North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE HOIVLER, 1934 Time-Late Fall. Mr. Teeter fafter having asked a questionj : What are you doing ? Student fturning the pages of his note-book furiouslyj. Mr. Teeter: This is no time to be raking up the leaves! wr ac in 4: Mr. Page: Do you remember last year in Virgil when the goddess impaled Cyclops on a sharp crag? Student: But that's beside the point. :of :nr ix nk 4A EVENTUALLY fVVith apologies to Longfellowj A soft wind murmurs through the towering forest trees And mars the oily surface of the ebbing seas. Above the green-clad hills the morning sun holds sway, While in the vale below, sleeps the tiny village of Grand Pre, Still stands the forest primeval and the deep- voiced neighbouring ocean Whispers contentment, Many years have come and gone, The village stands in the summer sun, But the lusty crowing of the cock Is silenced by a well-aimed rock, Beside the road, a gaudy board Announces the latest type of Ford: At the historic site of the village well, Arises a strange, a pungent smell: And where stretched the olden forest bogs, There stands a sign, 5c. Hot Dogs. The shop where ancient ploughs were made, Now sells candy and lemonade. Carving letters on the moss-grown bucket, Stands a tourist from Pawtucket. Reclining on the sparkling sand Lie tourists listening to the band. Among the children round about Resounds a fierce and nasal shout: Peanuts, pop-corn, chewingsgumf' And all about the trampled grass Lies rubbish in a jumbled mass. At last we see the name Evangeline, We read 16c. the world's best gasoline. We stroll the line as lovers did of yore, Page Eighty-Nina But we are halted by a sudden shout of fore In the square where soldiers formed in ranks An orchestra supplies the tune of Thanks And in the fields the song of a bird Is drowned by shouts of Come on, steal third! And as we walk, we realize There still remains one natural prize, There still stands the forest primeval, And the deep-voiced neighbouring ocean NVhispers Baloney. if wk if fi Cooper: That suit is three sizes too large for you. XVilson: Yes, I know, I bought it in my home town-I'm a bigger man there. x 4: x vf .ai Adinirer. you get it? Husband: Uh, I bought it at I2aton's. Admirer: suits ? That's a nice suit. lVhere did n Does your wife pick out your Husband: No, she only piclcs the pockets. x x xc -r Friend: lVasn't that an amusing quarrel you had with your wife last night ? Husband: Yea! NVhen she threw the axe at me, I thought I'd split. in 4: is is Bert S.: Say, what do you do with your spare time ? Murray H.: I'1n a diamond-cutter.', Bert: A diamond-cutter? Murray: Yes, I cut the grass at the ball park. 4: ar x if Cooper: I don't know what to do for the week-end. Phil McS.: Have you ever tried using hair tonic F Pk :if af au Do you wake up with a grouch every morning ? No, I divorced her. It ar 4: af Doris C.: Did you know a new meat mar- ket has been opened by Hogg and Pigg ? Eilleen C.: My goodness! I never sausage a combination before. ai- an :if at The only difference between NVilson and Gracie Allen is that Gracie is only fooling.

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Page Eighty-Eight Briefs of N.T.C.1.-1950 5F Pat Coyel, attending N.T.C.I., failed in only five subjects. Among the new teachers to be received at this school was one Jack Hodgins, renowned Geometry professor. Audrey Lindbergh, the ever present, lec- tured this afternoon on Helpful Hints to Hedication I-Iopefulsf' The minute that seems a year-waiting for that bell to go. wr af at wk 5G Scene-Room 34. Time-9 a.n1. any morning. Characters-Pupils of SG, who may be viewed any time between 9.10 and 9.50 Qoh yes! + Mr. Murdoch.l As the curtain rises we see Mr. Murdoch seated at his desk, glaring at a piece of paper. There are a few Qvery fewj other occupants of the room. Mr. Murdoch flooking upj : Miss lacklin, did you bring me your excuse for Vtfednesday morning? No answer. H Mr. M.: I said, Enid! Did you . . . Enid Cwalzing up with a start at hearing her name, grabs her Caesar and begins to trans- latej: And Cassivellaunus halted his troops and encamped in this place far into the night. Mr. M. Qabsent-mindedlyl : XVell, why not tell Cassie and his friends to leave earlier the night before, so you can get to school in time after this? He continues to contemplate the paper. Time passes and suddenly there is a sound of sliding in the hall. Catching the door for support, Jean Carr hurls herself into the room, trying to look very dignified. Mr. M.: