me an introduces me to - ' ff . 1, ld -, -ll tr 31,1530 v..:1 - -Iep off on his , sr , , -- 1, , 11,55 -1- VL , ,543 the Duke de Dischewot- , , ii, ,,,-, 1, ,x .A ' . I' , ' it I kj- ' sr, fav rit p a s- Aj' ,N egg-I V, ter an' Count time 0' yarn- jill Xt' J ,- 'fl .Q l f' W- -7 Loggerb i e r Stfineine an ' IP A e-I .X I 'I i I I an' such con- ' l . 4- 1 I QQFF. 45655 ' 1 I Ilan I my favq-It O' - ,f f sg: 2zg.5fi,i' lll-V. , , f':,i' temp'rary sle- . . , . . I, ' sf' ,y,if.,3- 1.4! , I. I . . , listenin to him, but jest Q., 5 .Y ,. , Y tk N figs., bfltles an . 'H' ' X- s I IH- as I as he's a-startin' we X I1, I gin lt' then - then - - .iflai 'fy ' A f fi hears a buckboard tear- J., 'f p TERQ HNbm5,,3Q! tiff xg Pete, me boy, in' away from the back ' 1' -, I 1 ,,,, it happened. I , f ' -All- ...I ifyff o the house. In a couple if I ,f ,, s a w h e r. , . . -4, , , v o minutes we sees it a ff' .t . rg, Jap, Says I mile or so across the J IV' to m y 5 el f, ,f ' ' , . chaparral. D-f - ' 1 ' 'there is a Mail man, says blep. portion o' pulchritude you covets as part and parcel o' yer future joys and sorrows, an' He lights his pipe an' I busts off a twig o' mesquite to chew at. As ye know, he starts, I jes come back recent from Z1 trip to Iingland hob-nobbin' with the high and mighty, but as ye don't know, over thar I acquired me the moniker o' Lord Blessys in order to prognosticate any indiscriminate intentions nurtured by them as might be inclined to harbour suspicions as to my identity--. Granted, says Ig Continue, Bein' Lord Blessysf' he goes on, in resi- dence at Brockley-on-the-Sea, I nacherly gits tindin, that I agrees with me, I manages to maniperlate a introduction. Countess Kerreanf' I says, acknowledgin' same, this is one o' the few pleasures 0' my lonely life. Lonely, Lordy? she says, lookin' dreamy at me, why aint that coincidental! IXIilady! says I, tryin' to look like the but- ler in the movies over to Dead I-Ioss Gulch. Oh, don't be so formal, Lordy, she says, grabbin my arm. I think we're gonna be friends. Let's stroll in the garden an' find out.

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THE HOIVLEK193-l The little editor suffered with the rest. Iiach day he was handed an outline of the day's news , and each day it consisted of dry, safe generalities. The little editor yearned with all his soul to splash his paper with headlines, and to rouse up the people from the sluggish rut into which constant oppression had forced them. Instead he had to lull them into false security with optimistic reports of the new regime. Then one day while he was going through his roll top desk, he came upon a yellow frag- ment of paper, crushed down at the back of a drawer unopened for years. Scrawled upon it was a story that a Hurried reporter had left in the desk in the early days of the rev- olution. It was a startling story-so startling that he trembled as he grasped its significance. At last the mystery that had surrounded the disappearance of the king and queen was ex- plained. The reporter told how he, hidden in the courtyard of the palace, had witnessed the massacre of the royal couple-with the Dic- tator standing by. The little editor gasped as he realized the power that he held in his hands. The people thought they had been deserted by their king and queen when the rebels marched on the city. How would they react to the true story? His eyes gleamed as he turned the Himsy paper over and over. XVhat a headline! lVhat a sen- sation! Dare he print it? XVould this iniiame the country to rebellion against their hated Dictator? Yes-he decided suddenly-it was worth it. He would risk everything on one last glorious extra. The story was rushed to press. A carefully prepared outline of the Dictator's simple home life was tossed aside and in its stead a violent Genuissa's Truckle Bed my love for thee. Genuissa smiled to herself. Riches we have not, my beloved husband, but there still remains my bed. VVhether it would build thee a city such as thy heart desireth, I cannot tell. Arviragus regarded her closely, thinking that perhaps she suffered from fever, and looked about for the leech. But Genuissa laughed aloud with amusement and happiness. Stoop thy broad shoulders, she cried, and Page Forty-Fitfc denunciatory article was printed. Half an hour later the sensation was shouted on the streets by hastily enrolled reinforcements of news- boys. It was the first extra Slavogia had ever seen. The ex-editor mopped his brow. The mob went crazy, he exclaimed, stark, staring mad! Long years of hated oppression had made them sullen and brooding. Their former king, who had been the most heartless ruler Slavogia had ever had, they now regarded as a saint and martyr. They stormed the palace. The guard and the army joined them and the Dictator lied from the country. Then by some strange twist of mob psychology they turned to the man who had stirred them to action. The little man smiled sardonically. They carried me-their saviour-to the palace and installed me on the throne. I was to inaugu- rate a new era of prosperity! He plucked idly at a bit of grass clinging to his shabby suit. Headlines shot me onto a throne, he smiled, but headlines brought me down again-I need not go into that. I was not a very good king. His voice was wistful. He rose abruptly, and turned to go. XVords started to my lips, but something held them back. The last I saw of him was his shiny pink tonsure twinkling in the sunshine, as he moved off across the park. I rose, tucked the paper under my arm and walked slowly out into the hum and rush of the city. My thoughts fled back to the stirring days in the little state of Slavogia, for they were as familiar to me as to the little ex- editor, whose scare headlines had sent me fleeing from my country to end on a park bench in a great Canadian city. I had been the Dictator of Slavogia! fContinued from page 431 draw forth the bottom of the bed. Therein thou shalt find not only the four chests of silver that my father promised thee, but also two chests of gold. Take them, with all my love, and build thy city. Thus in due time there arose fine buildings and fair roadways, surrounded by a wall. The people were very proud of their new town and the beautiful queen who had caused it to be built. They named it Kerglou and later Gloucester.

