North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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Page Ninety-Eiglzl 3L Tobias asked his grandmother to Reade him a story if he, in return, would XYheeler down to the store in her wheel-chair. She answered, I VVilson. It was a topsy Turvey story and How! She read: At the break of Don the Cock began to crow. Over Thayer a Weaver was seen with a Gray shawl around her shoulders. A very Rothschild named Tucker came along with a Newman-who was a Morter. They talked to the old lady and planned ill against MacInnes, lVittmann and Jones Co. -lust at this point of the story the clock struck four, and his grandmother said, No Morrison to- day. XVhen he would Nott behave she kept -lohn at him and told him to act like a XVar- burton, and then to-morrow she would Finish the story and tell him another about Poppleton, Hodgson and Kennedy. ai: :if :if wk Favourite S!Ij'I'IljlS of Our Teaclzcrs Mr. Gerrow: Incid3ntally . . . Thanks. Mr. Lewis: Gentlemen, please! Miss Tilston: You may go.', Miss Mahoney: XYould someone please open one of those windows ? Mr. Teeter: You can't find anything until you know what you are looking for. Miss Fenwick: Come on, you old ladies. Miss Allen: When I was travelling in France. x :if wk wk IVe IVOna'cr VVho wins the arguments, Grace Nott or Mr. Lewis. Why Tony Hargreaves always goes to Muriel Gray for back notes. If Harding likes writing poetry: He looks the type. If Genevieve really has a New-man. Does Gwen really crow like a Cock? 1: wk sf at 2A Mrs. Robbin: Jim, how is it that you have lower marks in january than in December? Jim: Oh, everything is marked down after Christmas. Om' Cafe' First Pupil: I just had ox-tail soup for dinner and I feel bully. THE HOIVLER, 1934 Second Pupil: That's nothing, I had hash and I feel like everything. wk ar 11: ar 2B Mr. Farmer: VVhat is a worm ? Cam. Grant: A caterpillar that belongs to a nudist colony. Ik if :ic as Miss Allen: McCormick and XVenger, stop talking. McCormick: You know birds of a feather stick together, Miss Allen. Cheeseworth: Yea, cuckoosf' x :r we :if Mr. Lewis ffavourite songj : You are my past, my present findicativej and my plu- perfect. 2C French Gccasional: Is this sentence com- pound or simple P Roberts: Compound to me but simple to everyone else. :if x wk an Tlzouglzfs of 2C Gillfillg an Ifxaili MarsHall llarrOn StunaP BakEr StanLey PortEr McI'herSon GanSby Miss Menzies was taking up Kerunont XVillie. lVe arrived at the point where Dickie of Dryhope runs the fausee of Sahilde through with his lance because he had ne'er a word to sayf' Right to the point, remarked Miss Menzies. - 2D Miss Laughlin: Clarke! lVhat have you been doing? Clarke: Taking part in a guessing contest. Miss Laughlin: But I thought you had a Latin exam ? Clarke: I did. :if Pk :if JF Flunked in Latin, failed in Maths, I heard him softly hiss, I'd like to find the guy who said Ignorance is bliss. l.

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ll THE HOlVLER,1934 3H Mr. Forsythe Cafter doing an experimentl : Lights, please. Silence - zip - crash - tinkle. Kingsmill: Here you are, sir. Pk Pk Ik Pk Norah McCherry: Ain't Coutts 'grand'? Edith Johnston: Your French is all right but your eyesight is bad. at fr 4: af Pcrsoualtier If there is any Rumbling in the form we know who to blame. ar :of wr x Ken Coutts almost lost all his hair when we began to take up the extraction of roots in Algebra. ff af af :af You got to be Sharp to know the work. :of wk :sf ak The correct name for Hill should be Mound, for he is only 5 ft, 6 in. tall. as :k :lf Pk Mr. Frank Csubstituting for Miss Keageyl : VVho's Soper? Rousell fspeaking for classl : XVe all are! sf af af x Soper: Miss Sharp, please stop talking. Your badness reflects upon yourself. Miss Sharp: Then you had better never look in a mirror. af ar wk ar Mr. Reynolds fAlgebraj: Coutts, there are some little pieces of paper near your seat. Coutts: Yeh! I know! Denison just dreamt that he was married so I tried to oblige. an x sf :ic Miss Allen: Is Davis here ? Yes, Miss Allen. A few seconds elapse- then, Er-uh-er-yes, Miss Allen. Miss Allen: Russell is here but I have my doubts about Jack. lk