North Toronto Collegiate Institute - Howler Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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Puffs Eifffzly 2 9 9 Mtg N THE HOlI'LER,1934 :lasts gg ascan Ozwr the Srlzool Hooks Xl'e imagine that there will be a general rush toward the lliology Lab. now that the news is out that Mr. Ilrennand has introduced a mid-morning meal called Ilrunch. The menu varies. Sometimes, dainty earthworms, pickled in their own juice, are served. Other- times, relishes of seaweed or liverwort, fresh water clams, or oysters on the half shell Cminus the oysterl comprise the repast. Among other things we heard that Marg Henders and Fran Cuthbertson are going to drop that swagger: that Desmond Fitzgerald hopes to make next yea1 s rugby team: that Iilmer Doan and Art Dunbar are going to stop the rotten punning. Could it be so? lVe wonder how long it will be before the teachers realize that the originality is just about gone off of You're the worst form I've ever had. Hand-knitted sweaters are very swish! For information apply to Florence l'ugsley or Mary Ritchie. Une young lady was repri- manded for knitting during a spare. XVouldn't it be fun if everyone did it? Can't you picture Mr. Ayers working on a pale pink afghan while talking about mayzures and inertia or while distributing S.3fl's ? xc :sf 4: x lVe wonder what this means. NVhen the Howler staff picture was being taken Mr. Reynolds stepped in and immediately the film stuck! at sk ss: x Mr. Keeling: Baldwin, where is Hodgins Ben Baldwin: Oh, he's in the Aud. playing a duet: I finished my part first. Bk Pk Pls PK Q Shiny noses are all right in New York: in fact, they're the thing there, but we haven't noticed any around here, except in the gym, and there-goodness sakes! XVe wonder if Mr. Page still intends to have the boys' half of the room fitted up with mirrors and shaving equip- ment if the girls insist on powdering their noses in his period. That would be great, Mr. Page: then we could use the mirrors, too. Have you heard North Toronto's Cheer Song as it appeared after the newspapers' com- ments about high school rugby being too tough for the lads? X'Vell, here it is: N.T.C.I. we will fight for you: Any cause will do, Other teams we'll boo: VVe'll go in to cut and bruise and 1Tl3lI'l1, All their blood we'll drain, Raw! raw! raw! raw! Blood and gore we'll always gladly share, May our cross-bones e'er fly. Victory comes while we swing Knuckle-clusters on chins to ring. So jeer! jeer! jeer! jeer! jeer! lVe will fight again for N.T.C.I.! How's that? :of wk wk x Here's a new yell for you, folks:- Rickety-Ry! Rickety-Ry! We come from the north And our record is high. You think you can beat us? See if you can! lVe're back of our school To a single man! Yea, North Toronto! wk wk :if 4: uery: Is it true, Miss Greenshields, that Patient: Ch Doctor, I am so wretched, I you are going to be married soon ? feel I want to kill myself. Answer: Well, no, it isn't, but I'm very Doctor: Leave it to me. grateful for the rumour.

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THE HOlVLER,1934 Page St'1'u11ty'-.X'111e l EXCHAN T' ' -i i Like everything else, the Exchange page is very apt to become monotonous with its constructive and destructive criticism: consequently, in an attempt to escape from the beaten path, we are giving you excerpts from the magazines that have been received in this department. llluizaiz .'l1lt1I3'f.'t't1 Symbol-lY.0. A member of the human family. Occurence: Found wherever man exists. Physical properties: All colours and sizes. Always appears in disguised condition. Sur- face of face seldom unprotected by coating of paint or film of powder. Boils at nothing. May freeze at any moment. However, melts when properly treated. Very bitter if not used correctly. Chemical properties: lfxtremely active. Possesses great atiinity for gold, silver, plati- num and precious stones of all kinds. Violent reaction when left alone by men. Ability to absorb all sorts of expensive food. Turns green when placed next to a better appearing sample. Fresh variety has great magnetic attraction. Note.-CHighly explosive and lilcely to be dangerous in inexperienced hands.l Vox Lycei, Central Collegiate Institute, llainilton, Ont, af wt: lk an E1'0IIIflItlfltllI.v There is something definitely wrong with examinations. The defect is that they are too boring. They are not interesting enough. No- body's faltering spirits have ever been rallied by thc chilling words, XVrite a detailed ac- count. Nor has the awful phrase, ln about three pages, describe-, ever helped an aspir- ing scholar to pass. A good motto for those who set examina- tion papers would be, UA laugh every line. To this end, the numbering could be done in some original fashion. There could be con- tests in numbering questions, and the teacher who numbered the examination paper so