North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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Page Ninety Herr Klinck Cjust after Mr. Hornblast and Doris Collins have finished translating a rather touching scene in Unter Vier Augenj: That's line! That's the way I like to see it done-no hesitation whatsoever! :if wr ar :if Herr Klincl: tto tzzrdy studentsj: Now I want you girls to get in on time. I just saw Colonel XVood walking along the hall with one of the members of the board. Tardy Girls: Sir, that was his wife. Voice from the back: Hal ha lffthe board of control! :r :r ar if No Blackbirds This Time Only a man who has been there could have written the following: Sing a song of penitence, A fellow full of rye: Four and twenty serpents Danced before his eye. XVhen his eye was opened He shouted for his life: VVasn't he a pretty chump To go before his wife? PK ik wr wr 4B Come gather round ye students and harken unto me, And listen while I tell you of The wonderful form -IB. Search round the school and through the school, And whatever forms you see, None of them can possibly compare lVith the wonderful form LLB. And when you read this narrative you will I know agree, That never has there been a class Like this wonderful form LLB. In September when we had to pay Our Association Fee, Vlfho got the pennant for paying up first? Why this wonderful form 4B. In athletics we excel as anyone can see, For who won the Volleyball championship? Why the athletic form 4B. Who is the one who is the Tennis Single champ? THE HOWLER, 1934 Someone is asking meg XVell it's Ida Tipp, who is, of course, A student of 4B. if 4: :if :sf Louis lVinnel was walking up to the front of the room. Someone tripped him. Stan McFarlane: He's like. a parachute. Chuck Gibson: 'WVhy? Stan McFarlane: He was made to fall. 4: 4: 4: 1: Miss I-Iampson: The Persians melted away and the Greeks wanted to, but they hadn't any place to melt to. Myrtle Andrews: NVhy didn't they melt in Greece F 4: :se 4: wr The Young Bride: Men are too mean for anything. XVhat's the matter now ? asked her best friend. W'hy, I asked Jack for the car to-day, and he said that I must be content with the splen- did carriage that nature gave me. ff an wk 4: Ralph Hunt: XVho was the smallest man in history ? Eleanor Doan: I don't know. Ralph Hunt: The Roman soldier who went to sleep on his watch. 4: :lf wr :sf Mr. Tolmie fto Myrtle Andrewsj: VVhat is Theorem 9 F Myrtle tells him. Mr. Tolmie: Did you have your book open ? Myrtle: Yes. Mr. Tolmie: Your mind is like an open book. i.,.r-'S+

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 Time-Late Fall. Mr. Teeter fafter having asked a questionj : What are you doing ? Student fturning the pages of his note-book furiouslyj. Mr. Teeter: This is no time to be raking up the leaves! wr ac in 4: Mr. Page: Do you remember last year in Virgil when the goddess impaled Cyclops on a sharp crag? Student: But that's beside the point. :of :nr ix nk 4A EVENTUALLY fVVith apologies to Longfellowj A soft wind murmurs through the towering forest trees And mars the oily surface of the ebbing seas. Above the green-clad hills the morning sun holds sway, While in the vale below, sleeps the tiny village of Grand Pre, Still stands the forest primeval and the deep- voiced neighbouring ocean Whispers contentment, Many years have come and gone, The village stands in the summer sun, But the lusty crowing of the cock Is silenced by a well-aimed rock, Beside the road, a gaudy board Announces the latest type of Ford: At the historic site of the village well, Arises a strange, a pungent smell: And where stretched the olden forest bogs, There stands a sign, 5c. Hot Dogs. The shop where ancient ploughs were made, Now sells candy and lemonade. Carving letters on the moss-grown bucket, Stands a tourist from Pawtucket. Reclining on the sparkling sand Lie tourists listening to the band. Among the children round about Resounds a fierce and nasal shout: Peanuts, pop-corn, chewingsgumf' And all about the trampled grass Lies rubbish in a jumbled mass. At last we see the name Evangeline, We read 16c. the world's best