Now let's see, there are a lot of absentees here this momingf' QAt this point Ruth Byres, Newbold and Pollard exit.D The door opens, and Frances Cuthbertson tlounces in, picks up her books and proceeds toward exit. Mr. M.: My petite demoiselle, are you leaving us F Frances Qwith disgustj : Oh, I'm changing my time-table. Ta-ta. THE HOIVLER1934 XVork finally begins and after a great struggle ten girls are persuaded to put as many sentences on the board Qsounds of a skirmish followl. Mr. M.: Ladies and others: I heard you the first time. Oh, take your seats, I'd rather do them myself. fHC,COH1111CHCCS to tear his hair at the second sentence: by the last he is foaming at the mouth.j Mr. M. Cputting away his comp. bookj: Take your Caesars. Protesting Voices: l'But sir, you said to bring the poetry book. CWith a sigh takes up book-telephone rings.j Gord Sutherland fansweringl : Ingram? And what is the second name? Qweaklyj Uh! lSutherland walks out.j Mr. M. fspying Ingramlz VVhy, I marked you absent. You weren't here when the bell went. Ingram tdisgustedlyl: I know, sir. I've told you one hundred times, I'm not registered in 5G. Mr. M.: Ah yes, 5E isn't it F Ingram: No sir, changed again: 5F now the goes outj. Mr. M.: Muriel, translate. Muriel: I don't think I- Mr. M.: Norah, go ahead. QOur three Norahsj chorus: I can't sir. Mr. M.: VVell, proceed Frances. The remainder of the period is spent by Mr. M. listening to Frances L., while we catch up on some badly needed sleep. As the bell goes to end the first period fwith all due apol- ogies to Foster Hewittj we amble on, to con- tinue our rest elsewhere, while Mr. M. mourns our fate and then forgets about us. if Ik if lk Mr. Keeling: In the government, the radi- cals are on the right wing, the conservatives on the left-you can have your choice of wmgsf, Dunbar: I'll take a drumstick! if :lc wk 4: 0 why do you wear your clothes so tight, lfVith the weather so sticky and warm? Fran. looked in the mirror and then replied: Ch, simply a matter of form!

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Page Ninety Herr Klinck Cjust after Mr. Hornblast and Doris Collins have finished translating a rather touching scene in Unter Vier Augenj: That's line! That's the way I like to see it done-no hesitation whatsoever! :if wr ar :if Herr Klincl: tto tzzrdy studentsj: Now I want you girls to get in on time. I just saw Colonel XVood walking along the hall with one of the members of the board. Tardy Girls: Sir, that was his wife. Voice from the back: Hal ha lffthe board of control! :r :r ar if No Blackbirds This Time Only a man who has been there could have written the following: Sing a song of penitence, A fellow full of rye: Four and twenty serpents Danced before his eye. XVhen his eye was opened He shouted for his life: VVasn't he a pretty chump To go before his wife? PK ik wr wr 4B Come gather round ye students and harken unto me, And listen while I tell you of The wonderful form -IB. Search round the school and through the school, And whatever forms you see, None of them can possibly compare lVith the wonderful form LLB. And when you read this narrative you will I know agree, That never has there been a class Like this wonderful form LLB. In September when we had to pay Our Association Fee, Vlfho got the pennant for paying up first? Why this wonderful form 4B. In athletics we excel as anyone can see, For who won the Volleyball championship? Why the athletic form 4B. Who is the one who is the Tennis Single champ? THE HOWLER, 1934 Someone is asking meg XVell it's Ida Tipp, who is, of course, A student of 4B. if 4: :if :sf Louis lVinnel was walking up to the front of the room. Someone tripped him. Stan McFarlane: He's like. a parachute. Chuck Gibson: 'WVhy? Stan McFarlane: He was made to fall. 4: 4: 4: 1: Miss I-Iampson: The Persians melted away and the Greeks wanted to, but they hadn't any place to melt to. Myrtle Andrews: NVhy didn't they melt in Greece F 4: :se 4: wr The Young Bride: Men are too mean for anything. XVhat's the matter now ? asked her best friend. W'hy, I asked Jack for the car to-day, and he said that I must be content with the splen- did carriage that nature gave me. ff an wk 4: Ralph Hunt: XVho was the smallest man in history ? Eleanor Doan: I don't know. Ralph Hunt: The Roman soldier who went to sleep on his watch. 4: :lf wr :sf Mr. Tolmie fto Myrtle Andrewsj: VVhat is Theorem 9 F Myrtle tells him. Mr. Tolmie: Did you have your book open ? Myrtle: Yes. Mr. Tolmie: Your mind is like an open book. i.,.r-'S+