North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 Mr. Gerrow: There's someone in this class making a jackass of himself: when he's lin- ished I'll begin. :if :sf wk :r West: VVhat do you make boots from ? Shoemaker: Hide. VVest: VVhy should I hide ? Shoemaker: Hide, hide, the cow's outside. XVest: Let the old cow come in, I'm not afraid. Teachers Opium: of 2D Howard Smlth Frank KNapp Johnson Turnbull Marjory Roglirs Allan Lamb Horace Love Peggy XVhItham John Gomer Lois Collitnan Aubrey YouNg Nancy Taylor 2E ' McTaggart Cto Dalzielj: Do you under- stand Theorem VH? Dalziel: Yes sir! McTaggart Qto the rest of the classj : Then I may take it for granted the rest of the class understands it too. wk fi: wk as Tait and XVard do look very much alike. XYe venture to wonder which of the two finds this most insulting. lk if :of 4: Bill Greig: Thelma, will you marry me Thelma: No, Bill, but I'll be a sister to you. Bill: Well, tell your father not to forget his son in his Will. We believe that Roberts must know a blush in time saves nine. an :if :if 4: We would also like to know what Miss Fletcher and Kuhn converse about so often and so quietly in that part of the room farthest removed from dear teacher. 4: ak wk It To satisfy the curiosity of a lot of people: Miss Fletcher and Kuhn both come from Que- bec and therefore have something UD in common. ' Page .XvI.1IC'N'.Y1'llC' 2F Miss Laughlin: VVho was Michael Angelo F Helen Poslin: A 'chizzelorf vs x ar :if Thelma Ransom: May l put my foot on this stool, sir? Mr. lXlcTaggart: I guess so, it's a fairly wide one.', wk ar ar Pk XVC have in our Form 2F- Payne but no doctor. Clark but no beans. Archer but no arrows. Hick but no farmer. Ransom but no money. Macintosh but no apples. Alexander but not Great, King but no Prince. Gray but no black. 1A Trow, he was a lanky guy, He liked the girlies fair, And every time he saw a girl, He'd start to comb his hair. XVedlock is a ladies' man, Deny this statement if you can: Xwaen damsels are in sore distress, He takes their part with happiness. Miss Hicks in Algebra did preside, XVhen much to her vexation, Laughter, she could not successfully hide, Burst forth to relieve irritation. Pk if :if ui: IVhat the Class IV01zder lVhy Trow liked Dinner at Fight. XVhy the clock was fast when Hicks arrived late. XVhy Stainton never Finds the classroom un- til the bell rings. NVhere Spencer got his permanent. lVhy VVhite is so quiet. XVhy Huke never cracks a smile. How Lovering always knows his French. NVhy Mills tries to be so exact. NVhy Minear always tries to beat everyone. Why Suitor is always smiling at Wedlock.

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Page Ninety-Eiglzl 3L Tobias asked his grandmother to Reade him a story if he, in return, would XYheeler down to the store in her wheel-chair. She answered, I VVilson. It was a topsy Turvey story and How! She read: At the break of Don the Cock began to crow. Over Thayer a Weaver was seen with a Gray shawl around her shoulders. A very Rothschild named Tucker came along with a Newman-who was a Morter. They talked to the old lady and planned ill against MacInnes, lVittmann and Jones Co. -lust at this point of the story the clock struck four, and his grandmother said, No Morrison to- day. XVhen he would Nott behave she kept -lohn at him and told him to act like a XVar- burton, and then to-morrow she would Finish the story and tell him another about Poppleton, Hodgson and Kennedy. ai: :if :if wk Favourite S!Ij'I'IljlS of Our Teaclzcrs Mr. Gerrow: Incid3ntally . . . Thanks. Mr. Lewis: Gentlemen, please! Miss Tilston: You may go.', Miss Mahoney: XYould someone please open one of those windows ? Mr. Teeter: You can't find anything until you know what you are looking for. Miss Fenwick: Come on, you old ladies. Miss Allen: When I was travelling in France. x :if wk wk IVe IVOna'cr VVho wins the arguments, Grace Nott or Mr. Lewis. Why Tony Hargreaves always goes to Muriel Gray for back notes. If Harding likes writing poetry: He looks the type. If Genevieve really has a New-man. Does Gwen really crow like a Cock? 1: wk sf at 2A Mrs. Robbin: Jim, how is it that you have lower marks in january than in December? Jim: Oh, everything is marked down after Christmas. Om' Cafe' First Pupil: I just had ox-tail soup for dinner and I feel bully. THE HOIVLER, 1934 Second Pupil: That's nothing, I had hash and I feel like everything. wk ar 11: ar 2B Mr. Farmer: VVhat is a worm ? Cam. Grant: A caterpillar that belongs to a nudist colony. Ik if :ic as Miss Allen: McCormick and XVenger, stop talking. McCormick: You know birds of a feather stick together, Miss Allen. Cheeseworth: Yea, cuckoosf' x :r we :if Mr. Lewis ffavourite songj : You are my past, my present findicativej and my plu- perfect. 2C French Gccasional: Is this sentence com- pound or simple P Roberts: Compound to me but simple to everyone else. :if x wk an Tlzouglzfs of 2C Gillfillg an Ifxaili MarsHall llarrOn StunaP BakEr StanLey PortEr McI'herSon GanSby Miss Menzies was taking up Kerunont XVillie. lVe arrived at the point where Dickie of Dryhope runs the fausee of Sahilde through with his lance because he had ne'er a word to sayf' Right to the point, remarked Miss Menzies. - 2D Miss Laughlin: Clarke! lVhat have you been doing? Clarke: Taking part in a guessing contest. Miss Laughlin: But I thought you had a Latin exam ? Clarke: I did. :if Pk :if JF Flunked in Latin, failed in Maths, I heard him softly hiss, I'd like to find the guy who said Ignorance is bliss. l.