gasoline. We stroll the line as lovers did of yore, Page Eighty-Nina But we are halted by a sudden shout of fore In the square where soldiers formed in ranks An orchestra supplies the tune of Thanks And in the fields the song of a bird Is drowned by shouts of Come on, steal third! And as we walk, we realize There still remains one natural prize, There still stands the forest primeval, And the deep-voiced neighbouring ocean NVhispers Baloney. if wk if fi Cooper: That suit is three sizes too large for you. XVilson: Yes, I know, I bought it in my home town-I'm a bigger man there. x 4: x vf .ai Adinirer. you get it? Husband: Uh, I bought it at I2aton's. Admirer: suits ? That's a nice suit. lVhere did n Does your wife pick out your Husband: No, she only piclcs the pockets. x x xc -r Friend: lVasn't that an amusing quarrel you had with your wife last night ? Husband: Yea! NVhen she threw the axe at me, I thought I'd split. in 4: is is Bert S.: Say, what do you do with your spare time ? Murray H.: I'1n a diamond-cutter.', Bert: A diamond-cutter? Murray: Yes, I cut the grass at the ball park. 4: ar x if Cooper: I don't know what to do for the week-end. Phil McS.: Have you ever tried using hair tonic F Pk :if af au Do you wake up with a grouch every morning ? No, I divorced her. It ar 4: af Doris C.: Did you know a new meat mar- ket has been opened by Hogg and Pigg ? Eilleen C.: My goodness! I never sausage a combination before. ai- an :if at The only difference between NVilson and Gracie Allen is that Gracie is only fooling.

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 Croft Huddelston Qafter talking to Audrey Kelly in German classj replies: Tsch! tsch! Mr. Klinck: What was that, Huddelston P Croft: Only some German, sir. 4: x as: 1: School Days Johnny asked. Mary refused. johnny begged. Mary blushed. Johnny argued. Mary hesitated. johnny insisted. Mary resisted. -lohnny tried. Mary surrendered. So little johnny carried Mary's books home from school. FK wi: as: lk 4C Mr. Medcof: Y.'alters, how would you punctuate this sentence, 'The girl who was very beautiful smiled at me.'? Tommy NYalters: Ill make a dash after the girl. sr if 1: 10: McCogue tpassioaatclyl: jc t'adore! Lois Freek: Shut it yourself, lazy. x: wi: 4: 4: McCogue has the teachers worried. He re- fuses to give them the key to his code of writ- ing and they don't know what he writes about them on the exams. 4: vi: lk Pk Mr. Page froaring to trembling classj I Who dropped that pin back there? I tell you I won't put up with this infernal racket. 4: au: 4: Pk The wrinkles in our form master's brow are due to the dilliculty he is having in perfect- ing a machine which will correctly record and transmit the numerous names of those who are invited to the otlice each morning by Mr. Ayres. a: as: 11: 1: 4D The Scotch Rugby yell: Get that quarter back. Pk ar 4: 4: Bill Bowlen, star half-back of the Junior team, made thirteen successful passes in one game. Note: The dice were loaded. ws: 4: 4: 1: They laughed when VVillis sat down at the piano-he'll never wear tight trousers again. ws: al: 1: a: Jolly: Does Holmes like work ? Gauley: He likes nothing better. Page Ninety-One They say Duncan Stewart always fries his bacon in Chipso-so it won't shrink. -4: wx: if s: 4D's comedians: Colson and Johnson. x PF a: a: Miss Laughlin: If you want a thing done well, do it yourself. Bill Boyd: How about a hair cut F ik 1: ik 4: Giffen: Did you till your date last night ? - Bond: I hope sog she ate everything on the menu. if wa: 1: Ik 4E 4 Marion: Bob wants me to wear a grass skirt to the masked ball. Bernice: But, my dear girl, what are you going to do about it F Marion: Oh, I'll just wriggle out of it. 4: 1: 4: iz: Mr. Lewis: McKennetly, what do you know about Greek Syntax F lllcliennedy: Gosh, did they have to pay for their fun too ? 9: a: x ff Contents of Gardener's Chem. notebook: 16 telephone numbers. 12 Drawings, girls' heads. 1 Imaginative drawing, a teacher. 1 Preliminary draft, letter to Marg. 13 Rosedale addresses. -I Forest Hill addresses. 1 Recipe, beer-with-a-kick. 5 Pages chemistry notes. av, i 1 9.9 f 'N I-Q I 3