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 XVell, them garden scenes goes on reg'ler fer a coupla weeks when I decides to interro- gate her as to the possibility o' more intimate social relations of a consequence. I corrals her on Count de Silver's balcony durin' the Grand Ball and lets go. Madame, says I, sneakin a arm round her waist, I reckon it's up to me to enlighten you as to certain details, proberly already embedded in your downy craniumf' Come again, she says. My love, I ventures, it occurs to me that the noble families o'Kerrean and Blessys, once united would reign soopreem on the Times sassiety page. If the feelin's is reci- procal we'll ride herd on the parson to-morrer an embrace the shackles o' Hymenf' The feelin's, she says, coyly, ix recipro- cal. Suddenly the monstrosity 0' my actions dawns on me. Here I carries myself away with my own elokwents to the extent o' inveeglin a pore innocent gal inter a sense o' security in love wich is unadulteratedly false. Wait a minute, jane, I says, slow, kinda chokin. I can't do it. I gotta confess you a startlin' revelation. You can't say nothin' that'll make no dif- ference, Sweets, she d'clares, with a hug. I don't know 'bout that, I blurts out. You see I-I aint really a Lord-now listen a min- ute.-This Lord Blessys thing is jest my idea 0' humour, see? I hit it off pretty well last season, over to Arizona an' havin' dough in my jeans, I figures on realizin my ambition fer tastin' the niceties 0' nobility. From thence forrard jep Arkeran becomes Lord Blessys- an' you know the rest. VVal, after that she looks at me kinda funny, then smiles. :'You can still bet on us, ,Iep., she says. We're two of a kind. I stares at her. Meanin' wich ? I demands. jest this, she tells me. You jest finished barin' yer soul to a Bond Street shop girl. My idea was the same as yours jep, only, she adds, rueful, I had to save for it longer. So, taint so funny, ilep. finishes, thet she is as handy as she is. VVell- he stands up an' stretches, come on in an' see if she's got some grub rustled up fer us. Page 1:lWfVX Sc'I'ClI As we goes in, I slaps jep on the back. She shore musta went fer ye, -lepf' I says. Think o' all them rich hombres she could a had. lX'loney, says he, didn' mean nothin' to her. Her soul was hungry fer love an' love I give it. Taint my soul thet's hungry right now, I suggests. .Icp starts gettin' profuse in apologies an' sets me in the parlour while he hoofs it fer the kitchen. I sets around fer hve or ten minutes an' begin to wonder if he fell down the well. Finally I goes out to the kitchen myself an' I sees .lep sittin' there, starin', an' not seemin' to see anythin'. I speaks to him soft, but he rlon't say nothin' jest shoves a piece o' paper across the table. I picks it up and reads it. Dear Mr. Arlceran,-Thank you so much for the perfectly lovely time. I enjoyed my own humorous little escapade, I am sure, as much as you did yours. You saw your no- bility 3 I saw my wild and woolly life. The mail man is taking me to the station. Thanks again, Good-bye and good luck. jane, Countess of Kerrean. l'.S.--I'll get the divorce in Paris. FINIS. tklonourable mention in the Short Story Contestl :nf as :of Pk DREAM SHORES A blissful picture lingers in my mind, As oft in dreams I view a placid sea, But dawning leaves the tranquil scene behind And nought is left but longing memory. A dancing sunbeam dropped a crimson kiss Upon a sparkling sea, whose wavering hand Had lightly traced with tender, playful bliss A lacy pattern on the silver sand. Above the beach the royal bluffs enthroned Kept silent vigil o'er the slumbering bay I-il'e some majestic monarch on his throne, VVho holds a mighty empire in his sway. No birds of prey shall seek that solemn sea, Nor angry clouds bring threats of lashing rain, For only dreams reveal those shores to me, XVhere majesty and grace conceal life's pain. -Margaret Forsythe.