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Page Ona Hzfzzdrcd IB XVhat our teachers produce: 'Tilston REynolds PhilipS STrangways HarrisS wk wk 'xc as Miss Tilston to Montgomery: Translate the verb 'to laugh'. .le grin Nous splitz Tu smirke Yous snikker ll giggle lls bustent wk if as if 1B's Pa,v5c,tsi01z,v Rlcformack but no biscuits. Bowes but no butter. Keen but no mustard. Awde but no even. Fox hut no wolf. Foote but no hands. Gaynor but no Janet. Potts but no pans. Mackenzie but no King. Partridge but no quail. Hamilton but no Toronto. :sf :sf :if ar 1C A few llfcks ago we went to the bush to pick Berrys, which we sold to the Porter at the station for a Nichol a box. XVe wore our old Lacey clothes. There were ten of us and Franke drove the Fzzllford. VVe also had our Tough little dog, who was a great Barker and very Cimzmiizg. XVhile we were going along the road a Bear suddenly appeared. Someone yelled lVlzeeIcr the other way and we Darted past. XVe arrived home to ind that the Cooke had some Cauzpbclllr soup ready for us. wk :if 14: wk Rigsby was reading. Presently he paused and took the volume to Mr. Houston. Mr. Houston, he said, what does it mean by diplomatic phraseology? Mr. Houston thought for a while before he said: My boy, if you tell a girl that time stands still while you gaze into her eyes, that would be diplomacyg but if you were to tell her that her face would stop a clock you would be in for it. THE HOIVLER, 193-I XVe'll have to hire an interpreter next to tell Maclain and Cumming that in the country we came from we had a language of our own too. wk as ac x 1D lVe are wondering why Beatrice Fean is always giggling. I guess she needs a little tightening up. an x :ic ai: jim: You know something, my sister got a pearl out of an oyster. black: XVhy that's nothing, my sister got a diamond out of a nut. :if :ic x :if The Trials of a Sclzool-illaster ' Teacher in Arithmetic: lf there were three peaches on the table and your little sister took one, johnny, how many would be left ? johnny: How many sisters would be left ? Teacher: Now listen, Johnny: If your sister ate one of the three, how many would be left F Johnny: XYe air1't had no peaches in the house this year, let alone three. Teacher: lVe are only supposing that there were peaches. johnny: They wouldn't be real peaches. Teacher: UNO. johnny: Or pickled peaches. Teacher: No, no. There wouldn't be any, we are only supposing. johnny: Supposing what ? Teacher: That there were three peaches. johnny: Yes Teacher: And your little sister eats one. Johnny: A'She'd eat the three - you don't know my little sisterf! Stop me. if you have heard this one! 1 - 5 - vfglx - X A ' 'rg pw... ' 1 I :1 . -Q X-rs? V U 1-5. 'qs-J . . 9 vzilwijl V 1 - ,,, - ,rin ' t 3 -5 A. a N, '- ' J ' W - V 1 r 'I ' , A I ' 5 , r .1 F- , A- x 'x ' X 3 .- .D - L 'YQ ,ex - - a, ll-, 1 , I ' Y .- .e,-A . V gg. Q3 . n., I. .1: N xx 3 K , fi-.ist Eiga. . Ly V-'Jn ' '- 1 'D '40 - H 5' Hd- , , 'Usa .Q u-F. l 5' all-if '...:f'7 -3 . - 771- I