lk Ik lk One scholar: Who broke that window F Another scholar: The slug-machine at the Roehampton Pharmacy. Page .Yirzcly-Sewell 3K Scene-On board the good ship Hearts of Oak, carrying a load of Canadian trees, bound for England. First Mate: Some storm, eh Cap ? Silence. First Mate: Some stomi, eh Cap ? Silence. First Mate: Some storm, eh Cap ? Captain: Say listen, that's fret' times you've said that. First Mate: I know, but I just wanted to ask what chance we have. Captain: Oh, we maple through. First Mate: Oh, how I pint' to be with my little ones. Captain: XYell spruce up, me lad. First Mate: Say Cap, I would like to ash you a question. Captain: Oak, go ahead. First Mate: VVhat's that I radar in the water? Captain: That's the 3-mile float. First Mate: Oh buoy, we haven't fir to go. At this time in punishing story the Second Mate appears, all aflutter and bursting with excitement. Second Mate: Captain, we've sprung a leak. Captain: Get back and fix it, that's the most poplar remedy. Second Mate: We can't sir, we're half sub- merged. Captain: Have Ht'III lark our papers in the safe and prepare to drown. Second Mate disappears down the hatchway. Captain: Walnut, what's it going to be ? First Mate: VVhat do you mean, sink or swim F Captain: Naw! It's going to be fliers, mit. Second Mate freappearing from the under- wear-pardon me, I mean hatchwayj: The white mice are under the trees and everyone has started to balsa. Captain: The mice wood be, fir heaven's sake. First Mate: Alas, my friend. Captain: You'1l ask me what F First Mate: Alaska to lash me to the elm.

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 Mr. Gerrow: There's someone in this class making a jackass of himself: when he's lin- ished I'll begin. :if :sf wk :r West: VVhat do you make boots from ? Shoemaker: Hide. VVest: VVhy should I hide ? Shoemaker: Hide, hide, the cow's outside. XVest: Let the old cow come in, I'm not afraid. Teachers Opium: of 2D Howard Smlth Frank KNapp Johnson Turnbull Marjory Roglirs Allan Lamb Horace Love Peggy XVhItham John Gomer Lois Collitnan Aubrey YouNg Nancy Taylor 2E ' McTaggart Cto Dalzielj: Do you under- stand Theorem VH? Dalziel: Yes sir! McTaggart Qto the rest of the classj : Then I may take it for granted the rest of the class understands it too. wk fi: wk as Tait and XVard do look very much alike. XYe venture to wonder which of the two finds this most insulting. lk if :of 4: Bill Greig: Thelma, will you marry me Thelma: No, Bill, but I'll be a sister to you. Bill: Well, tell your father not to forget his son in his Will. We believe that Roberts must know a blush in time saves nine. an :if :if 4: We would also like to know what Miss Fletcher and Kuhn converse about so often and so quietly in that part of the room farthest removed from dear teacher. 4: ak wk It To satisfy the curiosity of a lot of people: Miss Fletcher and Kuhn both come from Que- bec and therefore have something UD in common. ' Page .XvI.1IC'N'.Y1'llC' 2F Miss Laughlin: VVho was Michael Angelo F Helen Poslin: A 'chizzelorf vs x ar :if Thelma Ransom: May l put my foot on this stool, sir? Mr. lXlcTaggart: I guess so, it's a fairly wide one.', wk ar ar Pk XVC have in our Form 2F- Payne but no doctor. Clark but no beans. Archer but no arrows. Hick but no farmer. Ransom but no money. Macintosh but no apples. Alexander but not Great, King but no Prince. Gray but no black. 1A Trow, he was a lanky guy, He liked the girlies fair, And every time he saw a girl, He'd start to comb his hair. XVedlock is a ladies' man, Deny this statement if you can: Xwaen damsels are in sore distress, He takes their part with happiness. Miss Hicks in Algebra did preside, XVhen much to her vexation, Laughter, she could not successfully hide, Burst forth to relieve irritation. Pk if :if ui: IVhat the Class IV01zder lVhy Trow liked Dinner at Fight. XVhy the clock was fast when Hicks arrived late. XVhy Stainton never Finds the classroom un- til the bell rings. NVhere Spencer got his permanent. lVhy VVhite is so quiet. XVhy Huke never cracks a smile. How Lovering always knows his French. NVhy Mills tries to be so exact. NVhy Minear always tries to beat everyone. Why Suitor is always smiling at Wedlock.