that the student could not tell how the questions followed one another would get some little prizeva counting board for instance. A paper composed entirely of misprints, instead of only one quarter as they are now, would be a novelty lviirsiesillg many great adx antages. For instance each question would have three or four possible answers. Then there is the idea of aslzing questions without giving any marlcs for them. This nould certainly lfeep the pupil alert. lf he couldn't answer the question he would not lose anytliing, and if he could an- swer it the examiner would probably find out something he did not linow before. illotfrl I.I'ft'I't!I'IlI't' Ptifm' Question. the lfirstf Name any book you happen to have read. tlf the pupil is not in the habit of reading books he need not answer this question. There are no marks for it anyway. lt was just asked out of curiosity.l The Second Questions Quote from meznory the following gems: tal The Farmer in the l7ella20 verses. tbl ,lulius Caesar, .Xct 1, Scene Il, line 2007 to line '2lllU inclusive. Somebody has l'Jl'tJll'flll it to the author's attention that there are no such lines. That is all right. Nobody said there were. Pupils will do either questions one and two or fail. Lux 1Slebanaffmlttawa. :k ak lk fi: Also aclznowledging: The Twigwbniversity of Toronto Schools. The McMaster lNlonthlyfMcMaster lfniversity. 1. iarneau licho-lidinonttin, Alberta. Acta Ridleanafliidley College. Tech Tatler-Danforth Tech. lilevator-Belleville Collegiate. The Mitre-L'niversity of Bishops College. The Review-London Central Collegiate. The Argosy--Saclcville, N.B. Blue 8: Gold-Mount Herman School, North Point P.O., Darjeeling, India. The Kings School--Parramatta, Australia.

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TH E H O H' L E R, Z9 3 4 111110 lfigllly-Om' HARD EARNED WAGES S S S S QIZNGLISH XVEEKLYD An artist, who was employed to renovate and retouch the great oil paintings in an old church in Belgium, rendered a bill of 5367.30 for his services. The church wardens, however, re- quired an itemized bill, and the following was duly presented, audited and paid: For correcting the Ten Commandments.tF5.1'2 For renewing Heaven and adjusting the stars ........,.........,..,....... 7.14 For touching up Purgatory and restoring lost souls .......,................. 33.06 For brightening up the ilames of Hell, putting new tail on the llevil, and doing odd jobs for the damned ........... 7.17 For putting new stone in l5avid's sling, and enlarging the head of Goliath . . . , 0.13 For mending' the shirt of the Prodigal 3.39 Son, and cleaning his ear ........... For embellishing Pontius Pilate and put- ting new tail and comb on St. l'eter's TOOSYCI' O -30 ................... NA, lfor re-pluming and re-gilding the left Y w wing of the Guardian Angel ........ 0.16 6 For washing the servant of the High Priest and putting carinine on his cheek ............................ 5,02 For taking the spots oil the son of Tobias 10.330 For putting earrings on Sarah's ears .... 5.26 For decorating Noahs Ark and putting new head on Shem , ............... -L31 367.30 Herr Iilinck tgazing with disgust at the group of chattering girls in the cornerl: 1 guess this is as good a time as any to spread you girls around. Enid -lacklin: You aren't going to spread me around. sr :ic sk wk Tommy came from the room where his father was hammering nails, weeping bitterly. VVhat's the matter? asked his mother. Boo-hoo! Father hit his thumb with the hammer. lVell, you shouldn't cry, you should laugh. Boo-hoo-I-I did! as x :if as Boring young man: You know, I'm funny that way-I always throw myself into any job I undertake' Pretty girl, sweetly: How splendid. VVhy don't you dig a well? an x as as lst Medical Student: lVhat's worrying you P 2nd Medical Student: You know I am desperately in love with Miss Beautief' Yes, and I have noticed lately that she has a sad, dreamy, soulful expression. That's it. I don't know whether it's love or her liver. iaifiei-iy had teeth Young you were Sister: like pearl Brother : gradually as .. .Xnd what did you say? Hostess: XYon't you have another piece of pudding, Tommy? So Mr. Goldhatch said I 'Oh, nothing, except that getting used to them. els Pls vls Tommy: No thanks. Hostess: You seem to be suffering from loss of appetite. Tommy: It isn't loss of appetite. XVhat I'm sulitiering from is politeness. Pls vis :ls Pls Mr. Page: Now class, turn to page GO. Voice at back: If you can't find 60, read page 30 twice. Mr. Page: That's enough wisecracking.-- Don't make notes 3 just keep everything in your head as you go along and you'll have every- thing in a nutshell l COh, Mr. Pagelj Pls as as Ik lVillie: Mother, my Sunday School teacher never takes a bath. Mother: NVhy lVillie, who told you that ? lVillie: She did. She said she never did anything in private that she would not do in public.